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I was bullied relentlessly from seventh grade through college and it has definitely left its scar on me. Was anybody else on this forum bullied as a child and if so, how has it effected your life as an adult?
Here are some things I deal with as a result of it.
-Very low self esteem
-Extreme difficulty forming close relationships with others
-Too many times I take jokes personally as insults when they are not
-Sexuality insecurity: I was called "gay boy" all through school. As a result I am very insecure of doing anything that might possibly make me look gay i.e. enjoying the arts or culture or trying to become close friends with another guy. Please don't turn this into a gay debate. Thanks!
-Afraid to be myself around others so I act however I think whatever group I am with would want me to act.
-Difficulty making decisions and being confident in those decisions
-Chronic depression and lonliness
I was bullied relentlessly from seventh grade through college and it has definitely left its scar on me. Was anybody else on this forum bullied as a child and if so, how has it effected your life as an adult?
Here are some things I deal with as a result of it.
-Very low self esteem
-Extreme difficulty forming close relationships with others
-Too many times I take jokes personally as insults when they are not
-Sexuality insecurity: I was called "gay boy" all through school. As a result I am very insecure of doing anything that might possibly make me look gay i.e. enjoying the arts or culture or trying to become close friends with another guy. Please don't turn this into a gay debate. Thanks!
-Afraid to be myself around others so I act however I think whatever group I am with would want me to act.
-Difficulty making decisions and being confident in those decisions
-Chronic depression and lonliness
Pretty much the same problems as you. I was bullied off and on throughout my school years, socially excluded, and we moved around a lot which didn't help matters. I was the outcast everywhere we went.
I put up walls around myself and don't want to let people in, see no reason to. Although it'd be nice to have friends and significant others, I don't like people much and though I've gotten better since being on antidepressants, I feel pretty unfriendly and hostile toward others.
Was anybody else on this forum bullied as a child and if so, how has it effected your life as an adult?
I was and i have no problem about it.
Now,i would without any problem hit that person in a head or verbally humiliate him in front of anyone and then go home and sleep calm like a baby .
I believe it*s called "to be vindictive".
I was bullied and made fun of from 5th grade until I graduated from high school. You couldn't pay me enough to go relive those years!
The positive results from this are:
I've grown a thicker skin, and the older I get, the less I care what others think of me.
I have compassion for people who are different.
I have no use for cliques, clubs, and the "herd mentality".
Of course, the negative results are:
Lack of ability to trust in friendships (are people talking about me behind my back?).
Feeling like I'm always on the outside looking in, as if I don't "fit" anywhere.
Lack of self-confidence and self-esteem, which leads to me being terribly shy and introverted at parties, etc.
Withdrawing from society, because I feel better when I'm isolated and alone.
Wary of doing anything in groups, because inevitably cliques and little alliances pop up (usually excluding me).
So, yes, the effects are far-reaching. I probably need therapy! Instead, I've made an uneasy kind of peace within myself. I wouldn't wish my past on anyone. It was incredibly difficult.
I was bullied and made fun of from 5th grade until I graduated from high school. You couldn't pay me enough to go relive those years!
The positive results from this are:
I've grown a thicker skin, and the older I get, the less I care what others think of me.
I have compassion for people who are different.
I have no use for cliques, clubs, and the "herd mentality".
Of course, the negative results are:
Lack of ability to trust in friendships (are people talking about me behind my back?).
Feeling like I'm always on the outside looking in, as if I don't "fit" anywhere.
Lack of self-confidence and self-esteem, which leads to me being terribly shy and introverted at parties, etc.
Withdrawing from society, because I feel better when I'm isolated and alone.
Wary of doing anything in groups, because inevitably cliques and little alliances pop up (usually excluding me).
So, yes, the effects are far-reaching. I probably need therapy! Instead, I've made an uneasy kind of peace within myself. I wouldn't wish my past on anyone. It was incredibly difficult.
Sounds similar to myself. The first time I ever had a friend for more than a couple of months was when I was 23. I've moved a few times since then so I've had to start making friends over again which isn't fun in my position. It's hard for me to even send texts let alone call them because of an innate fear that anyone who shows me any compassion will turn against me like they did from grads 7 through college.
For me though, I don't want to spend all my time alone and I still desire to fit in. I also struggle with trying to fulfill things I feel I lost in my teenage years. I am 27 now and I should be married or seriously thinking about it but I am stuck in a hybrid teen/adult phase. I have the maturity of an adult but my priorities are more that of somebody younger than me. It always feels like I am one step behind no matter what I do.
I know I need therapy but its so expensive. This hit me recently when I moved back to my hometown and visited the church I grew up in and was bullied at (yes, I was even bullied in church). Being back in that place brought back feelings I thought I had let go of and did quite a bit of damage to my feeling of self-worth.
I was bullied from 2nd grade onwards, and I didn't break its hold over me until I stopped believing that what people said about me was true. They don't decide who I am; I do. Go ahead and get angry at them; it sounds as if you were taking what they said about you very seriously to this day. You do NOT need to worry about pleasing those adzeholes and you are NOT responsible for living up to their standrads. The truth is that they needed someone to pick on to make them feel like big shots, and you got elected. It's not a comment on you; it's a comment on them.
I was. Middle School was the worst. I wouldn't go back in time if you gave me millions of dollars!
As a result I am shy, have had self esteem issues, trust issues, problems fitting in, paranoia that people are talking about me, trying too hard to make people like me which results in being taken advantage of.
Seems like most women my age have a clique of friends. I do not which makes me socially awkward at parties and social events. This makes me look like a b**** instead of just being shy and socially awkward.
I was bullied from 2nd grade onwards, and I didn't break its hold over me until I stopped believing that what people said about me was true. They don't decide who I am; I do. Go ahead and get angry at them; it sounds as if you were taking what they said about you very seriously to this day. You do NOT need to worry about pleasing those adzeholes and you are NOT responsible for living up to their standrads. The truth is that they needed someone to pick on to make them feel like big shots, and you got elected. It's not a comment on you; it's a comment on them.
That's true, but for me I went to two different middle schools, two different high schools, and several churches along the way and I was that target at all of them. It even lingered into my college years. There is something different about me that makes me more susceptible to bullying. Even today, though I no longer deal with bullying, I do have problems making friends and people manipulating me or taking advantage of me. When I was in sixth grade, I was very confident in myself and did what I wanted to do matter what people thought. Today, I am very reserved and do my best to present a caracature of myself I think people want to see. Sometimes I don't know what "being myself" is anymore. My entire life, being myself was never good enough. Not for my "friends", peers at school, peers at church, or even my family.
Moving around a lot must have been awful, but I went to school with the same bunch of people from Kindergarten on, and it never made a difference. Once other kids started teasing and making fun of me, there was no getting away from it. I remember in high school these two girls were talking about me; they were only a few steps away as if I couldn't hear them!
I went to one high school reunion. One girl who had bullied me proceeded to apologize one night (it was a pre-reunion mixer at a local bar) and then ignore me the next night at the actual reunion. Really? I haven't been to another official reunion ever since.
Another effect of the bullying is that when I did finally get to college, and guys started paying attention to me and asking me out, I was vulnerable to almost anyone's attention! I married the wrong man partly from a desperate need to attach to someone. Of course, that turned out to be a huge mistake, and I divorced him six years (and two kids) later.
Moving around a lot must have been awful, but I went to school with the same bunch of people from Kindergarten on, and it never made a difference. Once other kids started teasing and making fun of me, there was no getting away from it. I remember in high school these two girls were talking about me; they were only a few steps away as if I couldn't hear them!
This reminds me of a church guys camping trip I went in when I was high school to the Rocky Mountains. The guys in the tents around me were all talking about me and making fun of me as if I couldn't hear them. They then proceeded to tell me I couldn't go hiking with them and we would stop at a convenience store or something they would block the door so I couldn't go in with them. I know guys shouldn't cry but I spent a majority of that trip alone in the church van crying. The one guy who had previously been my friend turned against me and joined in with them. Sad thing is even the youth leader wouldn't stick up for me.
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I haven't been to another official reunion ever since.
