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It's not easy to be the so-called "black sheep" in a family. (Or viewed as a "traitor" on "Benedict Arnold" etc.)...Some kids grow-up knowing that it would be dangerous and a "big sin" to question any of their parents and familys' beliefs. (Religious or political beliefs, customs, traditions, lifestyle etc.)...Stepping out of the "fold" or "flock" just seems too risky for some kids or adults..And then again some kids don't feel motivated to question much. They view their parents as "reliable sources" and "experts" about all facets of life...I was a big time "questioner" when I was young. I questioned my parents and aunts and uncles and teachers and even my friends' parents. I tried to show respect for others when I asked questions. I didn't want to be "bratty" or "cocky!" But I did feel entitled to ask adults questions when I was younger. This made me different from most of my friends because they were afraid to "say much" or ask questions. (Afraid of getting "yelled at" or punished.)
It's not easy to be the so-called "black sheep" in a family. (Or viewed as a "traitor" on "Benedict Arnold" etc.)...Some kids grow-up knowing that it would be dangerous and a "big sin" to question any of their parents and familys' beliefs. (Religious or political beliefs, customs, traditions, lifestyle etc.)...Stepping out of the "fold" or "flock" just seems too risky for some kids or adults..And then again some kids don't feel motivated to question much. They view their parents as "reliable sources" and "experts" about all facets of life...I was a big time "questioner" when I was young. I questioned my parents and aunts and uncles and teachers and even my friends' parents. I tried to show respect for others when I asked questions. I didn't want to be "bratty" or "cocky!" But I did feel entitled to ask adults questions when I was younger. This made me different from most of my friends because they were afraid to "say much" or ask questions. (Afraid of getting "yelled at" or punished.)
Yep, people are afraid to stick out too much, being a social species we required to toe the line in order for the protection the group offered.
Since you recognize such specific types, maybe you could learn how to deal with each type very well and become a master of puppets.
I think Mokan hit the nail on the head in that the true value of any classification system is its ability to help you understand the world. So let's say you think everyone is the same. Does it help you accurately predict their behavior such that you can tailor your actions to get what you want? Or does it simply make you feel jaded and give up on people because you think they will all react the same way and against your wishes? If it is the latter, I suggest you come up with a different system that is actually useful for something.
I think Mokan hit the nail on the head in that the true value of any classification system is its ability to help you understand the world. So let's say you think everyone is the same. Does it help you accurately predict their behavior such that you can tailor your actions to get what you want? Or does it simply make you feel jaded and give up on people because you think they will all react the same way and against your wishes? If it is the latter, I suggest you come up with a different system that is actually useful for something.
Taking the former route would likely make me feel more jaded than the latter (and that latter route isn't all that far from how I feel now, but some of that is situational and can/will be remedied in the near future). Anyway, I think your post is quite cynical regardless of the "path to action/inaction" that one takes...cynical, but I can't say it's inaccurate.
I just think there's more integrity in "giving up on people" (and leaving them to their own devices) than there is in subtly manipulating them as you are all-but-advocating. Ultimately it's a matter of opinion, but
Independent thinkers tend to be more individualistic than others, and I consider myself one. I define independent thinking as having a wholly objective and detached perspective of something from what we're brought up to believe.
I can however understand that people tend to see themselves as unique, personal and like no others, it's called having a consciousness. Your own consciousness is possibly the only real thing that cannot be questioned, because the existence of everything else can only be perceivable through the existence of one (consciousness).
In my opinon, the belief about being unique is a cultural one. US and other western countries are individualistic whereas China and India are collectivistic. Between those two cultural orientations there are big differences in the way people define their self.
(From a science paper)
Collectivist cultures have a holistic view of the world, and
the self is thought to be of the same substance as other things in nature, and cannot
be separated from the rest of nature (Galtung, 1981). Therefore, the relationship
between the self and other people or elements in nature is much closer, and people
feel much interdependence. On the other hand, individualist cultures usually hold a
Cartesian worldview, in which the self is independent of other elements of nature,
people, and situations (Markus & Kitayama, 1991). An individualistic person,
therefore, takes more control over elements of nature or situations around himself or
herself, and feels more responsible for his or her behaviors.
When individualists think of themselves and others, they
are clear that their self only includes themselves } ``This is me, but that is not me.
My mother is not a part of me. My child is not a part of me. They are separate from
me''. There is no overlap between their selves and others. In other words, their view
of themselves is digital. On the other hand, when collectivists think of people in their
family (e.g., parents, spouse, children, siblings, and so forth), they feel these people
are a part of their selves. For example, one's thinking may proceed like this: ``My
father is a part of me, not completely me, but somewhat a part of me. My child is a
bigger part of me compared to my father, not completely me, but, yes, a good part of
me; and so forth''. The same feeling holds in case of other relatives, and even friends.
"uniqueness" makes sense here but would probably welcomed with laughter in collectivistic countries.
Anyway, do you think it's true that we over-value our individuality? Mostly, we're just told what to think and we don't TRULY take a look at what we think, or the values and assumptions we hold, and question them.
Quote:
Also, how truly individual do you see yourself?
No one can be totally "individualistic" in their thoughts, behaviors, beliefs, and language. That's just impossible.
I cede to most things spiritual (metaphysical) and moral to the Holy Mother Catholic Church (or the Orthodox Churches as I regard them as catholic too--as they have apostolic succession). Do not understand that to mean I'm a saint. Few are canonized saints in the Church. And I claim more of what AA states: progress rather than perfection. I'm a sinner.
That said... my life experiences have allowed me a greater degree of individuality to form than the typical American, or American male.
Easy example:
If I loved a woman, if it would please her to see me sodomized by another man, I would be inclined to do so in her presence. Love is tested by sacrifice, and trust.
But I've been sodomized through or over crack cocaine before. So, do I love crack or gay men more than my wife when she requests I extend to her what I did to crack and 1 gay man?
I'm called to obey my Lord God too. So, that creates cognitive dissonance problems, but for the love of my wife I would sacrifice likely, at least for one occasion to prove my devotion, and to see her pleased.
So, I know I'm different than the typical American male. Yes.
No one can be totally "individualistic" in their thoughts, behaviors, beliefs, and language. That's just impossible.
I cede to most things spiritual (metaphysical) and moral to the Holy Mother Catholic Church (or the Orthodox Churches as I regard them as catholic too--as they have apostolic succession). Do not understand that to mean I'm a saint. Few are canonized saints in the Church. And I claim more of what AA states: progress rather than perfection. I'm a sinner.
That said... my life experiences have allowed me a greater degree of individuality to form than the typical American, or American male.
Easy example:
If I loved a woman, if it would please her to see me sodomized by another man, I would be inclined to do so in her presence. Love is tested by sacrifice, and trust.
But I've been sodomized through or over crack cocaine before. So, do I love crack or gay men more than my wife when she requests I extend to her what I did to crack and 1 gay man?
I'm called to obey my Lord God too. So, that creates cognitive dissonance problems, but for the love of my wife I would sacrifice likely, at least for one occasion to prove my devotion, and to see her pleased.
So, I know I'm different than the typical American male. Yes.
Wow. Yeah, I bet you are .
I would probably first talk to her to understand where her desire comes from..because it is my individual desire against hers. She should also respect my boundaries and consider that this request may go wayyy to far.
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