The psychology of action

[RGear9]

We all want to be better. Think of one thing you want to do for yourself that would make you a better person. Do 5 minutes a day of it and push yourself to continue the activity for a month, then 3 months. Just ONE thing. "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle

[ocnjgirl]

Originally Posted by needanamethatisnttaken

Short version - I have no intrinsic motivation. Looking for ways to remedy that.

Long version - I can't seem to do things that I want to do. For example, I want to get in shape. I know how to get in shape. There's really nothing stopping me from doing it. Yet I don't do it. I skip workouts and eat bad food.

I want to learn to play the guitar. I have a guitar, I have plenty of instructional material on the internet. Yet I don't learn. I don't practice for weeks at a time.

I want to expand my social network. I know I could do this by volunteering or striking up conversations in places I already go. But I don't. I stay home and don't work out and don't play guitar.

My job is really the only thing I put a modicum of effort into, and that's because I want more money to buy more stuff for more hobbies that I probably won't pursue unless I can overcome this lack of motivation.

I've thought that perhaps I don't want these things badly enough. But if that's the case, I don't really want much of anything, and that's a problem in itself.

Thoughts?

You might be putting too much pressure on yourself. For instance, I too lack motivation for many things, including exercise. If I tried to tell myself I'm going to start exercising 5 days a week for an hour each time, I would never do it for long, because the first time I didn't feel like it and skipped, I would feel like I failed and give up. However once I started saying that any amount of exercise is fine, and giving myself permission to just do it for 15 minutes when I don't feel like doing anything, it allows me to feel success rather than failure, and that builds and leads me to feel proud of myself and that leads to me doing it again the next day. Some days I exercise for 30 minutes, some days 45, some days 10, some days I just don't feel like it and I skip it. The key to getting back on the horse is to not beat yourself up for not living up to some standard you hear on TV or whatever for how long you're "supposed" to do it.

So look at your goals, and think of them in smaller bites. You are not motivated to spend an hour a day learning the guitar? Okay, how about 15 minutes twice a week? Don't feel you can stick to changing your entire diet? Okay, how about just giving up soda, or not eating past dinner. IMO just taking ANY action leads you to feel better about yourself and that leads to success. I feel that for people like us who lack motivation, starting is the hardest part, so any action to get over that hump will help. Also don't try to take on all your issues/goals at once.