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How common is this, does anyone know? I've heard it's really common, but I've never run into it.
Ruth, I have far more corporate experience than I would prefer and I've found that world to be invariably filled with fixers, dealers and manipulators none of whom are above bullying tactics. Fortunately, bullies rarely escape their own habitual behaviors without a few skeletons in their closets. Unearth 'em and fight fire with fire, I say.
There's been some good comments on "friends and family" that are bullies. I can't stress enough the value of removing toxic relationships from one's life.
As for characters that want to escalate things to the level of physical violence, just buy some nail polish remover and petroleum jelly and find a rancher with a coyote problem.
For workplace bullies, the managers are accountable for their toxic environments. They need to keep abreast of the dynamics of their places. But, a lot of them are the actual cause of the toxicity. Maybe just a re-enactment of their own childhood dynamics. Really pitiful when that happens. They can teach you anything in school, get your MA, your PhD, but can't teach people how to get along and be respectful to each other.
For workplace bullies, the managers are accountable for their toxic environments. They need to keep abreast of the dynamics of their places. But, a lot of them are the actual cause of the toxicity. Maybe just a re-enactment of their own childhood dynamics. Really pitiful when that happens. They can teach you anything in school, get your MA, your PhD, but can't teach people how to get along and be respectful to each other.
This!
Wow, you described my toxic work experience to a 'T'. My manager was the Queen of Manipulation who was solely responsible for a putrid, mean-spirited, toxic environment that affected many that crossed her path. A career killing, life changing experience.
We often wondered if and why senior management was scared of her.
At 72yrs of age she is still in the Agency and still doing her dirt. One can only hope/pray that at some point a higher being steps in and she FINALLY pays the consequences of her destructive behavior.
Hello!
Does anyone have to deal with adult bullies on a regular basis - family/workplace/friends? How did you stop them? I have tried to read some articles online but they give very 'generic' advice like tell your manager/hr or be assertive. I have tried & it hasn't worked.
I wanted to read some real-life experiences & how you dealt with them? There is not much that people can do to help you stand up to a bully, even at workplace where they get away with - "I was just joking or you are too sensitive" excuses. I should have learnt to deal with bullies in school but I let it slide thinking people grow up but apparently some of them never do.
Also, is there any good book about it that I can read to address these problems?
PLEASE SHARE your experiences.
I deal with them everyday. They are everywhere. This comes with being an easy target. Some of the easier targets for adult bullies are people working retail. Especially the lower ladder cashiers. But the easiest target and group that has to deal with the most bullies, The Homeless. (I've been one of them, and let me tell you, it's open season).
The thing about adult bullies is that they know what they can get away with. They pick on someone whom they know has the least advantage. In the case of the homeless, you can do anything to them and face no repercussions. If you are homeless, you are automatically public enemy number 1.
Dealing with adult bullies is a little different than dealing with school bullies. They attack you in different ways. The best thing to do is to know your rights. When you demonstrate knowledge of your personal rights, they tend to run away like you have a gun. Knowledge is power.
No way another grown person should not let another grown person bully, talk down, whatever....I mean you control your own destiny with people.
And what exactly are we supposed to do hit them back? Besides why don't you address the bullies instead of the bullied? They are the one causing the problems.
No way another grown person should not let another grown person bully, talk down, whatever....I mean you control your own destiny with people.
what kind of cliched perfect world crap is this , " we control our own destiny with people "
did the victims of the gun totting joker have control over their own destiny in that movie theatre ? ,while i know that is a different circumstance , your statement was general and broad brush
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Adult Bullies
