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I think a major problem in our society is we classify too much normal behavior as being stupid. In result almost no one exerts themselves unless in small groups of friends etc where they can trust those people with the fact they are "stupid". If you go to other countries you find that it is much more fun because people are out "being stupid" as if it is normal... because it is.
Sorry, but I think there are all kinds of "normal" or "typical behavior" that are just plain stupid. EG: Obese people going to an all you can eat buffet, and eating all they can.
I think a major problem in our society is we classify too much normal behavior as being stupid. In result almost no one exerts themselves unless in small groups of friends etc where they can trust those people with the fact they are "stupid". If you go to other countries you find that it is much more fun because people are out "being stupid" as if it is normal... because it is.
I must be as sick in the head as you because reading what you wrote left me with an interpretation of what you might mean. However, examples are hard to come up with. I think it boils down to people not being themselves and following a script or prescribed way of thinking and behaving according to what they perceive society expects, and they are only really able to be themselves with a group of true friends that they know well and are very comfortable with. It sucks to be immersed in a culture where everybody is hushed in fear of offending or being ridiculed. Not everybody are sheep though, there are outspoken independent people out there. A lot of the Texans, Jews, Italians, and rednecks I've met are much more fun and easier to get to know because they're very live-and-let-live, independent, outspoken, and don't care so much what others think rather than having such a strong filter.
One example might be that a certain element of folks try to push high culture on others - art museums, the symphony, ballet, etc. And they set up the tone in a way that it's as if a person who doesn't care about those things is stupid, uncultured, uneducated, just not with it, etc. And honestly, I think this usually comes from types who are ashamed of, or not satisfied with, their family and upbringing and are trying to compensate. Actual upper-class people I've met who grew up with that stuff tend to be MUCH more relaxed and live-and-let-live about it. When people genuinely like something and are secure about it, they do so without feeling the need to push it on others or engage in related affectations.
Another example might be when folks want to get married young and settle down, certain people will tell them they're making a mistake, stupid, etc.
Yet another example might be if somebody doesn't believe in pornography and thinks it's unhealthy or even cheating. Certain people won't respect your beliefs and will say you're immature, naive, etc. and basically write you off. Why? I don't know. But they may deep-down have those beliefs themselves and need to distance themselves from them, rationalize, and feel the need for others to believe the same to validate their beliefs.
This all helps remind me that I was much happier and more fun when I was more myself and hadn't fallen victim and got scrambled by taking various doctrines or dogmas too seriously.
A lot of the Texans, Jews, Italians, and rednecks I've met are much more fun and easier to get to know because they're very live-and-let-live, independent, outspoken, and don't care so much what others think rather than having such a strong filter.
Exactly you really don't know what I mean until you've meet a group of people like this. Trying to explain it to someone who hasn't is like trying to explain what sober is to someone who has been constantly drunk their entire life. When you are around these kinds of people you find that you have more fun. Because they be themselves, stupid, and they forgive each other for it... To them it's being normal.
I think a major problem in our society is we classify too much normal behavior as being stupid. In result almost no one exerts themselves unless in small groups of friends etc where they can trust those people with the fact they are "stupid". If you go to other countries you find that it is much more fun because people are out "being stupid" as if it is normal... because it is.
Agree, somehow normal became stupid, and stupid became normal. I just posted a question somewhat related about how reality tv is effecting america, thus the world. American's have so many hangups (I'm suspecting due in part to cultural criticism, fitting in with the Jones type thing.) Here we try too much to impress each other, forgetting about ourselves. Before we know it our happiness, becomes making everyone else happy, not individual happiness and that baffles me. Put it this way, If your doing something that makes you happy, and it doesn't hurt anyone, but makes someone unhappy; are you supposed to give up your happiness for theirs?
Exactly you really don't know what I mean until you've meet a group of people like this. Trying to explain it to someone who hasn't is like trying to explain what sober is to someone who has been constantly drunk their entire life. When you are around these kinds of people you find that you have more fun. Because they be themselves, stupid, and they forgive each other for it... To them it's being normal.
I know what you mean, but I think folks who are used to *not being around* the more relaxed type of people we're talking about can actually be very uncomfortable around them, although that could be only temporary.
Have you seen the movie Sweet Home Alabama? I think that movie kind of illustrates what you're talking about. Reece Witherspoon's character plays both parts (both types of people) in that movie and ultimately the relaxed social style wins her over. I'd also like to say I think the stuffier types have become that way because of the sort of conditioning they've received - being at school, in professional environments, or divere environments all the time will rub off on you, whereas being surrounding by folks you grew up with or who are a lot like you can make you more laid back and relaxed. I think this can be seen in the differences between folks in different parts of the country. I think it's why Southerners, Texans, and rural types can be extra friendly and less afraid of strangers, whereas urban and Northern types can be more indifferent and more difficult to get to know (with the exception of large very urban cities where northerners, at least the working class, can be friendly and open to strangers).
You're always going to be more comfortable, relaxed, and open around folks you grew up with or who are a lot like you, especially if you've known them a long time, know the real them, maybe some of their secrets, etc. Whereas groups you meet professionally or in school, you might not want them to know your past or anything other than how you've portrayed yourself since you've known them (which is kind of fake, and not letting people know the real you, but I think people are like that!).
In reading the post and my previous response is in reflection to the following examples I can think of...
Spending extended periods of time out of your comfort zone. Other countries promote what is called a gap year. This is usually the year after finishing high school. Here we either go to work, school, or service. I meet young men and women abroad, alone, without destination, taking this year in experience and independence.
Doing something to try to better yourself...even if the deck is stacked against you. Look at people who have had to abruptly leave a lavish life in order to protect themselves. People who have masters degrees or doctrines in country of origin and leave to be a janitor somewhere better for their family (that doesn't recognize their degree).
Tolerance. Portugal for example has recognized substance abuse as a mental disorder. Instead of punishing these individuals, and labeling them as stupid criminal they provide resources for help. This happens in Norway as well, and probably other countries.
Something as simple as breakfast. I'll commonly eat "dinner" for "breakfast". Tread cautiously though..."ew, your having THAT for breakfast" in the work place....Yes, they are not directly calling you "stupid" for this but following that comment is usually along the lines, "how can you can eat that for breakfast?"
Countries where you can drive a scooter drunk as long as you wear a helmet?!
How about prostitution? Here we have Vegas. Some countries made prostitution illegal, but don't enforce it as they see it as a way for poor uneducated citizens to make money, maybe even for their entire family.
Going on a motorcycle without a helmet. Have you ever seen an entire family on a motorbike, no one wearing a helmet, in the worst traffic you ever seen in your life. Better yet, only the driver, not the children wearing helmet?
Not washing your hands after the bathroom. Many other countries this is completely impossible. Here it's stupid, but people are still thriving where they don't.
I could go on and on here but hopefully gave you an idea.
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