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I don't know if this should go in this forum and I'm sorry if this is the wrong forum, but I need to get this off my chest.
This may sound odd, but I'm don't like being called smart. It's nice when people complement you about being smart the first few times, but when everyone says it in your class at the university it sets the bar so high that people expect you to know everything.
Today I got told I should focus on publishable work only and not spend as much time doing non publishable work. Between I'm an undergraduate. I'm just not happy any anymore. At first doing research I considered it as a hobby, but it's gotten to the point where it feels like work or a big weight. It give me headaches just thinking about it. Yes, publishing will look nice on my resume and is prestigious at my level, but it feels empty like I'm only doing this cause I can, but don't know if it's really worth it or care enough. I also didn't ask to do research. I was invited to a group meeting and things sorta just developed naturally. Out of this group I was only one with potential, but it feels empty. I'm also no sure about grad school. Truth is I don't really find the grad life very appealing, but maybe it's different at a top tier university. I guess I just feel like withdrawing socially, but I know that won't accomplish any thing.
Go and spend a couple of years in the Peace Corps. You sound like you need a rest. Your smartness will be useful and appreciated and you'll feel good about what you do. Nobody will ever hold those two years on your resume against you.
Compliments are a sure way to enslave someone! And I'm confused as to those who are forever fishing for compliments!
"You're the best worker we've ever had working here!"
And then? It puts stress on you to continually live up to that compliment, all the expectations! No matter what the compliment may be!
And now you know why you were complimented.
Any good manager knows that positive reinforcement is the best way to increase productivity from most workers. A few people, usually the most gifted, react better to negative feedback. As a manager (and parent) I always preferred to keep it positive as much as possible. It created a happier staff (and family). I was happier too, if I wasn't hounding someone to do better all the time.
The OP needs to hang out with smarter people. Grad school would the best place for that.
I've also heard that publishing as an undergrad won't help too much as well, as undergrads just don't have the necessary experience/talent/ideas that someone in graduate school can obtain/work on.
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IMO, just continue to work hard, do well in school for you, and if people continue what you feel is patronizing, then just ignore them. You don't need to impress them, you need to focus and finish your schooling.
If you don't want to go to grad school, don't. But there was a reason why you chose your field of study, whatever that was.
When I was a little girl, once it became clear that I did well in school and I must've done well on some early standardized tests, I got the "smart" label, and it was often hard to live with. At some point after parent teacher conferences in 1st grade it started...
Whenever I would get in trouble for something at home, like not putting my bike away for example, I'd have to hear from my parents (yelling) "Smartest girl in the class and you can't even figure out that you have to put your bike away!" Then maybe I'd get in trouble for something else, like getting home from school 15 minutes late because I was looking at caterpillers, and I'd hear "Smartest girl in the class and you can't even get home on time because you were looking at bugs!"
I got so sick of that "smartest girl in the class" thing. I used to wonder what they would say if I actually did something "bad" like other kids dared to do.
The label also used to upset me in school with peers. Imagine being teased because you're the only one who got a 100 on a test (of course the teacher had to make it known to the whole class). then by junior high, kids got the idea that "smart" equaled "goody goody." So somehow because I got good grades and was in advanced classes, I must be someone who would rat on people who cut class or smoked in the bathroom. I must be someone who would never make out with boys or go to no-adults parties, so you'd better not invite me.
It toned down a bit by high school, as there were more "smart" kids who cared about doing well and going to college. I'm sure others still talked disparagingly about us "smart" kids, but I didn't really hear it.
In college, it sort of hit me in a different way. First I had to hear "you got THAT on your SAT's and you came here, to a State school???" Then I'd hear, "Why are you a Psych major? You're so smart!"
Well, psych was what interested me. But that didn't matter. I guess I was supposed to be a pre-med or finance major, because that's what was expected of "smart" people, even if those fields didn't interest me.
Then I would sometimes get other students asking for me to help them in a class, because they thought I was "smart." That, I didn't mind, if they sincerely wanted help. But some would just want to be my partner for research projects because they figured I would do all the work and get us all a good grade.
Somewhere in the middle of college, I embraced the "smart" thing and enjoyed shocking people with it. I was always at the parties, out all night, drinking, etc, and later when people learned I had a 4.0 they would be shocked and say they figured I wasn't so great a student because I was so fun and was always hanging out. Wow, the blond party girl has a brain!
Then I began working in the mental health field, and I decided to go to grad school. I wanted an MSW so I could get licensed as a therapist. I heard from people "Clinical social work? but you're so smart, I thought you would want to be successful!" So getting an advanced degree so I could work in a field I was very interested in was NOT successful?
What I did learn later is that I'm grateful to have intelligence, and I shouldn't take it for granted, as I meet more and more people who don't have it. I like that I'm the go-to person when someone needs help writing a formal document or finding a solution to a problem in the company. People seem to respect my opinions (some C-D forums notwithstanding) because they recognize me as being somewhat "smart."
I just wanted to share that, OP, because I think you're in a temporary situation, struggling with the "smart" label. In the long run, you'll find it much more of an asset than a liability.
Hmm considering you type like me, I'd say you are mediocre smart. Lol
I'm an engineer major. Most of us don't write very well. I can write good papers, but I need to go through several drafts. One of the professors said that we engineer majors don't write enough, which I agree. In engineering, physics, or any of the hard science majors you can do well without having to write well, which is why most grads are foreigners since writing well isn't as important.
I don't know if this should go in this forum and I'm sorry if this is the wrong forum, but I need to get this off my chest.
This may sound odd, but I'm don't like being called smart. It's nice when people complement you about being smart the first few times, but when everyone says it in your class at the university it sets the bar so high that people expect you to know everything.
Today I got told I should focus on publishable work only and not spend as much time doing non publishable work. Between I'm an undergraduate. I'm just not happy any anymore. At first doing research I considered it as a hobby, but it's gotten to the point where it feels like work or a big weight. It give me headaches just thinking about it. Yes, publishing will look nice on my resume and is prestigious at my level, but it feels empty like I'm only doing this cause I can, but don't know if it's really worth it or care enough. I also didn't ask to do research. I was invited to a group meeting and things sorta just developed naturally. Out of this group I was only one with potential, but it feels empty. I'm also no sure about grad school. Truth is I don't really find the grad life very appealing, but maybe it's different at a top tier university. I guess I just feel like withdrawing socially, but I know that won't accomplish any thing.
I can appreciate what you must be feeling, but imagine having to be referred to as "genius" everywhere you go...
"hey genius, it says don't walk!"
"hey genius, don't eat that!"
"hey genius, put some pants on!"
Compliments are a sure way to enslave someone! And I'm confused as to those who are forever fishing for compliments!
This x100.
I'm often told that refusing to accept a compliment is bad form. I suppose that's true for the occasional compliment in some situations where they aren't meant to speak to your entire character. But in general, I believe too many compliments handed out too regularly have a deleterious effect.
"Hey you just made a terrific drawing" is an example of an innocuous compliment.
Saying something open-ended like "you're such a great artist" many times a week can start to create issues.
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