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So I personally feel like i'm going through a quarter-life crisis. My family thinks I'm nuts but I really do feel that way. Now that I'm 22 (I'm close enough to 25 and I'm a mature-minded person ), graduating from University, and will be taking my boards soon, I just feel...like I didn't get all the things I wanted from these last 4 years. I felt like I deserved better. And I know a lot of people aren't going to like how this sounds but it's how I feel inside so I'm being honest. In my head, I feel like I deserve all the good that life has to offer so I feel frustrated and angry when I don't get it. I know life isn't perfect and we don't always get what we want but feeling like I deserve these things, like I'm entitled to them and then not getting them, can be frustrating.
I'm at a point where I feel like if I stopped feeling entitled to even the good in life, I'd have a much happier life experience.
What say you guys?
Does the feeling of entitlement affect our lives negatively?
Please elaborate to us on CD. I'm curious to know who do you feel is obligated to do for you or give you anything?
In other words what makes you so special?
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Well ok, here we go...
I think there are times when I work very hard to complete a task and I get overlooked. Most recently was a series of assignments I did for one of my nursing classes. We were required to do the work ourselves and so I did while other members of my class did not. They worked in groups and received higher grades and those higher grades became the class average. I was very upset by that and was hurt when I went to speak to my mentor and it resulted in them preparing me to come back in the fall. In the end, that didn't happen because despite getting much lower grades and being at risk for failing, I pulled a higher score on the exam than the class average. But I didn't feel like I deserved that kind of feedback because I worked very hard. And that was very upsetting to me because i felt I deserved a lot more encouragement than what I received.
Another example I can think of is when I first attended my university, very homogenous, I wasn't well received. To me, we're all people and I'm pretty friendly and genuine person and so I figured that would be enough to make friends somewhere on the campus. What happened instead was that I experienced very subtle racism and felt ostracized, for reasons that to this day still make no sense to me. I didn't feel like I deserved that and so I took it very hard because I couldn't understand why I wasn't getting what I felt I deserved, if that makes sense.
Last edited by Royalite; 05-08-2013 at 08:45 AM..
Reason: I'm private.
What a coincidence that you happen to be a nursing student because I'm a nurse. I hate to break it to you but nursing is the wrong profession for acknowledgement. I'm telling you this because you better not go into it expecting a thanks or any appreciation like ever. I do my job well because it's my job and I believe in treating pts the way I would want myself or a family member to be treated...even when they are jerks. That said. I've dealt with more ingrates and mean people as a nurse than I ever did doing any of the many jobs I've held since I was old enough to get working papers.
Nursing school isn't just about the academics. The nursing instructors are training you for your place in the hierarchy of medicine and that's somewhere close to the bottom of the totem pole.
Don't believe me? In case you haven't noticed it's never a nurse at one of those press conferences when something wonderful happens to a pt. It's always the docs and hospital administration. Does that mean the nurse had no role in the pts outcome? Of course they did. That's just the way it is and if you can't deal with being ignored or not appreciated for your efforts be prepared for a bumpy ride. Being a nurse is almost like being a mom...mostly a thankless job. I'm actually pretty surprised when people behave and say please and thank you.
Oh and don't let me start on adminstration and nurse managers. They are worse than the pts.
What a coincidence that you happen to be a nursing student because I'm a nurse. I hate to break it to you but nursing is the wrong profession for acknowledgement. I'm telling you this because you better not go into it expecting a thanks or any appreciation like ever. I do my job well because it's my job and I believe in treating pts the way I would want myself or a family member to be treated...even when they are jerks. That said. I've dealt with more ingrates and mean people as a nurse than I ever did doing any of the many jobs I've held since I was old enough to get working papers.
Nursing school isn't just about the academics. The nursing instructors are training you for your place in the hierarchy of medicine and that's somewhere close to the bottom of the totem pole.
Don't believe me? In case you haven't noticed it's never a nurse at one of those press conferences when something wonderful happens to a pt. It's always the docs and hospital administration. Does that mean the nurse had no role in the pts outcome? Of course they did. That's just the way it is and if you can't deal with being ignored or not appreciated for your efforts be prepared for a bumpy ride. Being a nurse is almost like being a mom...mostly a thankless job. I'm actually pretty surprised when people behave and say please and thank you.
Oh and don't let me start on adminstration and nurse managers. They are worse than the pts.
Tell me about it. I was very surprised when I started working as an extern and realized that the patients were nicer to me than the administration and the nurse managers. I felt deceived, especially because they always preach that as nurses you have to work together as a team. Maybe my idea of a team is a little different from everyone else's but my understanding was that we'd help one another even as we work independently, not play the blame game. Doesn't happen at all hospitals (I hope), but the ones I've been to...I just keep reminding myself that I'm dealing with personalities and I can't let it impact my work and it did toughen me up quite a bit. I really do care about people and I want to be some kind of nurse, but I don't feel like my calling is to serve. It bothers me though when I keep hearing administration preach that this is a service position and then I feel like the nurses are treated like slaves. I don't think this is everywhere though. At least I hope not.
Nevertheless, I do feel like I deserved more than what I've gotten so far. I'm just at a loss as to how to go about getting it and I think that's part of the reason why I'm having a "quarter-life crisis" . I hated my last 4 years of college and I want to make darn sure I'm not repeating the same mistakes again going forward.
I just want to say this; people are crazy about entitlement. Everyone wants a handout. Everywhere you go, people are fixated on their rights and privileges. "Getting what you deserve" is a core mantra for our society, that we reap what we sow. We're all about the free lunch. The word "entitlement" gets a bad rap because it generally has been turned over to suggest that it only belongs to people who want to take without giving back. In the Western world, we are entitled to free speech. We are entitled to education. Voting, refusing military service, choosing your own career - these are all rights we are entitled to. Most people are fixated on their entitlements and use them as a way of judging their self-worth.
It's common sense to understand that hard work doesn't necessarily mean more praise or more money. People who are cleverer than others do less work and receive better reward. This can be down to other factors such as gender, race, age, and class, things we're not supposed to use to affect our judgement, but nevertheless play an important factor. It would be great if we lived in a world where hard work was the only denominator. Then we'd all have to work hard. As it is, we don't all work hard because we don't have to. Sometimes we even have entitlements when we don't want them - personally I hate autospellers as I like to keep on top of my grammar.
Quote:
Does the feeling of entitlement affect our lives negatively?
I don't think so. If you believed that hard work never paid off or got you any reward, you'd be a fatalist. You believe that you're entitled to more because you work harder. That belief alone isn't always helpful, it can tear you up inside if someone else is doing less work but gets better treatment. I think what you're feeling isn't wrong, but you could balance it out with other factors ie. despite the odds you still produced good quality work.
I just want to say this; people are crazy about entitlement. Everyone wants a handout. Everywhere you go, people are fixated on their rights and privileges. "Getting what you deserve" is a core mantra for our society, that we reap what we sow. We're all about the free lunch. The word "entitlement" gets a bad rap because it generally has been turned over to suggest that it only belongs to people who want to take without giving back. In the Western world, we are entitled to free speech. We are entitled to education. Voting, refusing military service, choosing your own career - these are all rights we are entitled to. Most people are fixated on their entitlements and use them as a way of judging their self-worth.
It's common sense to understand that hard work doesn't necessarily mean more praise or more money. People who are cleverer than others do less work and receive better reward. This can be down to other factors such as gender, race, age, and class, things we're not supposed to use to affect our judgement, but nevertheless play an important factor. It would be great if we lived in a world where hard work was the only denominator. Then we'd all have to work hard. As it is, we don't all work hard because we don't have to. Sometimes we even have entitlements when we don't want them - personally I hate autospellers as I like to keep on top of my grammar.
I don't think so. If you believed that hard work never paid off or got you any reward, you'd be a fatalist. You believe that you're entitled to more because you work harder. That belief alone isn't always helpful, it can tear you up inside if someone else is doing less work but gets better treatment. I think what you're feeling isn't wrong, but you could balance it out with other factors ie. despite the odds you still produced good quality work.
Thank you for this dumb (you're so not dumb ). I think this is really insightful.
You are young, and your mental skills and abilities are still forming, even though physically you look mature. You probably know this from your nursing education.
By way of background, you are NOT alone in your thinking about entitlement. It is prevelent among your peers: "I am NOT going to work for THAT amount of money...i have a degree from a 'good' university. I am NOT going to live in a one bedroom apartment....i want a house with a pool and a two car garage...for my BMW!" This sort of thinking is rampant among people your age. One has to admire the chutzpah!
By way of history, a couple of generations ago America came out of a long economic slump. Credit, and financial engineering became the hallmarks of a 'new order' of life. These was nearly free money for anything and everything. Familyt units fell part as women went to work to acquire more and more 'stuff'. Children became their parents 'best friends' , became spoiled rotten with material goods, and had no structure nor discipline in their lives. The link between 'work hard' and 'rewards' became broken. With credit there was nothing that was out of reach. And the folks who run this country were more than pleased to lend you the money.
Enter 2008 and the collapse of the real estate bubble. All those McMansions which were bought on credit were suddenly worth at LOT Less, and the people owing the money were in BIG trouble. The people who lent the money were bailed out, but the peole borrowing the money were left devastated.
Except that their children--you--were still living with the idea that everythiung is easy and free. As you are finding out, it is not easy, nor free. And quite frankly, the Federal Reserve has tried to continue the free money policy in an effort to stimulate us back to where your 'never say no' parents were, but it is not working. And it is not likely to end well at all for you and your peers.
I am sorry to drag you through history, but the background is important for you to understand why you feel the way in which you do.
There is nothing wrong with aspiring, and driving, to achieve ideal goals. For most people, however, that is NOT going to happen. You are 'average', and can expect 'average income' and results from your work. That's the way it is when you don't live in an artificial bubble. As a scoiety, we are going to learn this the hard way over the next 50 years.
So, what do YOU do? You strive to be the very best at what you do that you can. Your reward comes maybe not from the boss, or in the paycheck, but from the patient who smiles or writes a tender note of thanks. If you stay in nursing, or teaching, the rewards will be internal and not financial. You are part of a generation of folks who never heard of such a thing. It is not your fault, necessarily, that we currently think this way.
And those folks with no skills, who are 'entitled'? They are in for the surprise of their lives. Over time they will, one by one, succumb to the real world: you work hard, you get self satisfaction from what you do, and there is NO FREE LUNCH.
I think YOU know this already, which puts you WAY ahead of your peers. Those that come behind you who are still partying on credit cards that they will never be able to pay off are in for a very rude awakening. Over time, things revert to the mean. We have gone from one entitlement bubble (stocks, technology, housing, and now bonds AND stocks) to another. These things, as we have seen, are not sustainable over the long haul. Your gift from your parents is $20 trillion of debt which likely can never be repaid. That money has created one hell of a party of entitlement. It will NOT Last. Trust me.
You are young, and your mental skills and abilities are still forming, even though physically you look mature. You probably know this from your nursing education.
By way of background, you are NOT alone in your thinking about entitlement. It is prevelent among your peers: "I am NOT going to work for THAT amount of money...i have a degree from a 'good' university. I am NOT going to live in a one bedroom apartment....i want a house with a pool and a two car garage...for my BMW!" This sort of thinking is rampant among people your age. One has to admire the chutzpah!
By way of history, a couple of generations ago America came out of a long economic slump. Credit, and financial engineering became the hallmarks of a 'new order' of life. These was nearly free money for anything and everything. Familyt units fell part as women went to work to acquire more and more 'stuff'. Children became their parents 'best friends' , became spoiled rotten with material goods, and had no structure nor discipline in their lives. The link between 'work hard' and 'rewards' became broken. With credit there was nothing that was out of reach. And the folks who run this country were more than pleased to lend you the money.
Enter 2008 and the collapse of the real estate bubble. All those McMansions which were bought on credit were suddenly worth at LOT Less, and the people owing the money were in BIG trouble. The people who lent the money were bailed out, but the peole borrowing the money were left devastated.
Except that their children--you--were still living with the idea that everythiung is easy and free. As you are finding out, it is not easy, nor free. And quite frankly, the Federal Reserve has tried to continue the free money policy in an effort to stimulate us back to where your 'never say no' parents were, but it is not working. And it is not likely to end well at all for you and your peers.
I am sorry to drag you through history, but the background is important for you to understand why you feel the way in which you do.
There is nothing wrong with aspiring, and driving, to achieve ideal goals. For most people, however, that is NOT going to happen. You are 'average', and can expect 'average income' and results from your work. That's the way it is when you don't live in an artificial bubble. As a scoiety, we are going to learn this the hard way over the next 50 years.
So, what do YOU do? You strive to be the very best at what you do that you can. Your reward comes maybe not from the boss, or in the paycheck, but from the patient who smiles or writes a tender note of thanks. If you stay in nursing, or teaching, the rewards will be internal and not financial. You are part of a generation of folks who never heard of such a thing. It is not your fault, necessarily, that we currently think this way.
And those folks with no skills, who are 'entitled'? They are in for the surprise of their lives. Over time they will, one by one, succumb to the real world: you work hard, you get self satisfaction from what you do, and there is NO FREE LUNCH.
I think YOU know this already, which puts you WAY ahead of your peers. Those that come behind you who are still partying on credit cards that they will never be able to pay off are in for a very rude awakening. Over time, things revert to the mean. We have gone from one entitlement bubble (stocks, technology, housing, and now bonds AND stocks) to another. These things, as we have seen, are not sustainable over the long haul. Your gift from your parents is $20 trillion of debt which likely can never be repaid. That money has created one hell of a party of entitlement. It will NOT Last. Trust me.
Thank you for all of this. What's your opinion on things like feeling you deserve credit for the work that you have done?
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My family thinks I'm nuts but I really do feel that way. Now that I'm 22 (I'm close enough to 25 and I'm a mature-minded person 
