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Old 05-16-2012, 03:28 PM
 
2,364 posts, read 2,621,374 times
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The party is for her, not you so that she can gloat for organizing it. She needs to respect other's wishes & get a life.
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Old 05-18-2012, 02:35 PM
 
7,579 posts, read 9,219,435 times
Reputation: 4921
the charechter in the story sounds like her problem is that shes too nice and a people pleaser , not a hanging offense in my book

the OP sounds like a cynic who sees agendas in others

thats my reading
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Old 05-18-2012, 02:45 PM
 
4,526 posts, read 5,673,551 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sayulita View Post
Can anyone give name to this behavior so I can research it? I have a friend who is exasperating because she is "too nice".
Let me elaborate by giving you an example of said behavior. You have a significant birthday coming up and she wants to know what you are going to do to celebrate it. You demure and say it's no big deal (and you mean it). She insists that something be done and presents several options. All of which you decline. She won't let it go and keeps pressing for some sort of party/gathering to mark the occasion. No amount of dissent from you deters her and she continues to aggressively pursue planning an event. Long story short, she, frustrated by all attempts to force you to "celebrate", marks the occasion with inappropriately timed party, cake, flowers, balloons etc. And never understands your dismay at her attempts to help you "celebrate".
She is too nice to a fault and you have no idea what is behind it. Other behaviors that accompany this are inappropriate and overboard reciprocation for minor favors, a need to please when it matters little to an outcome and an inability to recognize when she needs to stop and listen to objections.
I really want to research this for tips on how to handle it. Any help will be gratefully (and appropriately) received.
this is not being nice but rather a tremendous desire to be in control and have her wishes carried out no matter what
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Old 05-18-2012, 04:48 PM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
16,079 posts, read 26,639,027 times
Reputation: 18129
Quote:
Originally Posted by LovelyinLa View Post
She's not too nice, she's pushy.
^^^This

Quote:
Originally Posted by auntieannie68 View Post
this is not being nice but rather a tremendous desire to be in control and have her wishes carried out no matter what
And this^^^

I feel suffocated just from reading the post.
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Old 05-18-2012, 06:29 PM
 
Location: FL
1,727 posts, read 2,398,233 times
Reputation: 1049
Refusing to take no for an answer repeatedly is a controlling behavior, not a people pleasing behavior. What is "pleasing" about being nagged into doing something that you don't want to do??
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