Getting angry when someone cuts you off in traffic (adult, people)
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One thing we fail to do as a culture is educate our children on how to resolve anger and manage hostility while maintaining emotional control. That "talent," often called "emotional intelligence" can be developed, and is essential for handling the day to day indignities of life that can turn bad very quickly.
The movies glorify people who manage anger badly. Comic book superheroes act on emotional impulse, see violence as the first solution to every problem, and recklessly put lives and property at risk when they act. Yet, that is the ideal constantly promoted in comic books and Hollywood, who they often do a a better job of "educating" minds than any school or parent. When we see politicians "lose it," insult fellow politicians or candidates with name calling ... or threaten war as a first response to every disagreement, it only promotes bad anger management as the ideal. Just look at how badly many people treat each other in online posts! As we drift away from being a so-called "Christian" nation to a purely secular one it will only get worse.
The western ideal of "good guy violence" is a fallacy that so often poisons and retards our potential to get along without hostility, and is at the heart of road rage.
(Scenario) Waiting at a traffic light, to the right of me there is a car in a clearly marked RIGHT TURN
ONLY lane. As soon as the light turns green, he guns the engine to cut me off going straight. I lean on
the horn and the guy seemed suddenly startled, either like he did nothing wrong or "who was I to honk my
horn at him" even though he clearly was in the wrong.
Thing is, I contemplated gunning the engine myself in order to deny him the ability to cut me off but ended up just honking the horn instead. It pissed me off in a big way. I understand it shouldn't be a big deal and the correct thing to do would be just to leave it alone but I can't seem to do that and even if I do it still makes me angry and aggravated.
It doesn't bother me as much if I get cut off by someone on the highway or trying to catch an exit ramp but this was so blatant it was ridiculous. I can understand if someone gets in the wrong lane and wants to go straight, I'd be happy to let them in. This crap about blatantly using the empty right hand lane as a chance to cut off people going straight and avoid waiting though is aggravating and I've been driving long enough to tell the difference when someone is in the wrong lane and when they are there just to cut everyone off.
I used to have terrible road rage, when I was younger. I embarrassed myself one time with my gf and some friends in the car, and I realized I needed a change. I ended up changing my thinking, realizing that people were always going to drive like idiots, and the only thing I could do was just accept it. I feel like if you expect people to drive the way they ought to is a total set-up for failure. I often enjoy it now when people do stupid things on the road, because I know I changed for the better, and I feel a sense of accomplishment. I have also saved myself from a lot of anger past and present.
I too have had problems with getting angry at other drivers. I have worked very hard to calm down about it. While I never gave anyone the finger or yelled at anyone, I have done some dangerous driving maneuvers because of it, for instance passing in a no-passing zone to get around someone who pulled out in front of me, or going 90 mph to keep someone who was playing road rage with me to get back in the lead. Afterward I would always realize how stupid what I just did was, and how lucky I wasn't attached to the front of a semi coming the other way. Aside from the risk to my life (and those of others) I also never felt good afterward about it. Yes, I "won" by getting back in front, but the rest of my drive was unpleasant and filled with both anger and anxiety in my head. I also realized the extent my ego played in all of this (how dare this person do this to ME), and know that when I let my ego run the show, it usually doesn't result in decisions that are in my best interest!
I have really worked hard to be more calm and relaxed when driving, although it is very hard sometimes! I try to say to myself "I surrender" over and over and that helps, and overall I have gotten much, much better at not letting other drivers get to me.
I think the key is to understand that when you get in your car, that its everyone else's road, everyone else's world and you're just fortunate that they permit you to live in it. If you convince yourself that its the very inconsiderate person's road and its a privilege for you to even be ON his road to begin with, you might not get so angry when he, you know, drives on his road the way he wants to.
There are SO many irritating people out there who just don't know how to drive OR know how to drive and are reckless and don't care that i just thank my lucky stars when i get from point A to point B safely. I'm always concerned when people i love are driving somewhere and i know about it, just hoping that they get to where they are going safely, i love getting the text "here safe" that makes me feel really good about things.
The ironic thing about the road rage situations is that when a calm person who is normally a good driver gets mad at some idiot for doing something reckless and stupid and then themselves, do something stupid in return, that calm driver puts other people in danger (possibly) and then they become the "idiot" that they got mad at in the first place.
I know its SO hard to just "sit there and take it" and let someone run roughshod all over your rights, but i think its probably better to just thank your favorite supreme being that you didnt get injured and move on with your life.
I get angry when someone doesn't want to let me into their lane and I'm in a merge lane and I have my indicator on. When they purposely speed up to not let me get in front. And when I speed up they speed up even more. That aggravates me. What's the big deal if I get in front? I'm not testing my superiority. I'm trying to get home too. We will BOTH get there. Lol ugh!
I get angry when someone doesn't want to let me into their lane and I'm in a merge lane and I have my indicator on. When they purposely speed up to not let me get in front. And when I speed up they speed up even more. That aggravates me. What's the big deal if I get in front? I'm not testing my superiority. I'm trying to get home too. We will BOTH get there. Lol ugh!
had this happen to me a couple days ago...this joke speeds up to prevent me from passing him. Had to merge as construction was ahead. His speeding up totally irked me, so I honked my horn as he passes so that he knows how rude he was!
we reach the traffic light and when it turns green now, he reacts slowly. Deliberately perhaps. I honk again for him to get going and he flings his arms up and just doesn't move the car. I had enough space to get around him and just gave him the bird as I went by..
Driving can be a mental exercise and that guy was certainly looking out for himself. I have people who depend on me to come back home so I have to remember that fighting with those kinds of drivers or even engaging them is not my goal on the road.
The driver's lack of reaction or his sense of innocence is the reason why I would let it go. But you are right to think less of the dude.
we live in a crazy world today and for your own personal safty, I wouldn't engage these people. the situation can easily escalate out of control. when we leave our home in the morning to go to school or work, it's no sure thing we will get back home at the end of the day. like the victims of the navy yard shooting or sandy hook small victims. we don't know these people who are driving as such or what they are capable of and we cant judge them by the type of car they drive either. let it go it's not worth it .
I hate when people move into another lane when they know that lane is going to merge in another 100 feet. But, sometimes I think, wouldn't traffic move faster if the lanes were evenly distributed and the merge operated like a zipper merge. I guess this depends on the specific stretch of road, but I see a lot of situations like this daily on my commute.
Another pet peeve of mine involves this one intersection I encounter every day. Before the left turn lane opens up, there is a left turn into a side street (literally right before the left turn lane). A lot of times, cars turn left into the side street so if I see cars moving into the left lane, I will wait until it technically opens up. Inevitably, there are always people who enter earlier and force me to cut them off in a sense. They probably think I'm the bad driver, when I'm following the rules. Anyone else have situations like this?
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