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In modern societies, like the U.S., people seem to fall into buckets which are fairly tidy. I believe in profiling and, God forbid, stereotyping. These buckets self-segregate by wealth, religion, coolness, regional norms, gender, ethnicity, political views, hipness, hobbies, education, and anything you can think of. Sure, some of these buckets might have mixtures of the above, such as religion and political views, but for anyone who doesn't fit into these buckets tidily, it's a tougher battle. Being a self-styled person, or a nonconformist, is not viewed as cool. Only if you do something stellar like invent a cure for polio, discover electricity, or start up a tech company is your being a self-styled person considered tolerable.
Last edited by robertpolyglot; 02-04-2013 at 07:20 PM..
i avoid people like the plague. friends are overrated. i see people as generally annoying and dislike most of them. i have had some lousy friends who have got me into some **** in the past. im not sure if i have a mental condition, or have just withdrawn from everyone by past experience. call it trust issues. i even had those before i came into contact with the bad eggs. now, it is just worse. i also don't think highly of myself either, so nobody can say that i am conceited. i want to go out and meet people and perhaps work on this. but after work at the end of the night, i am just so tired and drained psychologically that i cannot foresee any more human interaction for the day. i'm not sure if OP feels like this, but it seems that i can relate to the post. everyone seems to tied up with their own little circle of friends to even give me a chance. everyone is always buried in their phones too. so why should i even bother?
everyone seems to tied up with their own little circle of friends to even give me a chance. everyone is always buried in their phones too. so why should i even bother?
And what exactly do your personal ill choices of people and your acts have to do with the world and WORLD not being cut for YOU? Usually, it's the other way around - YOU are not cut for the world, and that is easily explained. But blaming world after few things like that? That's awfully large ego to deal with.
Also, you, like most of people I know, toss word "friend" around liberally. Too liberally. You did not have friend at six. Very likely, none of people you mentioned are REAL friends. Real friends are very very very hard to come by. Acquaintances you did have, that's true. Not friends.
GFY. He pretty much admitted friendlessness at the moment--but who are you to assume who was or wasn't his "friend" (arbitrary term anyway) in the past?
He seems cut out for the world just fine, given his post. What does that even mean? I for one would be much more likely to be an Ovaninek fan than a ukrkoz fan...ultimately, anyone who doesn't have a debilitating illness is "cut out for the world" from a pure survival standpoint--the people you happen to be surrounded by is pretty much a matter of genetic "luck", beyond your control, and the non-human environment that happens to constitute your localized setting is also "luck"/beond your control. Not being cut out for a certain segment of the world is a far cry from not being cut out for the world (and I of all people can stand to absorb this reminder...underlying subconscious motives for posting FTW)
What you describe are experiences perfectly designed for you to choose how your reactions and choices can help to fulfill the very reason why you are in this world.
I often struggled with feelings of not belonging. Sometimes even trying to make the effort to be more positive every day, I find myself met with seemingly undeserved contempt in some way, from somebody. But, I ask my question "what do I want in my life, what am I for?" It's a good place to start. I think we can be either a constructive or destructive influence in society. Everybody has their own definition of purpose in this life. Some think there isn't one. But I think these experiences are necessary for our real evolution, influence works both ways.
If there is any purpose worth living for, it may just be to make even the slightest positive influence on somebody every day, and particularly, those who treat us badly, hard though it seems. If you encounter somebody very negative, or behaving in an unusual way, avoid the temptation to be reactive and angry, keep any drama to a minimum, keep the whole emotional tension low, and don't let it be personal. It isn't. It is a reflection of what is happening in their mind. Whatever you can do to pacify a tricky situation with people, in any way, you are in my opinion making the world slightly better, making the better of a worse situation that may have otherwise occurred. It's easier to give in to temptation, reacting angrily and then feeling meaningless, thinking you aren't useful in this world. But keep onto the bigger picture, realize none of this change of perspective happens over night, every day remind yourself to keep your own council.
To have a friend you must also BE a friend, the problem is, people are not perfect. When they do something to you, it is through forgiveness that you usually make a long time friend. Keep in mind that everybody has something that will pop up eventually and you may as well accept that or you will never have any long lasting friends.
I don't know why your wife didn't like your friends or why you quit being their friend because she didn't but I would just have to wonder how bad they felt when they got dumped by you.
I have had very different life experiences from the people I grew up with, and I went through the "the people who you think are your friends are not your friends" thing the second I hit a serious road bump. Maybe I wasn't such a great friend either...I don't know and don't care. The older I get, the more I realize that I really don't like, relate to or want to hang out with most people. I have my soulmate to keep me company and friends I go out with for food and drinks ocassionally.
Before, when I had "deep" friendships, it was constant drama and harrassment. Someone was always fighting, talking about the other one's back, dwelling on trivial issues and whatever. I got NOTHING out of it. I don't need all that.
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Actually I have been told alot recently that people are glad they're not me
