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No, what I meant is that maybe you could meet people who your physical issues are not important. It may increase your self esteem, which is attractive.
And sorry if I offended you...but attitude is what creates the problem...
You may be too hard on yourself....maybe therapy would help you increase your self esteem, and see beyond the surface.
No, what I meant is that maybe you could meet people who your physical issues are not important. It may increase your self esteem, which is attractive.
And sorry if I offended you...but attitude is what creates the problem...
You may be too hard on yourself....maybe therapy would help you increase your self esteem, and see beyond the surface.
I actually don't have low self-esteem. It's just that I don't care. What benefit would it be going to therapy, other than a few grand for a lucky therapist?
I'm a realist. What you don't understand is that I accepted my limitations long ago. Where I go from here on I is my decision.
I think the reason people have been using words like "pity-party" and assuming that you have low self esteem, is that you started the thread by asking us all if you ought to just off yourself because you believe that you are too ugly to ever be loved.
That sort of sentiment speaks pretty strongly of a person questioning their worth, if suicide is on the table, or a complete withdrawal from society...but perhaps you were only in a moment of particularly deep bad mood, we all have them, but at other times you understand that you have value.
I don't know...I mean...any response is somewhat trite coming from those who don't even know you. All I can say is that there are folks in the world who fit exactly society's mold of "beautiful" who are still a mess, and have terrible lives. I think everybody's got a story that should be told, potential to contribute to the world, and the ability somewhere inside of them to find happiness. Finding the key to unlock your potential can be a lifelong quest. I hope you don't give up...and I wish you well, Hombre.
This isn't mean to be a ploy for sympathy, but I am woefully ugly.
I do not know the level we are talking about here, but I have seen some really ugly dudes that have such a great personality that later on you dont see them as ugly anymore.
Try developing your personality, it would win you points. I think people levitate towards goodness and if they feel that radiating from you then you will be happy.
Watch The Kid (Nicholas Cage). It's amazing what he did to himself because of his insecurity
Hombre, you actually sound fairly mentally balanced. You're looking life in the face. Great. Accepting reality is always a good thing. Once you do that, though, you can start to think of ways to change what is. Reality is made up by each of us -- that means you get a vote.
Here's what I would do if I were you. I'd maximize my control over the things that I can control. First thing, hit the gym. Eating right and exercising regularly does wonders for the body. I should know. I went from being kind of chubby to having a body that looks sculpted and would more or less fit in with GQ models. It's not as hard as you think. Routine is key. Eat healthy food routinely and go lift some weights five times a week or so. It will take about six months to totally transform your body. If you're so distraught over things you're at the end anyhow, you have nothing left to lose. Start there.
Also, work on your hair. Go to a good stylist. Get a good recommendation for a style that works for you. Women appreciate these things.
Take special notice of fashion. Find clothes that compliment your shape and color. Women appreciate these things too.
As another poster said, find a fragrance that works for you and wear it.
It's really not that hard. You just need to exert some effort. Even if you still have a jacked up face, you will be WELL ahead of the competition if you take these steps.
Why is it that people tell anyone suffering from any kind of mental illness or bad luck to "volunteer"? Passing the buck, shifting the problem elsewhere so you don't have to witness it? Why don't you go and volunteer. I work over 50 hours a week just to exist in this so-called great country.
LOL. Okay, I have to agree with you on this.
Someone always brings up the "volunteer" suggestion, and it usually comes up more than once.
We all have to admit, this IS a very lame-sounding, generic answer.
Are there sports teams in your area? Can you play an instrument? Start a band/join a band. Or hell, even learn to play an instrument! Take some lessons somewhere. Learn to paint, do woodwork. Cook. Whatever.
You could meet someone in a night class.
Uh.... yes. Maybe the old-fashioned volunteering thing. But there are specific causes out there that need volunteers. Environmental causes. Political causes. Even creative arts things in your area. Do you like theater? Music? Volunteer at a theater. Working backstage with sets or something. Help a local band you love sell their merchandise at their shows.
Whatever.
I think what turns people off about the word "volunteering" is they automatically think of the conventional food bank, soup kitchen scenario. Although that's wonderful too, and if that's what turns you on.
Even weirder, more out-there causes then that. Maybe create one. If there's a topic you are passionate about.
Are you really saying you're so "woefully ugly" you can't possibly clean up nice? Like WestCobb said above:
Maximize what you've got.
I can think of a few homely/not-so-good-looking celebs. Do you imagine any woman would want anything to do with say... John C. Reilly or Mick Jagger if they walked around with negative attitudes, thought little of themselves, and just kept their heads down, not making any effort to use their talents, make people laugh (in John's case) or dress up?
That's what's attractive about them.
I'm a realist. What you don't understand is that I accepted my limitations long ago. Where I go from here on I is my decision.
I am going to try to see if I understand what you are communicating here.
You believe that your physical appearance greatly limits your options in life - mainly options for relationships.
Is that correct?
Here is what I don't yet understand.
Do you still desire relationships? Do you feel bad (sad, lonely, etc) because you don't have the relationship you want?
It seems you are looking for some form of dialogue with the folks here, otherwise why would you post? What are you hoping for in terms of a response? Are you seeking empathy - perhaps others saying that they can understand the pain of having an unchosen major limitation in life? Are you seeking ideas for how to feel at peace even when you do not have the major thing you want in life - such as a meaningful intimate relationship? Are you looking for ideas on how to create opportunities to find a relationship even though you have a major strike against you?
I ask because it seems you are seeking something, and as someone who doesn't know you, but only reads the words you post here on C-D, I cannot put my finger on exactly what it is you are seeking.
It will help you to connect to others with similar interests.
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