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Old 10-09-2008, 04:53 PM
Location: Central Kentucky
850 posts, read 3,163,057 times
Reputation: 531


That's what she really needs right now - and the assurance this is not the end of the world.

Yes, she has options. I pray abortion is not one she looks at hard. I speak from personal experience on this one.

Ok world - here it comes...I am 42 and have a 6 month old as I have stated in other threads. When I found out last summer, I was terrified. My boys are grown - one married - and my husband and I have not had the best relationship. I confided in a few co-workers, and my boss at the time came to me to 'talk'. He is a Christian, so he claimed (not his stand on abortion led me to question it, but I would have never guessed from his lifestyle), anyway...he strongly suggested an abortion due to my age, the Fibromyalgia and R.A. that I have, and because of the rocky marriage I was in.

I was so confused and devastated. Not one person I told was happy - they all replied 'oh s**t' - including my mother. I even had people asking whether or not my husband was the father - given our marital issues. Such a nightmare.

I have always been pro-life, but found myself thinking..well, maybe...THANK GOD I snapped out of it. I am lucky to be in a now solid relationship with the most beautiful baby boy in the world. He is smart, and the sunshine of my life. It's hard - really hard, though. The sleepless nights and nap;ess days do wear one thin. But I would not change a thing.

My first child was born at age 19. I was married, but to a 'Christian' man who was not ready for a family. I went so far as to call the clinic, then came to my senses. Now, my first son is about to make me a grandmother.

Yes - every woman, by law has the right to make a choice, but I think at any age ending the pregnancy seems to be an easy way out. It is not. Do a Google search for the support group for women who regret their decision to terminate their pregnancy. Often, that decision haunts them for the rest of their life, whereas a baby can bring joy - either to the mother or an adoptive family.

My best frined in the whole world had an abortion when she was 20. I knew something was wrong, and called the very day she did it although I had not spoken to her in a year. After, we talked and she confided she felt there was no where to turn, the guy was a jerk, and she did not want to ruin her life and keep this guy attached to her for the rest of her life. She now has two children - 7 and 5 - regrets every day the life she ended.

Your friend is lucky to have you. Just make sure she understands the emotional trauma she will face until she dies, verses the 9 months of being uncomfortable and giving joy to another family if she decides to give the baby for adoption. She needs all sides of this and as much love and understanding as possible.

If she is planning to abort - better get on it. 2 missed periods puts the baby at about 8-10 weeks - a little heartbeat, arms and legs starting to form. She needs to understand it all.

If she is adament about not going to a facility - I do not know her beliefs - and it is really irrelevent - but contact a local clergy she feels comfortable with. They have connections and can counsel on both sides.

Prayers for you and her. Take a deep breath and proceed confidently through this with her. These are the things life are made of, and it is how we handle them that grows character for the future.


Please do not hesitate to contact me if there are specific questions I can answer or point you to. I will work as much as possible to help you both, with my beliefs in check. I am not attempting to convert or sway - just want to help.
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