Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've felt that it was introverts who jealousy targeted happy-go-lucky social butterflies for ostracism and slander (usually committed secretly and discreetly behind closed doors). At least I've experienced that.
trying to learn more about a friend that told me he is an introvert
I dont know if there is an answer to what I am looking for but here we go. I am a female who has made a great friend with a man who just recently informed me he is an introvert. Which answered a lot of my questions right there. He is a great person love to talk to him and listen to what he has to say, yet sometimes I dont get him which hay is the same with alot. We took it to the next level and are together now not dating but together and well I guess I want to know is are introverts honest people. For example he told me I was a great person but we r strictly friends and that I can be over barring sometimes. He quickly said he was joking and really doesnt feel that way about me. Then two days later he is hitting on me and we well u know.. He will say stuff like Ur annoying me and I will say ok and he will send jk. I told him there is always some truth behind just kiddings and he replied not my vocab there isnt. I guess I just want to know if he is being truthful and then feels bad becuse it seems harsh or how to read the situation because he is great and worth understanding!! Any help would be great thanks
yes, people do look down upon introverts. It's seen as a weakness and makes you a target for bullying. Just imagine if you work at a job where everyone congregates every in the breakroom to socialize and you are the ONLY one who doesn't join, that is going to make you look 'odd', and cause your co-workers to turn against you.
How does this affect an IT geek who makes $85K (geekiness and income hypothetical) who lives a fulfilling life and always has? He or she is not cowering from anyone and does not feel oppressed. If that person was trying to be an investment banker, however, then I'd say they'd have a problem on their hands.
You are setting up a distinction which isn't the one I was making. My division wasn't jocks/geeks, it was aggressive/passive. There are aggressive geeks and passive jocks.
I'm speaking of pathology of personality, not divisions of success/non success in life. The aggressive people set the agenda because the passive people by and large are willing to accept the status quo rather than rock the boat.
An example of what I mean might be this: You go to a ballgame with three friends and throughout the game there is a fan in front of you who is behaving poorly, standing up constantly blocking views, shrieking foul language at concert pitch, letting his kids run wild and annoy the crap out of everyone around them..that sort of stuff, we have all experienced it.
Now, the offending fan may be classed as an aggressive personality and your entire game experience is going to be shaped by his or her behavior because that fan will have forced your attention to be moved from the game to the bad behavior.
Further, if in your group of four, there is another aggressive personality, he or she is likely to challenge or scold the offending fan and this will launch a mini war between your group and the bad fan's group...and this will shape your entire ballgame experience, perhaps to the point of eviction if it gets too far out of hand.
If your goal had been to attend and enjoy a baseball game, that has now been severely modified by the aggressive personalities...they have set the agenda and overwhelmed your planned peaceful afternoon. There is nothing the passive person can do to get back that peaceful agenda without having to employ an aggressive agenda of his own, the passive agenda is off the table.
That is what I meant...in all waks of life, the person who wishes to get through experiences with the least amount of conflict or hostility, is always going to be subject to being frustrated by the person who doesn't mind conflict, or enjoys hostile confrontations.
I dont know if there is an answer to what I am looking for but here we go. I am a female who has made a great friend with a man who just recently informed me he is an introvert. Which answered a lot of my questions right there. He is a great person love to talk to him and listen to what he has to say, yet sometimes I dont get him which hay is the same with alot. We took it to the next level and are together now not dating but together and well I guess I want to know is are introverts honest people. For example he told me I was a great person but we r strictly friends and that I can be over barring sometimes. He quickly said he was joking and really doesnt feel that way about me. Then two days later he is hitting on me and we well u know.. He will say stuff like Ur annoying me and I will say ok and he will send jk. I told him there is always some truth behind just kiddings and he replied not my vocab there isnt. I guess I just want to know if he is being truthful and then feels bad becuse it seems harsh or how to read the situation because he is great and worth understanding!! Any help would be great thanks
Introverts are very *private* people. He may feel an attraction to you, but just the same he would have to let you in. Maybe he's sitting on the fence with that. Maybe he just does 'get' your either. For me to let someone in it takes a slow careful journey. I have to be sure its right before I'll open that door. It sounds to me like he likes you, respects you, but is not ready to share himself yet.
I have a very good friend I met online, and we talked for a year on the phone and online before we met. He lives in another state and we had a wonderful vacation together. I really really wish he wanted more than to be really good friends, but that is what he feels. I'd like more but you need two to go there. Both of us are private people, and we're very good friends, but know not to intrude where not asked to go. I value the friendship too much to endanger it with that next step.
Be honest with him. Tell him you are confused. Don't be confrontational, but friend to friend. Don't push to take things where they aren't ready to go. And he's a guy. Sex to a guy can just be sex. (as it can to a female). If he thinks you are annoying him, then don't push. Maybe you weren't ready for that 'next step' and need to backtrack a little.
The central part of a relationship is communications. You don't sound like much of an introvert so you see the world differently, but may come on a pushy to him. Just as what may be attempts to get you to back off but put very nicely may come off as suspicious to you. Be straighforward. Ask if he's feeling pushed. And be honest that you don't know what to think. Set it straight and then decide if there is a 'next level' there for the two of you.
Sometimes a really great friend is worth than that next step too.
I think that most societies value strength and despise weakness, and introverts are more likely to appear weak, because they aren't out there trying to exert their wills on others. But look at one of the classic American icons: the lone, strong, silent hero who just wants to be left alone, but who stands up for what's right when pushed to the limit. Is there anyone more introverted than the classic Clint Eastwood movie hero? This archetype translates into other cultures, as well. Society also values introverts who have achieved success: Stanley Kubrick, J.D Salinger, etc. There's an aura of mystery about them. But I do think that Americans in general find extraverts more interesting. I'm an introvert, and I like extraverts, even though they eventually wear me out and I need to recharge my batteries.
yes, people do look down upon introverts. It's seen as a weakness and makes you a target for bullying. Just imagine if you work at a job where everyone congregates every in the breakroom to socialize and you are the ONLY one who doesn't join, that is going to make you look 'odd', and cause your co-workers to turn against you.
True.
But I will never understand why people just can't leave other people alone. If someone doesn't want to join you so be it. Extroverts act as if they have a right to force their will upon others.
But I will never understand why people just can't leave other people alone. If someone doesn't want to join you so be it. Extroverts act as if they have a right to force their will upon others.
IMO, it's human nature to pick on those that you think are below you on the totem pole. That's why kids gang up on one another like they do. They see these certain traits in a person and then attack them for it. Others join in. People have a very hard time standing alone.
IMO, it's human nature to pick on those that you think are below you on the totem pole. That's why kids gang up on one another like they do. They see these certain traits in a person and then attack them for it. Others join in. People have a very hard time standing alone.
Understand. I'm human and have never felt compelled to pick on those who I thought were below me. Those who I think are below me don't deserve my time or attention. Maybe it has more to do with the self esteem of the extrovert (aggressive one) not the introvert.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
trying to learn more about a friend that told me he is an introvert
