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When I was growing up, my parents told me to say please and thank you. If I'm at a store, usually the cashier doesn't say anything at all! Just a hello...rings me up, tells me my total, hands me change. I always say thank you, have a nice day or something. sometimes still no reply. But I usually get cashiers who still have some decency left in them. It's even worse for other people I know. They might do something for me, I'll say thank you, just get no reply. I wish I lived in a time when people had formal manners. Seems like a more polite world. I'm just polite to everybody. It feels good, and if they don't respond back how I expect, its quite awkward.
Lots of people are just so miserable and stressed these days. And at stores this is why I pick out a good happy looking cashier. Even if the miserable looking one has a short line.
I reckon so...Along with everything else.I guess too much it being given for free therefore many feel that it is owed to them anyways.I know a beautiful little girl 5 yrs.old who calls me her Gramzie altho I am of no relation,is being so spoiled buy her real Great Grandmother that it is beginning to ruin the little girl.
Her G.G.does everything that the little girl ask,no matter what!
She will drop anything she might be doing just to go out EVERYDAY and take the child where ever she wonts to go.She gets a new toy EVERYDAY...Walmart...Ice Cream...Park...Water Park..Chuckie Cheese....
This little girl drinks all the juicey drinks she wonts untill the point of peeing in the bed almost everynight.All the candy and sweets she can eat in a big bowl put out for the child so she can eat all she wonts....And the G.G.laughfs about the child being spoiled.The G.G.raised her daughter this same way or so Im told this would also be the childs Grandmother and she turned out spoiled and on drugs to this day.
This little girl is my sons girlfriends daughter.When we first met the little girl she took to me and my husband like crazy..At one point I kept her quite a bit and she loved it.I would read to her and tell her stories,sing just spend quality time with her.She was full of questions about life so I would answer in a way she could understand.
I limeted her liquid intake through the days I had her with me and she stopped wetting the bed.
I let her help me cook a little and she started eating homemade food that she had never ate before.I couldnt belive the foods she had never tried.Her G.G.takes her to McDonalds everyday.She started not wanting to even leave our house to visit her G.G.I would saydont you wont to go see your G.G.she will probley take you to buy something.Once she replyed Oh Gramzie I dont care about that stuff....So sad.Now I guess The G.G. has been telling her that we arnt her real family and so I hardly see her anymore,Im told she speakes of us all the time and says she misses us.
The point is I was working with her and she was learning such good manners and truely blossoming smileing all the time and now they say she is being mean and sassy.I hate that it seems she will be raised up spoiled with no true manners but there really isnt anything I can do at this point and time.
Maybe if my son ever marries the girlfriend and she actually gets away from the overbearing senceless Grandmother the child will have a normal chance in life.Im sure most Grandmothers are not this way,I know Im not with my own grandchild.This Is the first time Ive ever heard of a case this bad.
I come from a lineage of women who were knowledgeable of etiquette, including the reasons for various etiquette practices.
My mother taught me, as did all of my employers in retail jobs, that it is IMPERATIVE to say "thank you" to every customer at the moment a payment is made.
When someone doesn't say thank you, they may not realize that they are alienating some of their customers, and leaving them with an "off" impression of rudeness and ingratitude regarding the business.
All of my early retail employers told me, "The two most important words in business are 'thank you.' If you don't thank a person for their money, it goes away." In other words, it hurts the business you are working for, over time, to not thank customers for their expenditures at each time of payment.
The purpose is to express gratitude specifically for that person's choice to spend their hard-earned money at the business. It is absolutely rude and ungrateful of peoples' money to not specifically say "Thank you" when cash, check or credit card payment are received.
Any time someone gives us money, it is not only courteous and respectful to say "thank you," it is intelligent. If we want people to keep giving us money, it is intelligent to give them positive reinforcement when they do so! That goes for the employee thanking the employer each time they are paid. They should at least thank the person who hands them their paycheck, and if the supervisor or owner is nearby, nod to the check or wave it a little and say "thank you!"
But perhaps the most useful reason for a business requiring employees to say "Thank you" at the moment of payment is because it is humbling to thank people for the money we get from them. Even if saying "thank you" is required (as it should be) by the employer, I have always found that saying it in that moment of payment humbles me, reminds me that I am paid to serve the customer, and motivates me more and more, each time I say it, to give the best customer service I can.
I have noticed that cashiers who say "thank you" make more effort to provide polite, helpful customer service. The two go hand in hand.
Please note: my mother taught me that it is NOT correct etiquette for the customer to thank the cashier for cashiering! Cashiering is the person's basic job duty: to collect the customer's money. If the cashier goes out of their way to provide extra service, such as arranging a special order, then a "thank you" is appropriate.
The proper thing to say to the cashier is "You're welcome" in response to the cashier saying "Thank you."
Finally, she taught me that it is considered bad etiquette--impolite--for a cashier or retail employee to say, "Have a nice day," for the following reasons.
First, it is never appropriate or good manners to dictate how other people should feel, including whether they have a "nice" day or not. People have a right to feel however they feel, and to have whatever kind of day they feel. The purpose of etiquette rules or guidelines is to remind us of ways of being considerate of others *that might not occur to us if we were never taught etiquette.*
(That is why it is important to read etiquette books, versus "winging it" or simply acting with "good intentions.")
Second, a person may have just suffered a loss or tragedy, in which case the words "Have a nice day" may be "off," insensitive, awkward, or even painful. It is polite to steer clear of such commentary with people we don't know well, such as customers and acquaintances, because we don't know nor are entitled to know about the personal lives of people, in particular, with whom we are not close. It treats people with tact and dignity to allow them their private lives and feelings.
Third, saying "Have a nice day" does not mean the same thing as "thank you," and is not the humbling act of stating appreciation for the money someone has just kindly given to us. Too often, cashiers say "Have a nice day," and then skip the "thank you," figuring that "Have a nice day" is enough, or the same thing, which it is not. So it is better to just stick with "Thank you," to ensure no lapse in saying those 2 most-important words.
Business owners and supervisors should train and require their employees to always say "thank you" at the time money is received, tell those employees it helps the businesses' bottom line, tell them that "Have a nice day" can be insensitive and is not a substitute for thanking people for payment, and then listen to their clerks and cashiers each time they are interacting with a customer to make sure that the employee is always saying "thank you" to each and every customer at time of payment.
(If an employee forgets, the supervisor should privately and promptly correct the cashier. Employees who repeatedly forget to thank customers at time of payment should be let go, because it is simply too rude and disrespectful, and harmful to the business.)
And the customer should always reply with, "You're welcome."
Were any of these gifts given to a child? Then the parents should be teaching the child to acknowledge gifts. This rarely happens any more, though. If you're not receiving thank-you's for your gifts, you might consider crossing that person off your gift-giving list. How do you fare at Christmas, btw?
I agree with this.
I recently sent handmade pearl necklaces to my friend for her birthday, and to her adult daughter for her college graduation. In my friend's thank you note, she wrote that her daughter asked her mother to say thank you to me in the note because the daughter was too busy with her new job to send a thank you.
I sometimes loan things to people like tools. With a few young people (20's), not only do they not say thank you, they also don't return the tool. After a month or so I call them and ask if done using my tool. Then they say "Yes I am done with it. YOU can come pick it up!"
I don't loan tools to those people anymore.
(With older people, they will return it the same day, they bring it back to me, and they say Thank You! Sometimes they will bring me a treat like cookies or whatever.)
I've stopped loaning tools to anyone, or books.
When people ask why I won't loan them out, I say, "Because unfortunately, despite peoples' promises, too many, including college professors, have not returned my books or tools. However, I'd be happy to write down the title for you."
I think it's nervy for people to ask to borrow books for this reason.
And with tools, I don't mind if it's to fix their car, when their car is parked in my driveway.
It's a shame.
It helps to put one's name and phone number on a huge note attached to the front of the item, and ask them if they promise to return it within 24 hours.
You seem like a real delight. Unless it's a family owned store, I don't see why a cashier should be thanking a customer for deciding to shop at the place he/she just happens to work. Do you really think that a teenager working as a cashier has a personal stake in the company? It's up to the managers and corporate managers to convey the message that they appreciate your business, not the individuals working to make minimum wage. My job is to ring up your merchandise and process the transaction as fast as possible, be cordial, and send you on your way. I usually say "Have a good day", but even when it's night time, I say the same thing because it's stamped into my brain.
Now, instead of becoming extremely upset or in this poster's case (denigrating all cashiers who use the phrase and ironically being very rude), it would be more beneficial for humans to not focus on the literal meanings of phrases too much and instead focus on the intended and hopefully true message behind them.
I was shocked and dismayed by your comment.
I hope you will read my posts (Jan. 24, 2015) regarding WHY it is imperative for cashiers to say, "Thank you" at the time of payment, and rude to not do so; and my post regarding "No problem."
Sometimes youngsters can learn valuable insights from people older than they are.
I come from a lineage of women who were knowledgeable of etiquette, including the reasons for various etiquette practices.
My mother taught me, as did all of my employers in retail jobs, that it is IMPERATIVE to say "thank you" to every customer at the moment a payment is made.
When someone doesn't say thank you, they may not realize that they are alienating some of their customers, and leaving them with an "off" impression of rudeness and ingratitude regarding the business.
All of my early retail employers told me, "The two most important words in business are 'thank you.' If you don't thank a person for their money, it goes away." In other words, it hurts the business you are working for, over time, to not thank customers for their expenditures at each time of payment.
The purpose is to express gratitude specifically for that person's choice to spend their hard-earned money at the business. It is absolutely rude and ungrateful of peoples' money to not specifically say "Thank you" when cash, check or credit card payment are received.
Any time someone gives us money, it is not only courteous and respectful to say "thank you," it is intelligent. If we want people to keep giving us money, it is intelligent to give them positive reinforcement when they do so! That goes for the employee thanking the employer each time they are paid. They should at least thank the person who hands them their paycheck, and if the supervisor or owner is nearby, nod to the check or wave it a little and say "thank you!"
But perhaps the most useful reason for a business requiring employees to say "Thank you" at the moment of payment is because it is humbling to thank people for the money we get from them. Even if saying "thank you" is required (as it should be) by the employer, I have always found that saying it in that moment of payment humbles me, reminds me that I am paid to serve the customer, and motivates me more and more, each time I say it, to give the best customer service I can.
I have noticed that cashiers who say "thank you" make more effort to provide polite, helpful customer service. The two go hand in hand.
Please note: my mother taught me that it is NOT correct etiquette for the customer to thank the cashier for cashiering! Cashiering is the person's basic job duty: to collect the customer's money. If the cashier goes out of their way to provide extra service, such as arranging a special order, then a "thank you" is appropriate.
The proper thing to say to the cashier is "You're welcome" in response to the cashier saying "Thank you."
Finally, she taught me that it is considered bad etiquette--impolite--for a cashier or retail employee to say, "Have a nice day," for the following reasons.
First, it is never appropriate or good manners to dictate how other people should feel, including whether they have a "nice" day or not. People have a right to feel however they feel, and to have whatever kind of day they feel. The purpose of etiquette rules or guidelines is to remind us of ways of being considerate of others *that might not occur to us if we were never taught etiquette.*
(That is why it is important to read etiquette books, versus "winging it" or simply acting with "good intentions.")
Second, a person may have just suffered a loss or tragedy, in which case the words "Have a nice day" may be "off," insensitive, awkward, or even painful. It is polite to steer clear of such commentary with people we don't know well, such as customers and acquaintances, because we don't know nor are entitled to know about the personal lives of people, in particular, with whom we are not close. It treats people with tact and dignity to allow them their private lives and feelings.
Third, saying "Have a nice day" does not mean the same thing as "thank you," and is not the humbling act of stating appreciation for the money someone has just kindly given to us. Too often, cashiers say "Have a nice day," and then skip the "thank you," figuring that "Have a nice day" is enough, or the same thing, which it is not. So it is better to just stick with "Thank you," to ensure no lapse in saying those 2 most-important words.
Business owners and supervisors should train and require their employees to always say "thank you" at the time money is received, tell those employees it helps the businesses' bottom line, tell them that "Have a nice day" can be insensitive and is not a substitute for thanking people for payment, and then listen to their clerks and cashiers each time they are interacting with a customer to make sure that the employee is always saying "thank you" to each and every customer at time of payment.
(If an employee forgets, the supervisor should privately and promptly correct the cashier. Employees who repeatedly forget to thank customers at time of payment should be let go, because it is simply too rude and disrespectful, and harmful to the business.)
And the customer should always reply with, "You're welcome."
Simple, polite, and good for business.
Yes to the bolded! Sadly, there were many times in my life when "being told to have a nice day" (or smile!) was rubbing salt in a wound - I was on way to a funeral, was awaiting news of a family member in surgery or hospital, etc..
Also - I suffered several pregnancy losses before the birth of my daughter, I hated it when cashiers would say "Happy Mother's Day" just because I was a woman.
Around 15 years ago, when I first noticed employees at small, locally owned businesses (bookstores, restaurants) in my town not saying thank you upon receipt of payment, I began to notice something else.
Those businesses were the first to go out of business.
It didn't surprise me.
I noticed when I first started working retail in small businesses, saying "Thank you" upon receipt of payment, though required, humbled and motivated me more each time to give better customer service.
I have noticed that cashiers who say thank you also give better service. The two go hand in hand.
Try saying "thank you" to customers when they pay, and see what happens to you, your attitude, your level of customer service, and to your interactions.
Seems it has. I say it sometimes, with strangers, but rarely with family. Heck, when on the phone with family, I rarely say "bye" when hanging up. It's just "Alright." lol My father does the same thing. lol
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No wonder No Manners!!!
