Craving touch/physical affection is an important part of being human... (attractive, pathological)

[Harrier]

Originally Posted by Apotamkin_Renesmee

Studies have shown that people need and crave being touched more than they desire sex, money or social status. Basic physical (non-sexual) affection such as holding hands, getting a massage, being caressed and getting hugged are very important to our species and sometimes, people who go without being touched in an affectionate way for long periods of time often become depressed, they lose their interest in daily life activities and tend to isolate themselves from people.?

If being touched is so important, then wouldn't the last thing a person not being touched affectionately much do is distance themselves from the potential source of such attention?

[cloven]

Originally Posted by Harrier

If being touched is so important, then wouldn't the last thing a person not being touched affectionately much do is distance themselves from the potential source of such attention?

Can't speak for the OP, but:

Maybe people without physical affection in their lives give up on the whole enterprise,
since the rejection (of repeatedly trying) and isolation can become intolerably painful over time.

Perhaps some folks do "get used to" being physically alone & isolated on a tactile/touch level-
thinking, "if I ignore this 'skin hunger', it might go away, and then the pain will be less".

Maybe after so much time the "want/need" becomes too painful to bear, the person grows into a stance of "sour grapes",
where if they cannot have the desired thing/stimuli, then they knock it and dismiss it as something they wouldn't want anyway.

[tinytrump]

I live alone and drives some miles to get my grands to give me hugs & kissies... we all need love! and we getting REALLYYYY bad at it... other folks- got it together- kis kiss hug kiss, love! <-Russians

[Ivispark]

There is a difference between merely acting tenderly and loving someone so deeply that it simply cannot be faked.

[tijlover]

I believe the desire for physical touch to be way, way overrated! There's other ways of touching people which can be more pleasurable, more long-lasting and permanent!

My mother was one of these types. She miscalculated that physically touching or hugging me would be a cure-all for any of my problems! Wrong!! Dead Wrong!!! I got to the point where I absolutely dreaded the hugs!

All I really wanted from her was some compassion and a better understanding of myself, which never happened! She simply couldn't deal with people who got depressed or tried to figure out why they were depressed.

Right there to give them, me, a hug, which had no value whatsoever!

[kevin15776]

I grew up getting lots of hugs and kisses from my mom and I was also quite the cuddle bug with my parents and pets plus I had many stuffed animals I'd snuggle with. I'd kiss them goodnight and make sure they were cozy.

These days I don't have much physical contact. My job keeps me pretty isolated and I rarely see family and have never been in a relationship or had a pet since leaving home. I do have a snuggle pillow I cuddle with a lot but I do miss and crave physical contact with an actual living thing. The most contact I get is when I get a haircut and they wash my hair. That's my favorite part.

[metalmancpa]

Originally Posted by Apotamkin_Renesmee

Studies have shown that people need and crave being touched more than they desire sex, money or social status. Basic physical (non-sexual) affection such as holding hands, getting a massage, being caressed and getting hugged are very important to our species and sometimes, people who go without being touched in an affectionate way for long periods of time often become depressed, they lose their interest in daily life activities and tend to isolate themselves from people. I've seen some people who have experienced this firsthand, and, it's quite sad. Sometimes, even when people find themselves without a significant other, they at least still have family and friends who do show them physical affection. But, there are so many people who really have no one that touches them on a regular or even on an occasional basis; these people are totally devoid of affectionate physical contact from anyone.

Some may not think it's as important as other aspects of life, a friendship or a relationship while others might think it's one of the most important things to have in their life. I personally find touch to be an integral part of my daily life; I know I couldn't go too long without being touched in an affectionate way! I feel that it would affect my moods and certain aspects of my personality and the way I view the world (and probably myself).

How important do you think touch is in your life and with people in general?

My marriage of 33 years is currently in really rough water, one of the main reason being exactly this. My lack of this sort of affection towards my wife took its toll over our marriage, and not until now did I realize how much damage I actually did. Now we're just working on hopefully repairing what we have now in hopes to get back to what we used to be - and physical affection is something due to my personality I let go.

[brightdoglover]

I grew up in an emotionally barren (very depressed) household. No abuse, but no nuthin', at least in my memory. The first touch in my life was my very, well, active life with my high school boyfriend. We were very physical and I came to think that touch was pretty much relegated to relationship, that is, boyfriend and so on. That has largely been true. (Do pets count?) I do hug friends hello and good-bye but it seems more pro forma than a touch. I have never found body therapies to count as touch, since there is no personal relationship with the chiropractor or acupuncturist or massage person. I mean, their work feels good because it corrects muscle spasms and other discomforts, but there is no emotion attached to it.

I admit that I'd find it very alienating to have a sexual relationship because of a generic desire for touch. If it's not personal, it just isn't worth it to me. I like to feel the flood of loving feelings (endorphins?) when I touch and am touched.

[mari1969]

Originally Posted by Apotamkin_Renesmee

Studies have shown that people need and crave being touched more than they desire sex, money or social status. Basic physical (non-sexual) affection such as holding hands, getting a massage, being caressed and getting hugged are very important to our species and sometimes, people who go without being touched in an affectionate way for long periods of time often become depressed, they lose their interest in daily life activities and tend to isolate themselves from people. I've seen some people who have experienced this firsthand, and, it's quite sad. Sometimes, even when people find themselves without a significant other, they at least still have family and friends who do show them physical affection. But, there are so many people who really have no one that touches them on a regular or even on an occasional basis; these people are totally devoid of affectionate physical contact from anyone.

Some may not think it's as important as other aspects of life, a friendship or a relationship while others might think it's one of the most important things to have in their life. I personally find touch to be an integral part of my daily life; I know I couldn't go too long without being touched in an affectionate way! I feel that it would affect my moods and certain aspects of my personality and the way I view the world (and probably myself).

How important do you think touch is in your life and with people in general?

I feel exactly like you. When i was young (im 46 now) I often thought how my mom and my grandmom could live without pshysical contact (at that time i had a partner and thought that i will always have one).

Now Im alone and i suffer a lot about that.

[mari1969]

Originally Posted by srjth

I believe this but some people don't recognize it as such and instead say that they are sex-starved.

Disgusting but true