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I Will admit that I am too negative in my thoughts sometimes. I don't try to figure out why I am that way but I think it goes back to my childhood years and being among negative people(and often a victim of negative people). Anyway, it is like its automatic that negative thoughts pop into my mind. So why not positive thoughts. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with negative thoughts. Again, why can't they be positive. I think we all deal with that to some degree but I would sure like to break the habit or whatever you want to call it. I thought of writing positive ideas on note cards and then when I wake up read one and deal with that inside my head. But those kind of things usually don't last long and then its back to the same old thing. Maybe it just takes good old discipline to change it. Anyone have to deal with this problem?
Maybe it's a matter of degree. If your negative thoughts are causing you distress--and it seems like they are--then yes, try to change your thought patterns.
Two things help me when my brain wants to get into a negative groove:
1. Music that is positive, yet thoughtful, something that offers some kind of encouragement or ends in some kind of triumph. In other words, not something bouncy-happy, like the Beach Boys (much as I love them), because that can actually be irritating when I'm feeling grousy, but something calming. Sometimes I listen to mantras. I have no idea what they mean, but they sound nice.
2. I'll work on some kind of puzzle--cryptogram, sudoku, a casual adventure game on the computer (no shoot 'em ups, but something like a mystery with hidden objects and different puzzles in it)--something that requires me to focus and concentrate. And if things are really cluttering my brain up, I'll put on the music on a headset that blocks out other sound and do a good old-fashioned jigsaw puzzle on my dining table.
It's a lot of work and maybe the impulsive negative thoughts will always pop up first but you can deliberately decide to shut them down and replace them with better alternatives.
If it helps to visualize it, picture in your mind, holding up a big red STOP sign and then giving yourself a big green Go light for something more optimistic and positive.
Much like an alcoholic whose reaction to seeing a bottle of his favorite Scotch may be to want a drink, he has to remind himself of all the more positive reasons why he won't choose that option.
Eventually, that practice may become enough of a habit so it happens so automatically as to overcome the ingrained.
Sometimes this type of mental readjustment is referred to as "Fake it until you make it"
I think certain people are just wired that way. Some are negative while some are positive. There's not much that can change that. Its part of their personality.
A major goal in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is teaching the person to replace persistent automatic negative thoughts with positive ones. However, in order to actually "work" with regard to reducing anxiety or depression, the positive thoughts need to be realistic. Your brain will not buy a lie. (For example, if your automatic thought it "I'm hideous" and you try to replace that with "I'm beautiful" it might not really be effective if your appearance is in reality, not so "beautiful." Instead a better positive affirmation might be "Appearance-wise, I might fall right in the middle of the bell curve, but it's how I treat others that's most important" or "I'm beautiful on the inside and when I believe that, it shows on the outside.")
If you don't want to or need to go to therapy for CBT, try a good CBT based self help book, like The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns.
The "secret" is repetition, practice, and feeling good about what you accomplish. You can't just wave some magic wand and suddenly have positive thoughts.
So funny...I counseled a 51 yr old (lost little boy mentality) friend...
So filled with negativity that turns to anger, cynicism and sarcasm....yet,
is the sweetest soul...just tortured.
He finally reached to me last Friday, after 27 years seeing that I am consistently
happy and everything goes my way.
1. Short version...I explained that we DO have control of our thoughts, period.
2. He must watch them, recognize the negative thinking, first.
3. Then, immediately change the thought.
Monday at work he wrote me....he said. He caught himself
saying, "Je*us,THAT SUCKS!"
and changed it to..."Well, it wouldn't be so hard to fix that..."
I called him my pride and joy, my little savant!
When we 'think' that we don't have any control of our own thoughts
(that govern our emotions)....that is the first mistake.
We can make new patterns or habits of thinking, it is not hard*, we
just have to notice what we don't want any longer.
Then, we are on auto pilot, thinking positively...changing our perspective...
in the least, to Conflict Resolution. (Baby steps...)
It is the beginning of discovering our power...sky's the limit after that!
I also gave him the book ..."The Game of Life and How to Play it" by
Florence Scovel-Shinn, 1925
For $10 he bought everything online by her the next day!
*Thinking something is hard or a lot of work is an example of a negative thought...a self defeating, stupid, useless thought.
Instead say, "I can do this...piece o' cake! I will notice and
counter any neg thoughts with a great thought! Yeah!"
The old locker room pep talk!
Good, for you, nickerman, for being so honest and reaching out.
It says a lot about you! xxoo
My secret to being happy and positive is my faith in my savior Jesus Christ, who has forgiven me all my sins, blessed my life in many ways, and promised eternal life to me with him in heaven. Otherwise, I can see no reason for a person to be positive about the future. Everything you work for will be taken from you. You have no future but death. But in Christ, there is life eternal.
My secret to being happy and positive is my faith in my savior Jesus Christ, who has forgiven me all my sins, blessed my life in many ways, and promised eternal life to me with him in heaven.
Otherwise, I can see no reason for a person to be positive about the future.
Everything you work for will be taken from you.
You have no future but death. But in Christ, there is life eternal.
That's nice, augie, really.
But, remember this wasn't posted in the Christian section.
Maybe it doesn't matter, but this so easily could turn 'religious'...
Besides that, to a depressed person eternal life is the last thing they want.
(Not saying the op is depressed...but many reading this particular thread are ...
and all they will do is roll their eyes and be pushed further away from the exact
thing you are promoting!)
"Just another person pushing death and fear if I don't accept Jesus."
(You don't see that?)
Anyone, tell me if I am wrong and outta line in the psyche area to be saying this and I'll stop.
I think it is great, augie you found Jesus, btw, now learn when it is the right
time and place, that's all I am saying.
I wish you only peace.
All humans feel both positive and negative all the time. Don't make more of it than it is. I think we have to accept our negative and positive thoughts/feelings because eventually they will change into something else, they always do, just accept what you feel at the moment. You don't have to kick someone in the head when you're negative, but just feel it and it changes to something else.
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