Obsessive ruminations and Aspergers Syndrome (characteristics, father, parent, issues)

[irish_bob]

Originally Posted by dreamofmonterey

What is anyones experience when having a discussion with someone with Aspergers? Is it a reciprocal conversation?, or one-sided?. Are people with the syndrome aware of this?

Are the cues easier to spot in person, how does it manifest if untreated?



Asperger's syndrome symptoms include:

• Engaging in one-sided, long-winded conversations, without noticing if the listener is listening or trying to change the subject
• Displaying unusual nonverbal communication, such as lack of eye contact, few facial expressions, or awkward body postures and gestures
• Showing an intense obsession with one or two specific, narrow subjects, such as baseball statistics, train schedules, weather or snakes
• Appearing not to understand, empathize with or be sensitive to others' feelings
• Having a hard time "reading" other people or understanding humor
• Speaking in a voice that is monotonous, rigid or unusually fast
• Moving clumsily, with poor coordination

Asperger's syndrome: Symptoms - MayoClinic.com

i can ascribe all those traits to a relative of mine , he has whats called aquired brain injury , was in a traffic accident as a kid

[brokencrayola]

I have 3 sons with Aspergers, each one to varying degrees. They have a very difficult time socializing. They are very close as brothers, but have trouble with people outside of family. They can be taught to a degree to read peoples postures and facial expressions, but they are by nature not very good at that. They do care and love certain people but are very self-involved. My sons happen to be obsessed with video games and their conversations revolve around them. One of my sons in particular can barely talk about anything else but that. He seems oblivious to other people tiring of what he is saying, or trying to change the subject.

[Mightyqueen801]

Thanks, everyone, who answered my questions. Very interesting.

I have a brother who I think would have likely been diagnosed with Asperger's if it was more well-known when he was a kid. He fits most of the description and he is a very caring person. I wasn't sure is people with Asperger's were emotionally detached from others or not as some forms of autism are.

[Doll Eyes]

Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801

Thanks, everyone, who answered my questions. Very interesting.

I have a brother who I think would have likely been diagnosed with Asperger's if it was more well-known when he was a kid. He fits most of the description and he is a very caring person. I wasn't sure is people with Asperger's were emotionally detached from others or not as some forms of autism are.

I beleive aspies to be 'emotionally detached from most people,' not that I want to see people get hit by a bus or anything, I am more attached to animals. They are better company and don't act like people do. now some of the asperger people are attached to one or two people like a parent or a sibling but then not others in the family.

[dreamofmonterey]

Originally Posted by brokencrayola

I have 3 sons with Aspergers, each one to varying degrees. They have a very difficult time socializing. They are very close as brothers, but have trouble with people outside of family. They can be taught to a degree to read peoples postures and facial expressions, but they are by nature not very good at that. They do care and love certain people but are very self-involved. My sons happen to be obsessed with video games and their conversations revolve around them. One of my sons in particular can barely talk about anything else but that. He seems oblivious to other people tiring of what he is saying, or trying to change the subject.

This is interesting, thank you.

It doesnt affect intellect, more interactions w. people, apparently.

Many people fall on a spectrum. I think its interesting that some go undiagnosed and find out later in life.

[brokencrayola]

Originally Posted by dreamofmonterey

This is interesting, thank you.

It doesnt affect intellect, more interactions w. people, apparently.

Many people fall on a spectrum. I think its interesting that some go undiagnosed and find out later in life.

It was obvious around 3 or 4 that something was going on with them, although they were all diagnosed between ages 6-9. Interesting story, they all made a LOT of noises and wave their arms around when they were young, still do at times. My youngest son was actually diagnosed the latest, even though both of his older brothers had been diagnosed with Aspergers and ADHD. The reason was they were convinced he was imitating the behavior he was seeing in his only siblings and it was not him, but it was. He is the least affected by the Aspergers as well, so it was not quite as obvious with him. To this day he is the least affected, and recently got a part-time job for the first time.

[tulani]

Originally Posted by dreamofmonterey

What is anyones experience when having a discussion with someone with Aspergers? Is it a reciprocal conversation?, or one-sided?. Are people with the syndrome aware of this?

Are the cues easier to spot in person, how does it manifest if untreated?

My Aspie is 29 and still lives with me. We set aside at least an hour a day to just sit and talk to each other. He talks, I listen; I talk, he listens. He IS aware that sometimes he goes off on long (boring) discussions that I don't really care about... but I DO listen.

Originally Posted by dreamofmonterey

Thanks for the feedback.

So they also think myopically/black and white?
Is this similar to Borderline?

Seems non-verbal requires, more social skills and is nuanced, so they are apt to not see things that others would pick up on?
What about humor/irony, would they have issues with that.

When it comes to humor or irony in any situation he doesn't understand, he WILL NOT GET IT no matter what. However, he delights in his own ironic humor and gets mad when we don't get it.

Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801

Question: Can these types of people be taught/learn such things as paying attention to non-verbal communication, conversation skills, etc?

It seems to me that they would be able to since they have the intelligence. If so, I'm sure it would require great effort.

And another question--does this also mean that they do not have feelings for others, either?

I would assume one could learn non-verbal communication. I have often discussed this very concept with my son. I cannot teach him what he needs to know because I don't know how to teach it.
We learn by osmosis but Aspies miss subtle and not so subtle clues. I have to constantly tell my son to pull back away from people - he is a space invader.

In my experience with my son and other Aspies I can honestly say that they certainly do have feelings for others.
It must be kept in mind that ALL emotions in Aspies are exaggerated. A high is a real high and a low is as low as it gets.
And teasing is something that is taken literally.

Originally Posted by brokencrayola

I have 3 sons with Aspergers, each one to varying degrees. They have a very difficult time socializing. They are very close as brothers, but have trouble with people outside of family. They can be taught to a degree to read peoples postures and facial expressions, but they are by nature not very good at that. They do care and love certain people but are very self-involved. My sons happen to be obsessed with video games and their conversations revolve around them. One of my sons in particular can barely talk about anything else but that. He seems oblivious to other people tiring of what he is saying, or trying to change the subject.

Your last sentence made me laugh. My son is also into video games and often talks about nothing else. I try to change the subject (often) and he has finally picked up on it after all these years. He often asks me if I am trying to change the subject and I always say yes with a smile. He then goes right back to talking about video games.

[BECLAZONE]

Originally Posted by tulani

In my experience with my son and other Aspies I can honestly say that they certainly do have feelings for others.
It must be kept in mind that ALL emotions in Aspies are exaggerated. A high is a real high and a low is as low as it gets.
And teasing is something that is taken literally.

All too often it is assumed that Aspies have no emotions, and little understanding of many things.
To this end, many think it acceptable to be offensive and insulting towards Aspies.
Offensive and insulting, is not just a verbal thing!

[Chava61]

They are very intelligent and definitely have feelings/emotions just like the rest of the world. One needs to have more patience dealing with them. One also needs to make sure that they make eye contact with you as you are speaking with them (otherwise they may tune you out).

[dreamofmonterey]

Originally Posted by BECLAZONE

All too often it is assumed that Aspies have no emotions, and little understanding of many things.
To this end, many think it acceptable to be offensive and insulting towards Aspies.
Offensive and insulting, is not just a verbal thing!

I wouldnt assume that, I would assume they are more sensitive.


Everyone's emotions should be respected. I started this thread bcs I saw some nasty backlash against other diagnoses on the mental health thread, by people who have no background.

Thanks everyone for contributing your personal experience.