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01-15-2012, 07:16 AM
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270 posts, read 379,090 times
Reputation: 90
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Is someone being passive aggressive or emotionally abusive if they are constantly bouncing in and out of your life? He/she gets mad because they feel you have "wronged" them ...Always being blamed for one thing or the other and then you move on with your life because the person has told you that they are done with you to just have them reappear weeks or months later. Over the span of a year and a half I've had this person continuosly come in and out of my life. Once again i was told that they were "done with this in 2011" and "better Luick Next year"...Ive tried to always be a good friend as I am with all my other friends but something just feels off not sure if its me or the other person..What to do?
To be clear...he was introduced through a mutual friend and their was a mutual initial interest but kept it friendly. In person he was always nice and pleasant ..funny never disrespectful. As i do with all friends i tried to include him in our group hangout and even one on one which was always fun..but I was always accused of trying to hard to be a good friend which I never understood. He would then disappear for awhile and then pop up with "where have u been ?oh you're too good to talk to anyone anymore?" after clearly being annoyed with me
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01-15-2012, 07:45 AM
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Location: Pa
42,757 posts, read 50,682,983 times
Reputation: 25334
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Is this person bipolar?
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01-15-2012, 11:12 AM
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13,518 posts, read 18,368,682 times
Reputation: 16541
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sounds like your "friend" just wants you around when it's conveniant for them...never mind you....he/she saying to you (after months of no communication)"you too good to talk to anyone anymore" is actually them trying to lay the blame on you, for their own lack of curtesy and respect....YOU are not the one who's "off"...it's them.
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01-15-2012, 11:14 AM
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21,808 posts, read 19,751,478 times
Reputation: 52320
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Borderline personality: "I hate you, don't leave me!"
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01-15-2012, 11:19 AM
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12,572 posts, read 14,965,124 times
Reputation: 8953
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzyj19
Is someone being passive aggressive or emotionally abusive if they are constantly bouncing in and out of your life? He/she gets mad because they feel you have "wronged" them ...Always being blamed for one thing or the other and then you move on with your life because the person has told you that they are done with you to just have them reappear weeks or months later. Over the span of a year and a half I've had this person continuosly come in and out of my life. Once again i was told that they were "done with this in 2011" and "better Luick Next year"...Ive tried to always be a good friend as I am with all my other friends but something just feels off not sure if its me or the other person..What to do?
To be clear...he was introduced through a mutual friend and their was a mutual initial interest but kept it friendly. In person he was always nice and pleasant ..funny never disrespectful. As i do with all friends i tried to include him in our group hangout and even one on one which was always fun..but I was always accused of trying to hard to be a good friend which I never understood. He would then disappear for awhile and then pop up with "where have u been ?oh you're too good to talk to anyone anymore?" after clearly being annoyed with me
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Socially awkward drama queen. The phrase in bold is stuff we used to say in high school. Next time reciprocate the banter and see how he responds.
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01-15-2012, 11:23 AM
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47,531 posts, read 67,063,584 times
Reputation: 22417
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Well... it might be flakey to keep this person coming back. He may like having a doormat around but you don't have to allow yourself to be one. Just stop letting him come back into your life, you already know the pattern.
People like that who blame you, leave and then want back in your life are toxic to you.
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01-15-2012, 07:05 PM
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Location: GA
1,241 posts, read 1,815,266 times
Reputation: 1279
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They bounce in and out of your life because you allow them to. I have known passive agreesive people.....aka punks who can't man up and share how they feel and somehow feel they need to play games to try and level a score in a game you had no idea you were playing. These questions come to mind:
1. Is he coming back after he tried dating the other girl?
2. Is he that petty and childish when it comes to communication that he resorts to "girlie" tactics?
3. Is he gay and disappearing to get with his lover and then come back to you later? (LOL. just kidding)
Whatever his situation.Kick him to he curb and look fabulous always. If you run into him in your circle be cool, calm, formal with a hand-shake , a smile and move on -turning your back to him- to hold conversations with other people. Don't be mad or angry - just dismiss foolishness. Take no phone calls.
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01-15-2012, 08:31 PM
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270 posts, read 379,090 times
Reputation: 90
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He has alot of personal issues. 2 baby mamas -2 children with one 1 with the other and he says he has alot of baby mama drama. Hes always complaining about how he's being spread too thin and how he feels like there's only one of him and when is he going to have time for himself aside from being asleep or dead. But none of that has anything to do with our "friendship". It just seems like there's always something. I know everyone has their own life and personal issues but its too much. He seems to be an ok person but its very frustrating and emotionally taxing. And he does resort to girlie tactics---only texting, silent treatments its just so confusing and taxing.
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01-15-2012, 08:38 PM
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Location: Florida
2,289 posts, read 5,569,374 times
Reputation: 5273
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Why bother with him and all his issues...too many others out there....
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01-15-2012, 08:39 PM
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Location: The Present
2,017 posts, read 4,145,398 times
Reputation: 1981
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why are you so worried? I'm under the assumption that your a grown adult, If you can't ignore the obvious red flags then it's all on you.
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