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Have you ever wondered why so many singles in America are unhappy, some of whom fall into deep depression and even contemplate or commit suicide, especially men?
The answer doesn't just lie in our natural need for intimate companionship, as human beings. The major factor is pressure from American media and American society in general to be married, to follow the plan and achieve X by Y age. Any deviation from the norm is seen as wrong. Such people are seen as losers or failures.
Look at many television program's and movies. How many dozens of times have you seen the glorification of marriage and the family, while single people are portrayed as reckless, directionless, poor and generally bad influences on their married friends. There was a trailer I saw recently that fit the exact bill: the synopsis was two male friends, one married and one single are envious of the other's lifestyle and as a result of a spell, trade places. Of course, the married guy has a great career, kids and the nice house in the suburbs, while the single guy is basically down and out, living in an apartment.
Prejudice exists too. I've lost count of the number of times I've been asked if I'm married, followed by the look of surprise. I would imagine this is worse for single women. Although there are no laws preventing me from doing so, I don't feel comfortable going into a restaurant alone or even to the cinema alone. You always feel like you're being judged as some sort of sad case. Over the last decade or so, it's even got to the stage where single men are seen as potential sexual predators or pedophiles, even by airlines (there were 2 cases on Australian airlines where single men were asked to move seats as they were sitting next to unaccompanied minors, causing humiliation). Has it got to the stage where a man on his own in a park is seen as some sort of predator?
When your friends and siblings marry, they seem to want less to do with you, especially once they have children, yet they seem to find time for fellow "coupled" friends.
So I get why so many single people and those single post-divorce become miserable. It's not so much the lack of companionship, but the pressure from society and the constant bombardment from the media that relationships are the be all and end all. Perhaps that's one reason why the divorce rate is so high?
I will say that having traveled to Germany a lot, it didn't seem like such a big deal there. Perhaps America in general isn't the greatest country on earth to be single in as it's very much geared towards being family / marriage oriented in just about every aspect of life.
There should be no shame or sense of failure in being single.
I dont watch chick flicks or anything that glorifies marriage. None of my siblings or friends are married. I feel no pressure and am secure enough in myself and my decision not to get married that I dont feel any influence from anyone besides myself. The only pressure I put on myself is to excel in school and at my work and that kind of pressure is fine for me and pushes me to achieve real goals.
I dont watch chick flicks or anything that glorifies marriage. None of my siblings or friends are married. I feel no pressure and am secure enough in myself and my decision not to get married that I dont feel any influence from anyone besides myself. The only pressure I put on myself is to excel in school and at my work and that kind of pressure is fine for me and pushes me to achieve real goals.
Well, that's you and that's good. I'm guessing you're quite young though? You might feel differently when you hit your 30's and 40's and your friends are married?
As a lifelong black sheep, I have great big calluses where "the norm" has chafed me. I really don't feel the pressure to conform anymore, haven't in well over 15 years. I do know people who feel this pressure to conform though, and generally feel kinda bad for them.
People grow apart when they no longer have as many common interests. Just because married people hang out with other married people does not imply prejudice or discrimination.
It's natural to want to be with others who really understand what you're living and talking about.
Yes, mass media can push stereotypes, but as adults it's our job not to be so impressionable.
I don't recall having been pressured into getting married.
Nor do I care if someone else is married.
Btw, I have a real issue with everyone always blaming the 'media' for their inability to have their own thoughts and standards. If you don't know that the MSM is a crock of warmed over turds with all sorts of crazy bias and misinformation and misrepresentation and bloodlust, then you need to get some more common sense. These people don't care about the facts and they sure as hell don't care about you. They only care about ratings.
Well, that's you and that's good. I'm guessing you're quite young though? You might feel differently when you hit your 30's and 40's and your friends are married?
I'm 26. I've never wanted to get married or have kids. Most of my friends and siblings are in their 30's and are never planning on getting married or having kids. I'm not the type of person who makes life decisions based on the masses and whats "expected". Luckily my siblings and friends feel the same way.
I really feel bad for those who do feel that pressure. Its unnecessary.
I don't recall having been pressured into getting married.
Nor do I care if someone else is married.
Btw, I have a real issue with everyone always blaming the 'media' for their inability to have their own thoughts and standards. If you don't know that the MSM is a crock of warmed over turds with all sorts of crazy bias and misinformation and misrepresentation and bloodlust, then you need to get some more common sense. These people don't care about the facts and they sure as hell don't care about you. They only care about ratings.
I put the pressure on myself. I want so bad to be remarried and start a family. I moved halfway across the country for a new job, and the first question from everyone I met was "where's your family?" It was and is a constant reminder that I haven't been successful at this. I hate being alone. Yeah, I can be alone, but my life would be so much fuller with a great woman in it. Just not in the cards I guess.
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Oh jeez, now singles are "marginalized"?
