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Some interrupters don’t get that other people think before speaking, which means that pauses don’t slways mean, “Your turn to talk now.”
Plus points. Put this up in lights. For those who actually listen, it's pretty obvious when there are actually stopping points for the next person to speak and when the original speaker is merely gathering their thoughts. So many interrupters aren't actually listening, just setting up to pounce.
Even though this is an old thread, it's still a persistent problem. Guess society hasn't gotten kinder and more civil lately.
I've always found this rude, but now that I'm older I don't tolerate it. After a few interruptions, I calmly turn and walk away while they're still talking. For some reason they seem surprised.
This is what I don't understand. Why is there so much of this in the US? I don't encounter this in most other places I've lived in or travelled to, except in rare occasions, when someone has suffered a trauma, like bereavement. Clearly, it's a neurotic behavior, and everyone else in those societies recognizes it as such, and cut the person some slack, since it's widely known the person is grieving or traumatized. IOW, it's widely considered to be unusual and unbalanced behavior.
How to explain the prevalence of motor-mouths and interrupters in our own society?
One good thing about the pandemic and spending so much time alone, and/or with pets: You realize how much crap you put up with to "get along." I know that is true for me, and I hope if I ever reintegrate back into society, I am able to walk away from such abusive people.
(I am too polite and don't like to cause scenes is why I put up with it - also, because they tend to escalate if you challenge them in the least).
I can't stand conversation hogs. If I see them coming, I go the other way. Or I'll leave a group where one person is "holding forth" like royalty. No time for that.
So many interrupters too. As DH gets hard of hearing, I see this happening. He seems to not realize I am actually talking, even if answering his own question, as someone else noted. He is so sweet and considerate, this just doesn't fit with his personality. So periodically, I have to call him on it, which I hate, as it draws attention to his hearing deficit which he hates.
Some interrupters don’t get that other people think before speaking, which means that pauses don’t slways mean, “Your turn to talk now.”
So how long should they wait? 10 seconds? 20?
I have always been able to think when I am speaking and I am sure most other people can too.
People should realize that if they are interrupted it may mean people really don't care about what they have to say and are trying to change the subject.
Me and a friend have been called out as "interrupters" but whenever I talk with her I find it totally normal. Add to that, the people who find that I'm interrupting, usually interrupt themselves but because I don't mind they don't give second thought to that.
Basically I don't really get the need to think before you speak. If you want to think why not just say what you are thinking as abstract as it is and figure it out with your friend or the person you're talking with?
And if you haven't finished you can always say "sorry can you let me finish?" I can't think of anyone saying no.
But what looks like interruptions are not always so. I just remembered one coworker from back in the mid-1980s with whom our conversations could sound like nothing but interruptions by both of us. But these were cases in which we literally finished each other’s sentences exactly as they were about to do, and thus the actual sentences were fully finished...by two people. The “interrupted” person then started a new sentence that flowed seamlessly onward. Our voices merely switched back and forth in one sentence. Neither of us felt run over. On one occasion, a third person watched us with her mouth open. At the end, she exclaimed, “How can you two know what the other person is going to say?!!!” It WAS eerie, and I have never had that verbal connectedness with anyone else.
I lived in that situation and after several years I moved out. Since then, if I visit and that happens then I leave. Had a couple of difficult situations at my place though. This happened and I walked away into my bedroom. I was followed in there and it started again so I went out for a walk. I came back home and it started again. They would not leave and they would not leave me alone and they would not let me speak, to answer their questions or express my feelings. We had planned to stay at their place that evening. I helped to carry several bags of their shopping to their place and left to go home and have some peace! I don't feel particularly happy because of it but if those incidents are going to keep happening I can't live with it for the rest of my life, enough is enough.
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