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Old 01-06-2013, 09:33 AM
 
Location: North Fulton
1,039 posts, read 2,425,743 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kenneth-Kaunda View Post
it's a bit 'off' in the West I agree, but head to East Asia and staring is a national pass-time!

Everyday where I live I get the serious eyeball treatment - and you just have to get used to it because everyone does it - it's still annoying though.

Thailand, China, Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam - they all do it.

why?
I was just thinking about this as reading the thread. To the OP, if you have visited other countries, typically outside of North America, people will stare at you and if you stare back, they often still stare at you regardless. It is quite possible this person was from another culture, did that occur to you? Body language varies tremendously world-wide. If there are many immigrants where you live now, they may already do this and you are not aware of it. Observe it next time and you may see the constant staring from foreign males or females of any age. In particular from my experience, most Europeans and Asians stare at you and do not look away when you stare back.
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:59 AM
 
3,769 posts, read 8,799,123 times
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I think it is creepy. Im with the poster who says you are lucky you got out. Though a military facility, I would have to think she would not necessarily know who you are or enough about you to reach any conclusion regarding your obligation to address her - is it not possible that you could have been a civilian on that elevator ride? That being said, it was odd, troubling behavior.

Has it happened to me? I dont know because absent the mirror you would not have realized it. But, It reminds me of the times I have been in an elevator and gotten a bad sense. I usually turn around and engage the person making me uncomfortable in small talk - I hear that makes it less likely they will kill you.
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Old 01-07-2013, 07:07 AM
 
4,761 posts, read 14,285,568 times
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If she was a "medical type", then quite possible she could have just visited a patient who was in an accident had his nose squished in. And maybe she needs to reconstruct it in an operation or assist with this. And was just studying your nose - studying the details of how a nose should look exactly.

Or perhaps studying anatomy and was thinking of the underlying muscles and so forth on the face.

Or maybe she was a dermatologist and was admiring the smoothness or your skin or a looking at zit you had.

And maybe even a psychological type and was seeing how you would react if she stared at you...

All sorts of possibilities!
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Old 01-07-2013, 07:16 AM
 
1,050 posts, read 3,525,886 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iknowftbll View Post
That was something else I considered, but she had too much focus on her face for it to be the "thousand yard stare."

I told my wife this story, and she suggested something that I think is possible. But you need to know a few more details.

This was an Army hospital, and the woman was a Captain in the U.S. Army. She was in her uniform, I was in shorts, flip flops, a polo shirt and wearing a Denver Broncos visor. Now there are certain customs and courtesies that service members owe to their superiors, such as an appropriate greeting. If I were junior to her, I would have owed her a polite, "Good afternoon, Ma'am." I did not say a word though, as I am a Captain as well, just in the Marines. Anyway, my wife suggested that maybe she assumed I was junior to her and that she was waiting for me to offer an appropriate greeting. Of course, we're the same rank, but she didn't know that.

Oddly enough, I feel that if that was her reason, she could have easily turned to me and attempted to correct me. In which case I would have politely told her that I was her peer. Plus, I would like to think that a fellow captain would not shy away from making a correction if she believed one were needed. Still, I think my wife's explanation is as plausible as any I could fathom.

Thanks for the replies, thus far. I do hope you find my little story amusing. I'll admit this is a fairly benign event that lasted only a couple minutes, but two speechless minutes on an elevator is a long time to get stared at.

Never ever say you are just a Marine...
. You are a Captain in the US Marine Corps...........the best of the best!
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Old 01-07-2013, 08:20 AM
 
793 posts, read 1,342,526 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy_J View Post
If she was a "medical type", then quite possible she could have just visited a patient who was in an accident had his nose squished in. And maybe she needs to reconstruct it in an operation or assist with this. And was just studying your nose - studying the details of how a nose should look exactly.

Or perhaps studying anatomy and was thinking of the underlying muscles and so forth on the face.

Or maybe she was a dermatologist and was admiring the smoothness or your skin or a looking at zit you had.

And maybe even a psychological type and was seeing how you would react if she stared at you...

All sorts of possibilities!
^lol and at the OP.

I've also caught people staring at me and not looking away when I make eye contact. It's unsettling. I've never noticed their nationalities though. I was too freaked out by the weirdness of it. Next time I'll check.
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Old 01-07-2013, 08:37 AM
 
Location: The Island of Misfit Toys
2,765 posts, read 2,792,220 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MOKAN View Post
^If she's going to stare at him, he can sure as hell give her multiple glances.
But would she had stared if he didn't keep looking back? I doubt it.

I think she was a woman alone in an elevator with a man and she wanted to be able to remember his face if he attacked her. A sensible precaution. But he kept looking back which probably alarmed her and only encouraged her to keep staring.

Everybody always seems to be aware of how everybody else's behavior effects ours but we are usually oblivious to how our behavior effects other people's.

She is probably on another forum right now talking about the strange guy who kept looking back at her on an elevator. "Yea, so it got so strange that I really took a good look at him, you know, just in case I had to describe him to police later like the last time."
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Old 01-08-2013, 06:02 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,047,835 times
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The woman could be paranoid and a bit mentally abnormal.
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Old 01-08-2013, 01:06 PM
 
19,024 posts, read 27,585,087 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iknowftbll View Post
I'm not sure if the psychology forum is the right place to share this odd encounter, so if a moderator feels it should be moved to another thread, so be it.

This afternoon I was leaving a large medical facility. As I approached the elevator, a woman was there waiting. When the elevator arrived, she stepped in and I followed. She did not ask what floor (basic elevator etiquette) but it was okay because we were both going down to the ground floor. She pushed the button and backed into one corner, and I assumed my position in the opposite corner.

Now here is where it got weird. The front of the elevator was clad in mirrors. Aside from being a bit tacky, it enabled me to notice something weird about my "travel companion." I was staring at the floor and my eyes eventually wandered around. I caught this woman "staring at me" in the mirror, and we made "eye contact." Fair enough, thought I. After all, it is not uncommon for our eyes to wander to the only unique feature around, which in this scenario was me. But when I caught her "staring," she did not break her gaze or turn away. You ever been caught staring?

Don't you look away as soon as the other person notices you looking at them?

Now this woman was probably 30-35 or so, and I'm 32. I figured at first that she must have liked the way I look. (Silly me. Ego, right? ) But as the elevator ride continued, I chanced a couple more glances at her reflection and her stare did not seem to indicate that she found me attractive. It was an intense look. Not quite a "I'm going to kill you slowly and painfully" look, not quite angry, but definitely not friendly. I smiled. No emotion from her at all. I mean NONE. And the whole ride down, staring. It was somewhat chilling.

Finally the elevator stopped at the ground floor and I waited for her to exit. Her gaze stayed on me (not my reflection anymore) for a few steps before turning away. Then she was on her way and I on mine. I took a quick self assessment to make sure that I was in a presentable form. (IE: pants zipped, no big ugly boogers hanging from my nose, etc...) Nothing wrong, there.

Sort of made me wonder what was on her mind. Anyone ever have something like this happen?

Thoughts?
I doubt she was actually looking at YOU. She was likely seeing something only her mental eye could see. That's why there was no response to your mimics. That her gaze happened to be same level in the mirror YOURS was, was likely a pure coincidence.
I have those "stare into mental pictures". I used to have them a lot, when I was a child and teenager, it slowly goes away. As we lose our contact with our true nature and true Self.
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Old 01-08-2013, 01:13 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,214 posts, read 107,859,557 times
Reputation: 116138
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundance View Post
I would feel a bit uncomfortable riding an elevator with a strange man.
Is it common for women to feel uncomfortable riding an elevator with a stranger? This happens multiple times/day in high-rise office buildings. Wouldn't having a fear like that handicap someone? I can't imagine.
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Old 01-08-2013, 07:05 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,047,835 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Is it common for women to feel uncomfortable riding an elevator with a stranger? This happens multiple times/day in high-rise office buildings. Wouldn't having a fear like that handicap someone? I can't imagine.
I also find it strange that some people would feel inordinately uncomfortable. It happens all the time in big cities. I think thinking some random man is going to assault you in an elevator is a wee bit paranoid. Statistically speaking.
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