Ambient Abuse: teach me! (abusive, emotion, people, everything)

[GrandviewGloria]

I just ran across the term, and have been unable to find much about it, except that this pattern of behavior seems to be far more prevalent and insidious than 'Gaslighting'. I'm guessing that it's a byproduct of the more malignant forms of Narcissism. Personally, I seem to have a fairly quick Run Away Response, when confronted with abusive people, and so my own experiences with this sort of thing would have been brief, with sudden endings ("I will always cherish the memories of working with you. I've learned so much. But this new....").

So, if you have links, extensive experience, certification in dealing with...

I'm here to learn.

[looking4answers12]

I had to do an internet search to clarify what you were talking about. I had heard the expression gaslighting before, but I couldn't remember what it meant.

After doing a couple quick searches, it seems like the two expressions are similar in meaning. In fact, I don't see much differenct at all. But, maybe i missed something.

I have witnessed some people do this. I am not even sure if those people were doing it intentionaly, or if it was just their nature to do it.


I see it as a form of manipulation. I agree it is probably common behavior among narcisists (forgive my spelling I'm being sloppy and lazy).

I also think it is common among all types of abusers. It's a way of keeping control over another person. If a person doubts themself, they will more likely follow the bidding of another.

I am curious as to why you are interested in this.

I also want to mention that the expression "head games" comes to mind when I read about gaslighting and ambient abuse.

[jasper12]

Physical & Emotional Abuse General Discussions at DailyStrength: AMBIENT/COVERT ABUSE

Interesting. I worked with someone like this, who made it her "mission" in life to wreck havoc with me. She did basically everything described in the above link. As I read it, it looks like Ambient Abuse, is more like saying things like...
"I heard people are unhappy about you"....sort of implying that you are in trouble, without really specifying anything specific. "The boss is really concerned about your work"...constantly putting you on edge, like emotional abuse, but it is really nothing, when you tell someone else...they think you are the "crazy" one...

Deal with person like this for 40 hours a week...as a co-worker...who does the entire gamut, ignoring you, lying about you to others, constantly creating an atmosphere of uncertianity...gaslighting...the entire situation is crazy making. People who do that are not normal. I fled away from this entire mess...forget it, no job is worth working in an atmosphere like this...

[Aleister Crowley]

Gaslighting/Lamp lighting came from a novel about a man who went up into his attic where he turned a gas light lamp out. When he returned, the light he turned off was on. The intent is to make a person feel like they're going crazy. It's a cruel form of suspended disbelief, fear, confusion and anger directed towards the intended target. The concept comes from a novel.

[CArizona]

jasper12...Thanks for posting the link to the article. It helps to gain awareness about "covert abuse." And hopefully recognize it in the early stages...Sorry you had to deal with the "crazymaker" at work. Good you finally left and got away!