Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
She is happy at home, but I think it's importnant to have 2 incomes in home, specially for kids college expenses, it's very difficult to survive on 1 income
And that would be what is called an opinion. There are many families that have one parent chose to stay at home. I would argue that some of those families are actually able to save MORE money that way. Besides, we don't know the OP's financial situation - and he stated that he is happy with his wife staying home with the children.
I do agree saving for college is a very important thing, and there is no reason that a single income family isn't able to do so. Often, two income families basically spend the 2nd income maintaining their choice to work. Eating meals out because they are too busy to cook, babysitting, gas, work clothing etc. However, that too is someone's personal choice. Some families have decided that works best for them.
So back to the question at hand I would like to answer the OP's question from the perspective of the wife.
I don't know your wife, but I would never take to my husband telling me I should do anything. I just don't react well if he decides something is for my good! (Even if he is right...) I chose to stay home with my kids (and don't keep the house perfect!) and I am very happy I did. However, I needed to find a social outlet, even though it was difficult for me at first. I was not confident and depressed, but I had to do it. It wasn't easy - but it was my decision. I would suggest trying to offer watching the kids so she can have a spa day, or even grocery shop alone! If she has been playing this "role" for 5 years now, she may struggle to step out of it. That will get her used to being away from the kids. She may be very happy doing what she is doing - but I do agree with you that SOME social interaction is good. I started out by joining a playgroup through Meetup. She also might decide to be active at your children's school - and there are easy ways to get involved that way. Go with her to the PTA meeting they have at the beginning of the year talking about volunteer opportunities. It's a tricky area, to suggest something without telling her what to do.
Playgroups really might be the best way - she can take the kids with her. Finding those can be tricky, but it's a great start. Neighborhood social groups, Bunco, Book Club, etc. - where she can go at night while you watch the kids are fun as well. I would also offer to go for walks with her in the evening, and you can all meet neighbors while you are out. If she is shy, being with you might help.
And my final suggestions - like others have said. Help around the house. Help with the kids. Spend your Saturdays doing fun things out of the house with her and the kids - so that maybe getting out and doing things will also help break her out of her shell. Exposure is really key here.
My wife is stay at home mom, she is really good at home with Kids, and take cares of entire house. But I want her to step out of house, and learn from the world, but she doesn't like it at all.. She doesn't like making new friends, she just wants to stay at home and take care of kids, I am totally different in this case, I like going out, meeting new people, making friends.
What shall I do ? How do I convince her ? Are their good articiles you can point me to ? I hope she reads and understands something
You don't sound like a man who has his priorities straight. You have small kids at home and a wife who prefers to be with them rather than out and about like a single person with no kids. I think you need to get on her page and focus on being a FATHER, not a neglected husband. It is NOT about you. It's about the kids. Your wife sounds like she's far more mature and understands this.
What is more important than spending as much time as you possibly can with your young kids? They are far more important than meeting new people, making friends. They are only young ONCE, don't waste this time thinking that the "grass is greener." "Meeting new people, making new friends" is an entirely meaningless, superficial endeavor compared to spending quality time with your kids. Remember, that quality time with your kids is a product of QUANTITY of time you spend with them, as many of the most precious, fulfilling, enriching moments come at unexpected times over the most minute of matters. Your wife sounds like a beautiful, loving, devoted mother, whose priorities are where they should be: at home with her family.
To those young kids, you are THEIR world. If you want to explore, do that with your kids and wife. Be a devoted father and family man, not a neglected husband screaming for attention, longing for the days when you had fewer responsibilities and no kids. Kids change everything. I'm with your wife here.
My wife is stay at home mom, she is really good at home with Kids, and take cares of entire house. But I want her to step out of house, and learn from the world, but she doesn't like it at all.. She doesn't like making new friends, she just wants to stay at home and take care of kids, I am totally different in this case, I like going out, meeting new people, making friends.
What shall I do ? How do I convince her ? Are their good articiles you can point me to ? I hope she reads and understands something
Don't push her too much, but maybe if you could point out to her that it would also be good for the kids, she might be more interested.
My apologies to the OP. My first response didn't give you much consideration, taking your wife's side entirely. I understand your point.
I don't know that you can or should try to force your wife to change. She will in time, since she once liked to get out and do things. Small kids have a way of changing things. You're going to have to be patient, and find your own outlets when you can, even if it means bringing the kids along. This appears to be the only way that your wife is going to come along IMO.
I think it's also good to get out by yourself and explore anyway. We all need time alone. Even your wife.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You're a dad; not a neglected husband
