Narcissistic Trend

[Pear Martini]

How can you tell the difference between a sociopath and a malignant narcissist.

I'm sure one of my aunts who comes in and out of my life is a narcissist, even a malignant narcissist. When I described some of the wrong things she has done to my family to my friend she wondered if my aunt could possibly also be a sociopath?

[bofspringfield]

One thing is having certain traits that might identify us a sorta "narcissistic" and another is actually living as one and another is living the narcissistic way, and proudly displaying the ugly traits that come along. I have had the privilege of dealing with such a person. This female also a mother, utilizes any method to cause drama when things just don't go her way. Seems like a charmer, likes everything in excess, everything is hers not yours. She has done it all and truly has done nothing. Uses her child to spread gossip and drama. Yet the state allows her to continue to mother her child. This state seems to side with women a lot, taking the rights of that child away. Should a narcissistic person race a child? Wouldn't that child end up being a narcissistic parent?
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[AnywhereElse]

This is an excellent article and it shows what aging brings to the table. I do wonder how many started out as just narcissistic and it snowballed: The Aging Narcissist - MHM: Narcissistic Personality Disorder Eventually, over time, this person is avoided because one cannot take "it" anymore which starves them, lack of narcissistic feed, and they can get pretty nasty. Keep in mind if what the narcissist wants takes a physical act to get it that they will not let that stand in their way. "You" don't matter and will never matter.

[dreamofmonterey]

Originally Posted by Sam I Am

I guess I'm asking for opinions on whether Vaknin is a fraud (or just truly a narcissist???). I had reviewed the Lasch book earlier today - it appears pretty deep and VERY Freudian. For whatever reason, the excerpts of Vaknin's book seemed readable to me...I'm certainly no therapist or anything else, just mostly curious as to what makes some people tick. With my pea brain, the simpler the better!

I'm only interested from a layperson's point of view and I need a LOT of examples for me to make correlations - so, Dream, what was your opinion? I'm going to go back and read some more reviews on the Lasch book - so far even the reviews are pretty much over my head

Lasch's book uses actual patients he had to demonstrate narcissism.
It is very readable, even Warren Beatty read it to diagnose himself, lol ( when he interviewed on Charlie Rose) so Im sure you can.

I also agree with Robertpolyglot. Celebs and politicians have built-in narcissism very often. Many people do not seek out 24/7 attention, in fact its more normal for humans to prefer privacy, avoid attention. Celeb culture is not normal, despite what pablum we are fed by mass media that "everyone wants to be" a tabloid personality, or whatever trend is used to sell magazines.

[exscapegoat]

Originally Posted by divakat

I have two people that are close to me with this disorder. It literally drains you of all happiness. They completely lack any kind of empathy, have dilusions of grandeur about themselves to the extreme, and are often very condescending towards others. They tend to view others as beneath them. The best way to deal with them is simple....don't deal with them. There is no alternative if you want to have a happy life, particularly if you are married to this person. There is also many times a genetic component, and many times a parent of the narcissist also has the disorder. That makes it even worse because they have little empathy for their own child....thus that child has never had a role model...and the cycle perpetuates itself.

I think children of Narcissists are at a higher risk for developing it themselves. But I think a lot of it depends on the role the child plays. NPD parents tend to split their children into "golden children" and scapegoats. The golden child can do nothing wrong, the scapegoat can do nothing right. For example, my golden child brother could skip chores, make a mess and my mother would blame me for it and expect me to clean it up, not him. In the long run, I think he got the worst of the deal. He hasn't really learned self-sufficiency. He has trouble holding a job for any length of time and he's been arrested several times and served a prison term. Not all or most golden children develop NPD, but I think they are more prone to it.

Then there are "fleas" where growing up with a NPD parent either causes the child to adopt certain NPD behaviors or the defense mechanisms necessary to deal with a NPD parent which cause problems in other areas of life. For example, emotional regulation is tougher to learn when you have a parent who deals with stress by melting down. Or appeasement of the parent kept things calmer at home, but makes one a target for bullies at school and/or the workplace.