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Old 10-06-2012, 12:56 PM
 
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I've noticed something over time with my wife. I have a great memory when it comes to things that affect our lives or things that interest me. But I don't seem to remember anything that happens in the world. On the other hand my wife remembers everything that happens in the outside world that has nothing to do with our personal lives but has trouble keeping track of things that affect us personally. I was told that I'm not selfish as I always take the time to help people but this way of thinking seems selfish. Is there a name for this kind of personality?
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Old 10-06-2012, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Tacoma, WA
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I don't think you give enough information for us to determine what type of personality you or she has.
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Old 10-06-2012, 03:06 PM
 
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I understand, Kagami46, because this type of person causes hurt and some emotional pain when they cannot remember important (or not so important) things about you, what you have said, what has been discussed, things that you have relayed about yourself, what interests you, etc. It sometimes seems like passive-aggressive behavior on the part of your spouse - as if they are deliberately not taking in and remembering important information about you that you have relayed.

I do think some of the not remembering is passive-aggressive. I take it as an insult. I think the spouse is not listening carefully or maybe pretends not to remember in order to get back at you as a sort of revenge. Or they cannot remember important things you have said or about you because they don't think it is important enough to inculcate the details into their memory in a respectful way to enhance the relationship.

I have this exact problem with a close friend. I think it is part narcissism, part attention deficit disorder, part disrespect, part passive-aggressive behavior, part failing memory, part inattentiveness, part a lack of an ability to inculcate what is important to you.
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Old 10-06-2012, 04:17 PM
 
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Let me elaborate since there seems to be a few misunderstandings and I wasn't too clear. I'm the type of person that keeps track of everything. Bills, appointments, things we should be doing, planning for, etc. I have a habit of taking care of everything for us and thinking of any problems that may arise. I remember everything about both of us to make our lives easier in the future. I don't really care much for anything that doesn't affect us, with some exceptions of course (ie. friends, family, hobbies). I'm wondering if my inability to remember the other things ie. "give a crap" has a name for a personality type. For example I won't remember most news media, politics don't interest me, I can care less about sports statistics, stuff like that.

My wife on the other hand remembers sports statistic, new media, historical information and all kinds of fun facts about the world we live in. Yet she misses appointments, isn't very good handling her finances, doesn't plan ahead, only deals with problems after they happen, etc. I will give her that she will remember all of MY appointments and she is very good at taking care of me even when I don't ask. She knows I do a lot for us and she tries to do what she can. She's aware that she has a horrible memory when it comes to taking care of herself.

Basically is there a name for either of these personality types?
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Old 10-06-2012, 05:04 PM
 
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1) you = egocentric, non-intellectual, not curious about the world and most everything in the world, not other-directed, self-obsessed, not seeking of knowledge

2) your wife = has intellectual curiosity, seeks new knowledge, other-directed, curious about the world

Your characteristics seem to fall under Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. And also egocentrism.

I would not characterize your wife's characteristics under any psychological terms.
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Old 10-06-2012, 05:18 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
1) you = egocentric, non-intellectual, not curious about the world and most everything in the world, not other-directed, self-obsessed, not seeking of knowledge

2) your wife = has intellectual curiosity, seeks new knowledge, other-directed, curious about the world

Your characteristics seem to fall under Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. And also egocentrism.

I would not characterize your wife's characteristics under any psychological terms.
Let's see well I appreciate your opinion but I am far from a non-intellectual. Not caring about outside occurrences does not mean I don't strive to educate myself in various fields. I love to learn anything I can that interests me at the time. I also encourage my to learn anything she wishes to learn. My wife loves the violin and I purchased one for her birthday and paid for over a year of lessons. So I don't think I'm self-obsessed. I don't think I fit the criteria you created for me. Thanks again.
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Old 10-06-2012, 05:22 PM
 
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Well if she remembers your appointments and takes care of you, how is she selfish? It seems more of a matter that you both have different interests/priorities. Which doesn't make either of you right or wrong, just different
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Old 10-06-2012, 05:25 PM
 
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Not to be argumentative, but just because someone loves to listen to violin music performed by a premier violinist and/or by a symphony orchestra, it doesn't automatically follow nor mean that person wants to learn how to play the violin themselves nor do they want to be burdened with a whole year of lessons. Unless a person specifically requests to have a violin and requests lessons, it would seem a controlling gesture to impose owning a violin on a person who just likes violin music.

Now, it's your turn to say that was not the case and not the circumstance. But it sounds that way.
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Old 10-06-2012, 05:28 PM
 
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exscapegoat, I get the impression that Kagami46's wife probably told him that he is selfish because he is so insulated and self-obsessed in what he cares about, as he specifically says 'he does not give a crap' about world events and local events, people in the news, things going on in the world. This is a selfish, insulated characteristic.
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Old 10-06-2012, 05:28 PM
 
629 posts, read 1,179,014 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by exscapegoat View Post
Well if she remembers your appointments and takes care of you, how is she selfish? It seems more of a matter that you both have different interests/priorities. Which doesn't make either of you right or wrong, just different
Lol I never said she was selfish. I'm talking about myself having traits similar to selfish behavior without actually being selfish. I care for everyone close to me and I take the time to help others I don't know as long as it's within my power and won't inconvenience anyone.
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