Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am currently in the military but am due to get out soon. I have decided not to re-enlist because I am pregnant and the father is due to be moved overseas (we don't want to do the shotgun wedding). I feel that the best decision for our child is for me to let my time ride out and leave. I am also due to move into my junior year of college next semester. But, I have nowhere to go. No family. My options as to where to relocate are completely open. My major is social work. The places that I have been considering are Oklahoma City, OK and Nashville, TN. I am considering things such as cost of living, colleges, and assistance that can be provided because I will be 7 months pregnant when I get out and I don't believe any one will hire me until my child is old enough for daycare. I am attempting to give myself some more time in but I don't see that happening unless I re-enlist. Of course I would do that before I let myself and my child become homeless. But the baby will have no one but me. Any advice will help.
Regardless of whether the father is due to be shipped overseas, you need to do the appropriate paperwork (whatever that might be) to ensure that you receive appropriate child support and that the child is recognized as a dependent. It may be that "the baby will have no one but me" in the physical sense and at the moment, but he/she deserves to know who his/her father is and vice versa. Personally, I would go wherever it is that you have the most support.
I'm a bit confused. I don't understand why you are leaving the military. I don't understand why you're not marrying the father.
I hope you're planning to go into the Reserves. Seems the only thing stable you have going for your child is that you are in the military.
Consider Pittsburgh. The cost of living is low. There are many colleges and universities. People are very friendly, making it easier to build a support network.
Thanks for the advice. I am leaving the military because my time is up and I don't have family to help me out if I get deployed or on an overseas assignment where I can't take my child. I don't want to misuse the army and wait until they say it is time for me to deploy and then say I can't and get out on a family care plan chapter. As for me and the father... I was happy to find out that I was pregnant but him...not so much. He tried to fake it but now he feels that I am ruining things for him. That is a bit harsh but it is how I feel. His words were "D***, I was not looking for this right now. Now I don't know what the H*** to do. S***. I guess we could get married. At least we know we can tolerate each other." So I told him it wasn't necessary. Things may change later.
Thanks for the advice. I am leaving the military because my time is up and I don't have family to help me out if I get deployed or on an overseas assignment where I can't take my child. I don't want to misuse the army and wait until they say it is time for me to deploy and then say I can't and get out on a family care plan chapter. As for me and the father... I was happy to find out that I was pregnant but him...not so much. He tried to fake it but now he feels that I am ruining things for him. That is a bit harsh but it is how I feel. His words were "D***, I was not looking for this right now. Now I don't know what the H*** to do. S***. I guess we could get married. At least we know we can tolerate each other." So I told him it wasn't necessary. Things may change later.
His words were "D***, I was not looking for this right now. Now I don't know what the H*** to do. S***. I guess we could get married. At least we know we can tolerate each other." So I told him it wasn't necessary. Things may change later.
It might not be necessary now but in the end you might need financial support your child is entitled to. The military will ensure your child is taken care of by this turkey if you let them. He will fulfill his commitment to you and his child monetarily if no other way. Your baby needs it. You will need it, if not now, soon. I can see why you would just say Never Mind, Thanks Anyway. I probably would have done the same thing.
It might not be necessary now but in the end you might need financial support your child is entitled to. The military will ensure your child is taken care of by this turkey if you let them. He will fulfill his commitment to you and his child monetarily if no other way. Your baby needs it. You will need it, if not now, soon. I can see why you would just say Never Mind, Thanks Anyway. I probably would have done the same thing.
Agreed. It really doesn't matter if he is happy about it or not. He is 50% responsible. He needs to provide monetarily at the very least. Do whatever paperwork is required and make sure the child get's what he/she is entitled to.
My guess is neither place will be significantly better than the other. Apply for a job. Move where you get one. Lay off college until after the baby's born. When your kid is 6 months to a year old start looking for a place to really settle down, finish school, and all that. I think things are going to be tough enough between the time your service is up and your baby being a few months old that you should just try to find somewhere to be and then worry about finding the right place to be once your baby is born and is a few months old.
Why is money the first thought that comes to mind when anyone says anything about a father not wanting/being ready for an UNPLANNED pregnancy? Everyone acts like the guy should just jump for joy because some girl can't keep her birth control straight and gets knocked up. You can't lie and say every time a girl realized she's pregnant and its unplanned she jumps for joy.
If my girlfriend came up to me and said she was pregnant, I sure wouldn't be happy about it at first, but I know in the end I'd be responsible. Of coarse, I'd also be wondering how her BC got messed up.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Reply
