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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,060,466 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12
I suggest volunteering at a blind center, and stop being so focused on external factors. That is more unattractive than anything. So is the pity party.
I have dated a lot of great guys, who were a lot of fun...it was not their looks that attracted me, but their kindness to others.
Speaking of blind, maybe find a blind person to be the love of your life? Not in an opportunistic way, but I mean, if they never see you it ain't gonna matter to them. And they'll be less picky too. Problem solved there at least! lol
I do not know the level we are talking about here, but I have seen some really ugly dudes that have such a great personality that later on you dont see them as ugly anymore.
Try developing your personality, it would win you points. I think people levitate towards goodness and if they feel that radiating from you then you will be happy.
Watch The Kid (Nicholas Cage). It's amazing what he did to himself because of his insecurity
I agree. My first boyfriend was physically unattractive (his face not body). I worked with him and realized he was so funny with a great personality. After a year, we started dating. I literally did not see "the ugly" anymore. He became physically gorgeous in my eyes. A great personality can do that.
Are you physically fit? Being physically fit and healthy (including mentally healthy) looking goes a long way.
Oh absolutely....nothing is worse than being fat/overweight, not even being unattractive!
What a really terrific message and unfortunately a societal common denominator that anyone overweight isn't worth knowing or acknowledging. Yet the physically fit get a free ride regardless of personality/character. It's fascinating (and sad) how so many get a positive charge out of living adulthood as pre-adolescent girls.
Well first of all it isnt Jesus crap. Hes real. But thats besides the point. Gardener34 is right. you need to make sure you are in good shape. Things like healthy skin will follow. Women also like to see confidence. My husbands best friend is a great guy, and hes not bad looking, but he has low self esteem and that severly effects his love life. On the other hand he has a friend that is actually ugly and he has no problem finding women because of his confidence. And you SHOULD blame people for cutting you off because of that. That is shallow, as shallow as it gets. I have had some ugly friends, and liked some ugly guys. because they were good people, and the people that couldnt look past that werent worth their time. I could go on and on trying to make you feel better about yourself, but maybe if it would help you could post a picture of yourself and ask the ladies what the turn off is. Im sure the single ladies would be glad to help.
I actually don't have low self-esteem. It's just that I don't care. What benefit would it be going to therapy, other than a few grand for a lucky therapist?
I'm a realist. What you don't understand is that I accepted my limitations long ago. Where I go from here on I is my decision.
Maybe the fact that you dont care is part of the problem. We are only animals. Believe it or not we can sense those kinds of things. You are right about the therapist unfortunately. All they do is repeat what you say to them as a question until you solve your own problem. Maybe read about tony robbins. apparently he felt like you do. He was fat and unhealthy and going nowhere. he turned his life around and is now changing others lives. look him up. maybe go to a conference.
So while I accept the Darwinistic crap that life just isn't fair, I really want to just end my life. Why can't people in my situation at least have the right to die as painlessly as possible, without having to resort to actually committing suicide? All the self help and Jesus crap doesn't help people in my situation. I cannot afford therapy and therapy wouldn't help anyway. I cannot afford plastic surgery either. I'm already past my expiration date and feel that most of today's women would just see me as an "eww creeper".
I only ever wanted to just gel with people and connect with others like anyone else would. It's human nature. Euthanasia should be allowed for people in my situation. Some in my situation turn to rage and take it out on others. I wonder how many of those people could have been helped by the option of euthanasia and how many innocent lives could have been saved.
Are you talking romantic or platonic? I could/can get over the lack of romantic. Many people do. However, losing the platonic (friends, good acquaintances) becomes a hassle when you have decided that that is what one needs for the duration ... stimulation of the mind and the soul, rather than the body.
I do not concur with the drastic viewpoint. Everyone has some kinds of gifts. Also, we tend to judge ourselves more harshly than do others.
It is unfair, to be sure. Before I even started reading your thread and knew what it would be about, I thought of a situation in our extended family and which just played out on Thanksgiving. An in-law has a sibling with 4 kids. Two are daughters, and are overweight, and two are sons, and are physically fit. One of them looks like a boxer and is of the "Hey wow, f***, man" school, referring to the cool places he is hanging out with his many post-collegiate friends. He doesn't like me. The feeling is mutual. The other brother is a lanky cross-country type who is interested in the world around him and is more cerebral. He and I get along fine. The interesting thing is that the former son has a list of friends a mile long, while the more introspective one has a much smaller number of friends. This is hardly a surprise to me. The world is full of douche bags. There's nothing we can do.
I also have a problem getting the affection of pretty women due to my looks and financial status in society. And the problem is that I don't think I will ever be able to get the affection of a pretty lady to save my life so I will probably die a lonely virgin.
It's a terrible feeling where pretty young ladies will not even acknowledge that you exist.
Im sure some unattractive ladies feel the same way... Give them a chance.
Oh thank god, thanks for making that distinction. That would be like so gross!
Well, you can't exactly help it if you don't have an attractive face but you CAN help it if you're not taking care of your body. Have a little pride in yourself!
Im sure some unattractive ladies feel the same way... Give them a chance.
But I don't want to give them a chance.
Society is expecting you to date someone ugly if you are ugly too but I don't want to conform to the hierarchial status quo because of my own psychological reasons.
Last edited by Mr. Freak; 12-12-2012 at 12:14 AM..
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