Did your life turn out the way you thought it would?
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No, I thought I'd be married. I thought I'd be more secure financially. But I'm ok with it. I've seen friends go through bad marriages and alone isn't so bad. I have good friends and extended family members, so I'm not lonely, even if I'm alone. Making ends meet can be a challenge, but I like my job for the most part. I have the basics I need
My life isn't as good as some other people's, but it's better than what some folks are dealing with. I've got a pretty good life.
I am 39 but that seems close enough to 40 so I am going to answer it.......
Its yes and no but I went with no in the poll.
First the yes.
I like where I live and my job and my education as I have a masters. I have seen the world and have done a lot of the things I wanted to do and continue to do. In that aspect I am honestly living the "American Dream".
Now the reason I said no.
It is one main reason as there is one glaring aspect of my life that I am missing. Someone to share all this with. Sure I have a great family and friends but no boyfriend and I really thought I would of had one by now. I have come close but it never seems to work out and that has me really depressed. Yes I know I should not let this part drag me down but its hard for me to really fall in love only to have it not work out.
I wanted to update this. It is now a more yes then no as I found someone who respects me and is fun to be around. So I have someone to share my life with. I am not sure he and I will officially date but as of now I am happy the way things are going.
On the superficial side. He and I was watching Avengers last night and in one scene they showed a party with all the nice and exclusive cars taking the guests there. I was like look at the Mercedes 500 ML as its exactly like my car (it has been my dream car that I finally got) and he was like ya that it shows what kind of car you drive if they have it in a scene like this. My point is right now my life is going in the right direction and I hope it continues.
I always wanted to marry the love of my life, have children, a happy home and a fulfilling career. I haven't had any of those things-- yet. The love of my life didn't want to marry me because he couldn't offer me stability with his career choice (a freelance journalist who never stays in one place for more than 6 mos). At the age of 53, he's never married because of that. I wound up marrying a man who said he loved me, but it turns out he only loved my money. The marriage failed, and left me almost penniless.
It's hard working to build my life back up again at 51. My job is unfulfilling and tedious, but I keep at it because it pays the bills.
I have good friends, and I'm grateful for that. But it's not the same as having a family of your own that you feel connected to. A decade and a half of losses and disappointments has taken a big toll on me. My naturally upbeat personality has been sagging lately.
Despite doing all the "right things" like completing my education, getting a career, behaving responsibly, treating other people well, I feel like life has been really beaten me up.
Maybe what we should be teaching the young is not to expect too much from life In my day i don't think we thought about it too much, i suppose i have had it good compared to some people but i have had tragedy and loss. Now in my later years i wonder what it was all about.
I will tell you this much, 90% of the happiness in your life, is based on who you marry, this is not a decision to make in haste.
What about us single people out here, does this mean we will never be happy unless we find someone to marry? I get what you're saying because that is your experience, but there are lots of us who are single, widowed, or divorced and the 90% portion of your comment is depressing to me if I actually started to beleive that was the key to my own happiness.
In my 20s and 30s my career was turning out as good or better than expected. I had many wonderful experiences in that area. My personal life was more mixed. I could write a book about it, the good and the bad.
Now I'm in my 40s and at this point and time I can say life is worse than I expected it to be in every aspect. I was starting to give details but it was too long. Anyway I'm not really depressed or unhappy, I just feel like this portion of my life is a waste. I have faith that things will get better and thankfully little things can still make me happy. I haven't become jaded even if it would have been so easy to become that way.
It's kind of comforting to see how life didn't turn out as expected for the vast majority who answered this poll. I don't feel so alone. I guess that's the way it's meant to be or it wouldn't be so common to feel that way.
I've avoided participating until now, had to think a bit.
At 58 I am surprised I'm still alive considering some of the dumb things I've done, and a few things I still do. Have had people ask me over the years if I really have no physical fear or am just stupid.
If you'd told me at 19 (when I started college), considering how I disliked high school, that my career starting at 30 would be teaching I would have laughed at you. As I say to my students "I'm 58 and still in high school so you need to graduate on time.".
I didn't realize how much joy, and frustration, my kids would give me.
My failures have been spectacular and have driven me for years. One of them took years to snap out of the mental funk it created.
By most measures I'm successful in both career and personal areas (I've been elected to public office 5 times) but upon reflection there are still blank spots that I can't quite get a handle on. I've never been very self-reflective but I've recently started to have a friend challenge me and make me look inward and there are doors I have decided need to stay closed.
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