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My father was an alcoholic, although not in the stereotypical sense of coming home drunk every night and beating his wife and children. Rather, in his post-recovery years (which cover most of my life), he would go long periods without drinking, and then get really drunk and decide to take his car out, which would inevitably result in either a DUI or an accident (though nobody became his victim, thankfully). He spent most of his later, very sober years driving without a license, and would always be careful to avoid being pulled over, or have somebody else drive him if it was an area where police were around.
My dad, like others in his generation (who grew up in the 70's and entered adulthood in the early 80's) started drinking at parties as a young teenager. Then the drinking age was 18 and alcohol use by minors seemed to be much more widely tolerated by society, as it was in rural areas in the region even up to no longer than 10 years ago. At 17 he suffered the tragedy of his mother dying in a house fire. He carried his mother upstairs while she was still alive and tried to throw her out the window, but he simply could not survive the fumes and jumped out himself. Despite his actions being lauded as heroic, this left a permanent psychological scar on him. Anti-depressants were a major help, but then his father died in 2000 and he sunk back into depression. However, he did not drink much after he died, due to his past treatment and medications.
The main effect it has had on my brother and I (but not so much my sister, who barely ever saw my dad drunk or in trouble) was that it rendered us non-drinkers. To use a corny phrase, it gave alcohol a bad taste. I don't sense that it had an effect much elsewhere on us, but this would obviously be different if he was a confirmed alcoholic who came home drunk all the time like you see in the movies.
I know of an alcoholic couple that were very disfunctional. It was a blended family. They would starve the kids, neglect thier health jobs etc. They sobered up when they found out their 17 yo kids were sleeping together. Alcohol has destroyed more familes.
I have a friend who is involved in Adult Children, but she is in it for abusive conditions in her childhood. There was no alcohol involved, but she still partakes because some of the issues she has had to deal with were formidable.
My father was an alcoholic, although not in the stereotypical sense of coming home drunk every night and beating his wife and children. Rather, in his post-recovery years (which cover most of my life), he would go long periods without drinking, and then get really drunk and decide to take his car out, which would inevitably result in either a DUI or an accident (though nobody became his victim, thankfully). He spent most of his later, very sober years driving without a license, and would always be careful to avoid being pulled over, or have somebody else drive him if it was an area where police were around.
My dad, like others in his generation (who grew up in the 70's and entered adulthood in the early 80's) started drinking at parties as a young teenager. Then the drinking age was 18 and alcohol use by minors seemed to be much more widely tolerated by society, as it was in rural areas in the region even up to no longer than 10 years ago. At 17 he suffered the tragedy of his mother dying in a house fire. He carried his mother upstairs while she was still alive and tried to throw her out the window, but he simply could not survive the fumes and jumped out himself. Despite his actions being lauded as heroic, this left a permanent psychological scar on him. Anti-depressants were a major help, but then his father died in 2000 and he sunk back into depression. However, he did not drink much after he died, due to his past treatment and medications.
The main effect it has had on my brother and I (but not so much my sister, who barely ever saw my dad drunk or in trouble) was that it rendered us non-drinkers. To use a corny phrase, it gave alcohol a bad taste. I don't sense that it had an effect much elsewhere on us, but this would obviously be different if he was a confirmed alcoholic who came home drunk all the time like you see in the movies.
I'm glad you don't drink and you sound very together....but my heart is heavy for your grandmother and your dad both - what a tragic event. God bless...
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