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I don't know much. I don't think we're talking normal relationships, in which you do look after and care for one another. I think its like when a shrink labels one person's behavior sick or finds some other label to put on it. But they have a cohort that kind of aids their behavior. Maybe like a Sadist/Masochist type relationship. More likely you might have someone that is very insecure/neurotic, but they have a spouse that gets satisfaction or pleasure from being a rescuer or helper in the situation, so they don't really help them overcome their problem, they actually encourage it because they benefit from being their enabler.
Woody Allen told a great joke about this. It seems one brother had a delusion that he was a chicken. The other brother would have liked to help, but he couldn't cause he needed the eggs.
Codependency can happen when someone is younger, less informed, when someone has all the power in the relationship either by money, power, control etc. or a lot of time co-dependence can happen through mental or physical illness or drug use etc.
I need some insight on this issue - what is it and how to stop doing it?
It is caretaking, especially caretaking when you are doing things for someone who ought to be doing them for himself or herself, and especially when that person has a problem, such as alcoholism and the co-dependent covers for them, cleans up after them, etc.
The co-dependent has issues. A normal, healthy person doesn't allow another sick person to control their life that way.
If substance abuse is involved, Al-Anon or Nar-Anon groups can help. Therapy is always a good idea.
I don't know much. I don't think we're talking normal relationships, in which you do look after and care for one another. I think its like when a shrink labels one person's behavior sick or finds some other label to put on it. But they have a cohort that kind of aids their behavior. Maybe like a Sadist/Masochist type relationship. More likely you might have someone that is very insecure/neurotic, but they have a spouse that gets satisfaction or pleasure from being a rescuer or helper in the situation, so they don't really help them overcome their problem, they actually encourage it because they benefit from being their enabler.
Woody Allen told a great joke about this. It seems one brother had a delusion that he was a chicken. The other brother would have liked to help, but he couldn't cause he needed the eggs.
It's giving up your own needs to care for (or control) the needs of others. The other person in the relationship (the dependent) is usually affected by an illness or condition which is often mental, physical or emotional. In the long run, you end up feeling depleted, stressed out, angry and resentful toward the person you're 'caring' for. For both individuals, they're feelings are dependent upon what the other person feels. If you're happy, I'm happy....if you're upset, then I'm upset. You have difficulty existing apart from each other's lives.
You can go to Coda (codependents anonymous) or if this person has a substance abuse issue- you can find support in Naranon or Alanon. They can help support you and possibly break your codependent patterns.
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