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Ruth, none of the recipients are children and all but the wedding gift were sent to people out of the area. I understand that some older wedding etiquette books give a year to send out thank you notes but I truly doubt that if they have not been sent by the 6 month mark, they won't get sent at all. At least I know that the check was cashed, but the other in the other situations, I had no way of knowing if they had been delivered if I did not contact the shipping/delivery agent. One was a donation in the name of a deceased, one was flowers, one was a meal sent to a bereaved family and one was a shower gift that I was unable to attend. As I said, I think it is common courtesy to at the very least acknowledge that a gift was received.
For Christmas, I hand deliver my presents and don't really look for thank you notes.
Of course it is. I just went through this with my own brother; I e-mailed him to ask if he received my Xmas present. The entire time both brothers' kids were growing up (total of 5 kids), I never received a thank-you note, or acknowledgement. (The presents were mailed most of the time.) As soon as they were all 18, I announced that I was done giving presents.
I was raised that when someone gave us a gift that we send them a thank you card. I know the internet has changed that a lot but still a person can say thank-you, send you a thank-you email, or give you a call. I raised my children to always say thank you when someone give them a gift or does something for them.
I always say thank you, no matter if I was given a gift or a glass of water. I remember myself being a kid not saying that word at all. When I was 15 I realized it was compulsory, and now I thank people all the time, regardless of how insignificant something they done for me is.
I sometimes loan things to people like tools. With a few young people (20's), not only do they not say thank you, they also don't return the tool. After a month or so I call them and ask if done using my tool. Then they say "Yes I am done with it. YOU can come pick it up!"
I don't loan tools to those people anymore.
(With older people, they will return it the same day, they bring it back to me, and they say Thank You! Sometimes they will bring me a treat like cookies or whatever.)
Birthday and Christmas gifts - I don't need a "thank you," but I would like to know if anything I have shipped/mailed was actually received. A phone call letting me know the gift made its way to the right home is something I do want to receive. Or an email. Or even a post on FB . . . but I want to know the item got the right person.
As for wedding gifts and shower gifts . . . if I attend the shower, I don't need another "thank you." I was probably thanked at the shower and to be honest, these are "obligatory" gifts - you are invited to an event where the sole purpose is to bring a gift, lol. So . . . that is no big deal to me. A wedding gift, however, I do expect an acknowledgement for - as that is typically a gift that is either left on a table somewhere or mailed/delivered. And since I do not send inexpensive wedding gifts, I do feel the least the bridal couple can do is show some gratitude while also confirming they did receive the gift.
As for funeral memorials . . . someone mentioned that . . . I do NOT think it is necessary to acknowledge memorial gifts made to various organizations (such as the American Cancer Society) as 1. my check serves to prove the donation was received and deposited properly and 2. the organization should be sending out an acknowledgement of the donation in memory of the person designated. The family is not necessarily even going to know that I made that donation and the point in making it was not to honor the family in any way - it was to honor the deceased. Organizations do typically send a list of donors to the family, but I would never assume that the family was aware of my donation and I have no reason to care that they would be.
The other way to "make sure" the family knows about a donation is to make it and when you receive the acknowledgement from the organization, you send that to the family showing your contribution. But again, that seems tacky as all get out to me. And expecting the family to acknowledge your donation once you sent them a "notice" - that just seems bizarre.
I, too, have noticed the total lack of manners. When I am shopping in a store and spending my money so that the cashier can continue to work his/her lame-ass job, the least they can do is say, "Thank you". It isn't necessary for them to say "for choosing to make purchases in this store when there are so many others competing for your dollars and thereby assuring that I'll have a job for at least the next foreseeable while."
MOF, it has annoyed me to the point that I have taken to accepting my change/receipt with a smile and a big, "You're welcome". Boy, howdy! The look of confusion is soooo worth it. And from time to time, it even prompts some to remember what Mom taught them and they manage a belated, "Thanks."
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