Why some may become angry at others difference of opinion? (men, abusive)

[bofspringfield]

As men grow older, their opinions, like their diseases, grow chronic.- Josh Billings

Opinion: a belief of conclusion held with confidence but not substantiated by positive knowledge. opinion - definition of opinion by the Free Online Dictionary, Thesaurus and Encyclopedia.

One of the reasons, why some may become angry at someone else's difference of opinion, may go back to an experience they may have suffered through when they shared their values and truth and they were crushed and/or ignored. Some have were even punished for sharing their values and opinions. Creating aggressive adults. As adults, they become stuck in a time lapse, their unconscious mind remembers what occurred occurred when in the past they shared their opinions and how it brought conflict. People, who become overly aggressive are just gearing themselves up to defend their truth. Some may even become abusive as their attempting to deflect away and throw you off topic. Fighting and Arguing – Finding common ground with a partner, friends and family

I dealt with this, this weekend. I was wondering why my nephew, was acting defensively, before he vocalised his opinion.

[CArizona]

Good topic. Thanks...Some people definitely become militant or radical when it comes to their beliefs in life. They seem to adopt a "do or die" stance. (You are either "with me" or "against me" type of stance.)..It's spooky! Any little thing can set them off!.. Obviously they have wrapped their entire "being" and identity around their beliefs. So if they encounter someone who doesn't agree with them they take it personally and go into the "attack" and "defend" mode...In their minds they must feel that they are being called "stupid" or ?? (When this isn't always or usually the case.)...People who are a little more sane and rational (and secure) take it for granted that the world is full of diverse beliefs and views and opinions. They don't expect everyone to agree with them or "mirror" their beliefs.

[iknowftbll]

Originally Posted by CArizona

Good topic. Thanks...Some people definitely become militant or radical when it comes to their beliefs in life. They seem to adopt a "do or die" stance. (You are either "with me" or "against me" type of stance.)..It's spooky! Any little thing can set them off!.. Obviously they have wrapped their entire "being" and identity around their beliefs. So if they encounter someone who doesn't agree with them they take it personally and go into the "attack" and "defend" mode...In their minds they must feel that they are being called "stupid" or ?? (When this isn't always or usually the case.)...People who are a little more sane and rational (and secure) take it for granted that the world is full of diverse beliefs and views and opinions. They don't expect everyone to agree with them or "mirror" their beliefs.

You can find a lot of those types over on the politics and other controversies forum. On both sides of an issue.

[CArizona]

iknowftbl...I agree. We definitely have a lot of "my way or the highway" type of people battling things out today! Sad!

[Trimac20]

Yeah some people refuse or cannot see other points of views to their own. Even if I disagree vehemently, I can usually see why they think the way they do. And when I do I tend to become a lot less angry at them, because I can imagine myself in their situation. Maybe that's why I often am not that angered by dishonesty if it doesn't seem to hurt anyone (although I'm really against it in principle), since I can understand how it's caused by fear and stuff, so I'm more understanding of it. I'm more concerned with allowing them to space to feel safe so they can express their opinions honestly without fear, instead of either condemning them for telling the truth or condemning them for lying as some do.

[theluckygal]

Originally Posted by bofspringfield

As men grow older, their opinions, like their diseases, grow chronic.- Josh Billings

Great topic!! I am going through a similar phase right now, especially with people much younger or much older than me. Past few years I have grown as a person by traveling & reading books on various topics. Made me aware of a lot of things in life.

I keep forgetting that I made some mistakes & wrong decisions while growing up that the younger people are making right now. They wont listen to me just as I didn't listen to my elder's wisdom. I need to keep my opinions in check & let them grow on their own timing. After all, I turned out to be fine by rebelling, making my own choices & forming opinions. We should let others do the same. Difference of opinions with elders will always be there until we reach that age & maybe understand a lot of things they said had value.

Lot of factors contribute to a person's opinions - parents, upbringing, education, friends, culture, good/bad experiences, movies, music. Unless you share the exact same background as that person, which is impossible, there will be differences of opinions.

[CArizona]

I think a lot of people get caught-up in dogma and "causes." I know I have at various times during my life too. And this can lead to "playing missionary" and trying to "save" the world and everyone in it...People like this can become mad and angry and frustrated when someone doesn't see their "good intentions." It's like: "Shut-up and get with the program! I'm trying to help you and 'save' your life! Can't you see? We're all going to experience 'doomsday' if you and others don't adopt my beliefs!"...This kind of "stuff" definitely plays-out in politics today. The "hard-core faithful" on both sides tend to be a little "touchy" if they run into people who don't agree with them. And they can become "fear mongers" with predictions of "dire consequences." (In order to "convert" people around to their way of thinking!)...Anyone who doesn't agree with them is automatically considered "stupid" and naive. Even worse those who don't agree are accused of contributing to "doomsday" and "destruction" and the supposed end of civilization or ???...When my thinking and my beliefs become this radical and extreme I know something is wrong!...I calmly remind myself that I'm not "god." It's not not my job to "save the world." And the truth is that I don't "know everything!"... I put my "grandiosity" and arrogance aside and try to take a more modest and humble view of my "place" in the scheme of things!...What can I learn from others? How many "new sides" can I see? Can I gather up a few more "pieces" to the "puzzle" that we call life? (Before I'm dead and buried!)

[TJenkins602]

Originally Posted by bofspringfield

As men grow older, their opinions, like their diseases, grow chronic.- Josh Billings

Opinion: a belief of conclusion held with confidence but not substantiated by positive knowledge. opinion - definition of opinion by the Free Online Dictionary, Thesaurus and Encyclopedia.

One of the reasons, why some may become angry at someone else's difference of opinion, may go back to an experience they may have suffered through when they shared their values and truth and they were crushed and/or ignored. Some have were even punished for sharing their values and opinions. Creating aggressive adults. As adults, they become stuck in a time lapse, their unconscious mind remembers what occurred occurred when in the past they shared their opinions and how it brought conflict. People, who become overly aggressive are just gearing themselves up to defend their truth. Some may even become abusive as their attempting to deflect away and throw you off topic. Fighting and Arguing – Finding common ground with a partner, friends and family

I dealt with this, this weekend. I was wondering why my nephew, was acting defensively, before he vocalised his opinion.

Yeah, I agree with that. This is one of the reasons why some people do not like to discuss some topics like religion. Wars are often started on the basis of religion. (Talk about spooky). I personally am uncomfortable with talking about my beliefs (Christian). However, if someone brings the subject up, I'll gladly talk about it. Just remember, I can be a mocker, LOL!!!

[bofspringfield]

Thank you for taking the time to post. I believe having differences of opinion should be an option we have in life, when they are friendly debates. But when they turn abusive then watch out! Opinions are just that! Opinions ..and shouldn't turn into demands.

[CArizona]

bofspringfield...I agree with you. Friendly discussions are great. I enjoy being around open-minded and level-headed people who have a "grip" on their emotions...Some people don't seem to have a "control valve" or any "checks and balances" when it comes to their emotions. They are subject to "fly off the handle" at any time. There's no telling what might "trigger" one of their "outbursts."...This is what abuse is all about. Abusers don't take responsibility for controlling their emotions. They are "walking volcanoes" or "loose canons" that can erupt or "go off" at any time...Anyway it's nice to be around people who do try to keep a measure of control over their "emotional state." It feels safer! Don't you think?