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I see what you mean.. i was trying to be non judgmental. I think a lot of things pop up in us when stuff happens that we don't expect. we think we are so good, and then something happens and it changes our attitudes.
I am mid-aged and I have changed some of my attitudes from when i was a teenager. life experiences have done that but now i also have changed somewhat for the better, some for the worse haha! my friends would be able to verify that!
I still believe some things are not necessarily good or bad, they just are what they are. but hoepfully if something comes up that needs to be changed, it may have been a good thing that incident happens so that we can find out whats lurking inside and then work to change it if we dont like that.
Yeah the point I'm trying to make is that people are not born racist. Racism is learned not inherited
Especially if a person keeps getting some bad things happen to them, and the criminals have a certain physical trait, they will then, rate the next person who looks like that as harmful and they will possibly fear or loath them or hate them, and distrust anyone who looks like them but is really benighn. (pavlov's dog reaction).
There is also the fact that you were angry, and your reflex was to attack. This doesn't necessarily mean that you carry racist feelings against her demographic.
You attacked what you saw, and what you saw was a Muslim person. If it had been a teenager, you might have experienced a flood of rage against young inexperienced drivers. If it had been a yuppie in a BMW, you might have felt a flash of hatred against douchebag arrogant white dudes. Without replacing the headscarf woman with some other person and replaying the scenario, you don't know how you would react.
You shouldn't feel ashamed about it. It's natural human instinct. Everyone has been racist at some point in their lives or are racist at some level. An example is a preference of dating only asian women. That is racist. My parents were immigrants too yet when I open my business I wouldn't discriminate on who I hire as long as they do their job and abide by policies. However, I run into instances all the time where a person of another color is feeding their stereotype.
I have so many examples: Asian lady who almost hit my car. Asian stereotype of bad drivers. Asian lady who refuses to date a asian man over a white man. Another stereotype. Black people who are loud in the movies while the white, asian and latin people are silent. black stereotype. Black people who are rude and don't move their feet while I try to find my seat in the movies then say something rude when I sit next to them. Black stereotype. Hispanic woman who looks to be 16 with a baby. Hispanic stereotype. Hispanic women who works as a maid. Hispanic stereotype. Middle eastern man who is rude to women. Middle east stereotype. Middle East woman who is arrogant/greedy another middle east stereotype.
These stereotypes go on and on. A funny example of these is the sitcom 30rock based on race and other stereotypes.
Where are the white stereotypes? You never run into that.
There is also the fact that you were angry, and your reflex was to attack. This doesn't necessarily mean that you carry racist feelings against her demographic.
You attacked what you saw, and what you saw was a Muslim person. If it had been a teenager, you might have experienced a flood of rage against young inexperienced drivers. If it had been a yuppie in a BMW, you might have felt a flash of hatred against douchebag arrogant white dudes. Without replacing the headscarf woman with some other person and replaying the scenario, you don't know how you would react.
Wow! Never thought of that! Very, very possible. In fact, if it had been a blonde Barbie-type driving a Ferrari (common in our area) I might have assumed a bimbo who was texting and didn't pay attention and I probably would have reacted with the same anger flash. Thanks, that's very interesting.
I think it's natural and human to look for ways to differentiate/separate ourselves from people whom we are angry at. If it had been a young punk with souped up car, or teen girl on the phone, or little old man driving obliviously, or a dressed up man in a $150,000 Beemer, we seem to almost automatically extrapolate their actions to whatever group they represent to us..."teens have no respect anymore! Rich people think they don't have to obey the rules! Old people should have their licenses taken away!" I don't think it means you are racist.
Wow! Never thought of that! Very, very possible. In fact, if it had been a blonde Barbie-type driving a Ferrari (common in our area) I might have assumed a bimbo who was texting and didn't pay attention and I probably would have reacted with the same anger flash. Thanks, that's very interesting.
In other words, don't worry, you're not going to be arrested by the police for saying something racist you're safe. You're not in the UK
Something happened that really shocked me about myself today. I was in a parking lot & drove up to a stop sign and stopped. All lanes were clear -- but about 5+ car lengths down was a car heading toward the intersection at normal parking lot speed (about 20-25 mph) and when she saw I was about to make a Left turn (she was going to drive straight thru the intersection, no stop sign on her side) she accelerated her speed to about 50 mph quickly and barreled thru causing me to stop short -- my car almost hit hers!
I felt such an incredibly strong wave of anger and -- I must admist -- racism (she was wearing a headscarf)!! I was very ashamed and upset with myself. You see, my parents were immigrants and I have lived my entire life in a very diverse environment. I hire people to work for me from all different backgrounds and have always taken pride in my liberal views. But when the anger was triggered, I had that overwhelming feeling. It has made me wonder about why I reacted this way....
We ALL experience these feelings at times.
I have had more than my fair share of negative experiences with White people and it is sometimes really very hard to remember that ALL White people are not like the rude, vulgar or ignorant ones that I have encountered. But usually what happens it that very every rude and nasty White person that I encounter, I will also encounter ones who are nice, intelligent and friendly.
You shouldn't feel ashamed about it. It's natural human instinct. Everyone has been racist at some point in their lives or are racist at some level. An example is a preference of dating only asian women. That is racist. My parents were immigrants too yet when I open my business I wouldn't discriminate on who I hire as long as they do their job and abide by policies. However, I run into instances all the time where a person of another color is feeding their stereotype.
I have so many examples:
Asian lady who almost hit my car. Asian stereotype of bad drivers. Asian lady who refuses to date a asian man over a white man. Another stereotype.
Black people who are loud in the movies while the white, asian and latin people are silent. black stereotype. Black people who are rude and don't move their feet while I try to find my seat in the movies then say something rude when I sit next to them. Black stereotype.
Hispanic woman who looks to be 16 with a baby. Hispanic stereotype. Hispanic women who works as a maid. Hispanic stereotype.
Middle eastern man who is rude to women. Middle east stereotype. Middle East woman who is arrogant/greedy another middle east stereotype.
These stereotypes go on and on. A funny example of these is the sitcom 30rock based on race and other stereotypes.
And then we have the White stereotypes....
The White sense of entitlement and automatic superiority - person who makes the assumption that they are automatically smarter, wealthier, deserve better treatment or service, deserve better possessions than a non-White person because their Whiteness entitles them to it
White people who assume that obviously they know more than the non-White person in any given situation
White people who are entitled to the better job, better school, better neighborhood, etc due to their Whiteness
White people who make inappropriate, vulgar, rude or racist comments yet expect non-White people to simply be "OK" with their rude behavior
White people believe that being White automatically makes them more attractive than other people (even when they look like Honey Boo Boo's mama )
White men and the tendency toward pedophilia and sexual deviance
White women are sexually aggressive and are more likely to sexually deviant
White people do not discipline their children in public and allow their children to misbehave
White men like to fetishize Asian women
White women like to fetishize Black men
White people are greedy, disloyal and untrustworthy
White people lack a general respect for other cultures
I recently had a hot flash of prejudice types feelings, but it wasn't race based rather culture/class based. I sit in bumper to bumper traffic every morning and I normally see this pan handler who I've known for years now. He usually comes up to my car and we chat. I moved my car a tiny bit (<1 mile/hr) and loved tapped the guy in front of me. I was trying to move for another car. This guy gets out of his car so angry. There wasn't damage or anything and I could have physically pushed his car harder with my own two hands. Well, he was in an audi, looked to be in his 50s, and was a suit...that's how I referred to him in my head. A pompous ass of a suit. He flipped out on the pan handler I was talking to and then whipped out his phone and called the police. There is no way the city police were going to come for such a thing. They told him to bug off. It was dumb and he was such a d*ck about it. But, I had a mental tirade in my head about suits, what they stand for in the US, their worthless professions, plastic people, etc, so I wasn't really any better than him in the end.
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you're safe. You're not in the UK 
