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OP, even if your wife won't go to counseling, could you go? Maybe ask for some help dealing with her and making things better for the kids? Could the kids go? Might do them a world of good.
I have been going to counseling for years, and it has helped me deal with this woman's insanity. But it doesn't change the fact that she's insane. Just a couple of days ago, my son was badly injured playing sports. He had to have surgery. Just this morning this miserable b---- tells me she's really angry because now to help our son recover "she has to stay and play nice." She went on to bytch and moan about how we're in limbo and she can't make any moves because now he's sick. I literally wanted to kill her. What an appalling thing to say.
I continue to tell her that it's not going to matter what moves she makes because I will not consent to a divorce and I will not leave the children or the house. Being with her makes me feel both homicidal and suicidal.
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You see your choices as "stay and be miserable" or "leave and lose the kids." Are you sure those are your only options? I understand that it's difficult financially, but are there other jobs or roommate situations you could find that would ease the financial burden?
I already work multiple jobs/gigs/hustles. I am always looking for ways to make money. If I were a single man I would have no problem living an ascetic, flintily frugal existence, but with kids I can't do that. They have to live in a similar situation to what they have now, a stable place where they won't have to move to another school and where they have enough space to thrive.
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Are you sure your wife wouldn't be fair about the kids if you divorced? Sounds like she would be happier too if all you do is fight.
She tells me she would be fair, but I don't trust her word. She's a nasty, vindictive individual who would rather see me hurt than see the kids happy. It's as simple as that.
I have been going to counseling for years, and it has helped me deal with this woman's insanity. But it doesn't change the fact that she's insane. Just a couple of days ago, my son was badly injured playing sports. He had to have surgery. Just this morning this miserable b---- tells me she's really angry because now to help our son recover "she has to stay and play nice." She went on to bytch and moan about how we're in limbo and she can't make any moves because now he's sick. I literally wanted to kill her. What an appalling thing to say.
I continue to tell her that it's not going to matter what moves she makes because I will not consent to a divorce and I will not leave the children or the house. Being with her makes me feel both homicidal and suicidal.
Oh yeah, this is a great atmosphere for the children to live and grow up in.
If she is clinically insane the next time she goes nuts or attacks you then you need to call the police and get her on a 48 or 72 hr. hold where she can be evaluated. Are you renting or do you both own a home together? Is there a way that she would leave the home and you remain with the children?
OP, it sounds like you are going to stay in the home and keep things status quo because you feel you won't get the kids. I certainly understand you wanting the children to be safe, but is staying there with your wife and all the insanity brought on by that healthy for your children to be around?
If she is clinically insane the next time she goes nuts or attacks you then you need to call the police and get her on a 48 or 72 hr. hold where she can be evaluated. Are you renting or do you both own a home together? Is there a way that she would leave the home and you remain with the children?
I've been reluctant to involve the cops, etc., but I have warned her that if she starts another incident (there have been about five cop-worthy ones in total) I will call them. We own the home together. I don't see her leaving the home without taking the kids.....and I ain't gonna let her take the kids.
OP, it sounds like you are going to stay in the home and keep things status quo because you feel you won't get the kids. I certainly understand you wanting the children to be safe, but is staying there with your wife and all the insanity brought on by that healthy for your children to be around?
No it is not......but I have no place to go and will not leave her with the kids.
I would....but I am stuck for financial and family reasons. Don't want to lose the ability to raise my kids in a divorce, and can't afford to maintain two residences.
Well, then you're just going to have to live with it.
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