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For some reason, I seem to be drawn to men who are either depressed, suicidal or have suffered a loss. Their helplessness, tears and/or pain pulls me in, and I find myself wanting to rescue them. I've even fallen more in love during a crisis. It's baffling.
For some reason, I seem to be drawn to men who are either depressed, suicidal or have suffered a loss. Their helplessness, tears and/or pain pulls me in, and I find myself wanting to rescue them. I've even fallen more in love during a crisis. It's baffling.
I'm sorry, what's the baffling part? You're drawn to them because you want to rescue them--you said so yourself. Where's the mystery here?
Mia25, That's not love or infatuation. Often times women drawn to toxic men usually aid and/or assist in their complete destruction up and including death. My mother used to love to spend time with people who were dying. I accused her of accelerating their deaths in her pursuit to become a female undertaker. She stopped caring for or spending time with the dying when she said she met the angel of death. All of friends around her started dying, she said it was as if all her guardian angles had their wings clipped. Her brother died prematurely of cancer and her father died at a young age of a massive heart attack.
It's been my experience that Leo's cause the most problems on this earth. That is only if you believe in astrology.
I'm a Virgo who thought she could "fix" a Leo! It all makes sense now!
I don't really believe in astrology but I like how coincidences can happen with it. And for the record I wasn't intending to "fix" the guy but ultimately that's how one would describe the situation. I never acted on it but I thought if I were able to show my love for him that I could change him. haha!
I would recommend that you read Lillian Glass' books on Toxic People, if you have not already. You may start with TOXIC MEN. Her books contain some great insights and may steer you into the direction you need to take care of yourself first.
As for your original question, I like to use the analogy of a black hole. Toxic people are like black holes. A Black hole is an object in space that sucks in everything , even light. Nothing can escape the pull of a black hoe and once drawn in, nothing can escape.
Toxic people suck in everyone around them, (like magnets yes) They want to drag everyone else into their own personal hell. Some people I have observed are not happy in life unless they can make everyone around them more unhappy than they are. They want others to suffer, to be miserable, and the only happiness they have in life is the comparative "At leat I am not as bad off as you" Which they can attain ONLY by destroying the happiness of those around them.
The best advice we have for dealing with black holes is just don;t get close to one.
The best advice for toxic people is to recognize them and the games they play and simply do not play along. If they want to play, let them find someone else to play with, or play alone, which is how most of them will otherwise finnish anyway.
I would recommend that you read Lillian Glass' books on Toxic People, if you have not already. You may start with TOXIC MEN. Her books contain some great insights and may steer you into the direction you need to take care of yourself first.
As for your original question, I like to use the analogy of a black hole. Toxic people are like black holes. A Black hole is an object in space that sucks in everything , even light. Nothing can escape the pull of a black hoe and once drawn in, nothing can escape.
Toxic people suck in everyone around them, (like magnets yes) They want to drag everyone else into their own personal hell. Some people I have observed are not happy in life unless they can make everyone around them more unhappy than they are. They want others to suffer, to be miserable, and the only happiness they have in life is the comparative "At leat I am not as bad off as you" Which they can attain ONLY by destroying the happiness of those around them.
The best advice we have for dealing with black holes is just don;t get close to one.
The best advice for toxic people is to recognize them and the games they play and simply do not play along. If they want to play, let them find someone else to play with, or play alone, which is how most of them will otherwise finnish anyway.
Kudos! Well said. Misery loves company thats why they spread it around.
As for the topic starter; I'd say look at your life. What are you not forfilling that leaves only room to rescue someone in "worse" shape?
I mean, it's nice to be able to help someone when they are down. We've all been there at some time. BUT, it is not your job to fix all the broken men that come across your path. Sorry, if I sound too harsh. If I knew you I'd be a lot louder probably about it. I guess that's why I don't have many friends
For some reason, I seem to be drawn to men who are either depressed, suicidal or have suffered a loss. Their helplessness, tears and/or pain pulls me in, and I find myself wanting to rescue them. I've even fallen more in love during a crisis. It's baffling.
You're a rescuer. You have a need to be needed and get meaning from helping people. You can resolve it through therapy, it's a well-known type.
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