U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-05-2013, 06:25 PM
 
331 posts, read 349,459 times
Reputation: 197

Advertisements

I'm a big psychology geek (I minored in it) and enjoy observing human behavior. Lately I've noticed that many of my friends tend to act a certain way when I'm having one-to-one conversations with them, but behave differently when they're in the presence of other people. This phenomenon is discussed in more detail here: Reasons Why Our Behavior Changes Based On Who We’re With

I've especially noticed this in the workplace. Some people are nice and polite when having one-to-one conversations, but become jerks when they're around others who act like jerks themselves. I feel it's because people have an innate drive to fit in, and in the end, they're looking out for themselves.

The mindset is something along these lines: "If the jerk in accounting can help me get a promotion, I'll try to mirror his personality as much as possible -- whether by telling similar jokes, acting as silly as he does, etc. That way, he'll like me more and thus do his part to get me the promotion."

It's amazing how people take on different personas when it's most convenient for them.

Have you guys noticed this in anyone you know?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-05-2013, 08:18 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
30,025 posts, read 20,973,120 times
Reputation: 48980
Well, there are the people who manage other people who are truly gifted. You will see that person stern with some employees, and comforting with others. With his or her peers you might see a different side altogether.

I don't necessarily think that different behaviors with different people is indication of being jerky or sheep like.

It is true that one or two people can sometimes lower the level of discourse in a group, or influence others to slack off or have some other bad effect. But others will have the opposite effects.

If people are influenced by bad behavior, then they are probably also influenced by good behavior.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-05-2013, 09:06 PM
 
4,761 posts, read 13,078,249 times
Reputation: 7920
I've worked with the public most of my life. And the more I did so, the more I became like a "mirror" to whoever I was talking to (speak their same lingo). Or like a politician who talks one way to one group of people and an entirely different way to a different group of people.

This is along the lines of "kneeling down" when talking to a small child. They are more comfortable talking with you if you are at their same height.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-06-2013, 12:08 PM
 
1,697 posts, read 4,058,565 times
Reputation: 3918
It's interesting to consider the 2 main motivations behind this phenomenon. One reason people adjust their persona to fit their company is to fit in and be accepted. The other reason is to appease and please others, make them feel comfortable. I see the persona shifting go on and when the object is to fit in, I view it as somewhat pathetic. However when the aim is to "people please" and make sure everyone is "happy" I feel bad for the person doing the acting because I know how taxing that can be.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-07-2013, 05:11 PM
 
331 posts, read 349,459 times
Reputation: 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
If people are influenced by bad behavior, then they are probably also influenced by good behavior.
Good point.

Sit a rowdy kid next to a quiet bookworm like me for a week and that kid will likely become softer around the edges!
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-07-2013, 07:03 PM
 
25 posts, read 87,455 times
Reputation: 61
Yeah I work with a lot of catty and two faced women.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-10-2013, 10:09 AM
 
13,526 posts, read 17,776,030 times
Reputation: 16493
I've seen that in many people. I think we humans will behave in any way that we feel will have the best results for us...at that time. We humans can be very deceiving as is evidenced by the guys who are well liked at work , but feared at home.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-11-2013, 08:35 PM
 
331 posts, read 349,459 times
Reputation: 197
I discovered that there's already a name for this kind of behavior -- herd mentality. It's amazing how human beings can be such chameleons.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-12-2013, 07:36 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,682 posts, read 51,312,577 times
Reputation: 11862
Definitely, the group or pack mentality is inbuilt into all of us. That's why mobs of people can do horrendous evil that an individual wouldn't dream of doing. It diffuses the responsibility. I'm sure we've all experienced in, perhaps back in school when we all participated in bullying someone in a group.

And yes, our behaviour is definitely influenced by who we're with. That's why I'm beginning to realise it's not always snobbish to want to avoid 'bad company.'
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-14-2013, 05:52 PM
 
331 posts, read 349,459 times
Reputation: 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Definitely, the group or pack mentality is inbuilt into all of us. That's why mobs of people can do horrendous evil that an individual wouldn't dream of doing. It diffuses the responsibility. I'm sure we've all experienced in, perhaps back in school when we all participated in bullying someone in a group.

And yes, our behaviour is definitely influenced by who we're with. That's why I'm beginning to realise it's not always snobbish to want to avoid 'bad company.'
This may also be linked to something I learned in Social Psychology called the "bystander effect." For example, a large group of students witnesses a kid being beat up by a bully, but not a single one of them steps in to come to the victim's aid.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2022, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top