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Old 06-22-2013, 08:41 PM
 
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Whenever I feel depressed and unmotivated to better my life, I find that I can generate some motivation by thinking, "Well, might as well try. If I can't seem to better my life through enough trying, there's always an 'out' to life."

Would you say this a dangerous midset?
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Old 06-22-2013, 09:17 PM
 
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I personally don't think it is a dangerous mind-set. You want to try to better yourself, your life and do make attempts at doing so. Suicide is an option, perhaps not good one for many reasons but it is one.
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Old 06-22-2013, 10:54 PM
 
Location: SNA=>PDX 2013
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I was on another board discussing suicide as we all have been there before. We realized that there are people who like to have the idea of suicide as an out, they may plan it all out too, but they'll never really do it. They like it in their back pocket per se. When they get to that point, since they can't do it, it usually motivates them to get back on their feet. Exactly like what you said.

On the other side of the coin were people who see suicide as a way out regardless of planning. These people are the types to actually do it. These people when they got to suicide, it definitely was not a motivation to get back on track. If anything it was a way to escape having to face the issues.

So, which do you fall in. If the former, then it's not a dangerous thought, if anything, it's good to get you back on track. If you fall in the latter, then yes, it's a dangerous thought in the sense of you being gone forever.

Granted, I see suicide as a choice. It's my life, I can do what I want with it. And I feel people should do what they want with their lives.
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Old 06-22-2013, 11:26 PM
 
Location: USA
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This is the best thread ever. I agree with this 100%. If things are so bad that you want to leave, then why not be given that option? Though on the flip side, I know if I had been given an easy option of suicide, I would have taken it in my 20s. While most people that struggle in their 20s with finding their own person should join the military or travel the world. Life is more then 9 to 5 or the latest video game, I found that out the hard way
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Old 06-23-2013, 03:32 AM
 
Location: SNA=>PDX 2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shiphead View Post
This is the best thread ever. I agree with this 100%. If things are so bad that you want to leave, then why not be given that option? Though on the flip side, I know if I had been given an easy option of suicide, I would have taken it in my 20s. While most people that struggle in their 20s with finding their own person should join the military or travel the world. Life is more then 9 to 5 or the latest video game, I found that out the hard way
Well, I don't think it should be an easy option. But I accept that it's an option for myself or anyone. The only thing that has saved me was my dogs. If I didn't have them, I'm sure I would have been gone long ago. Too much crappola to handle in one lifetime already and I'm not even 40 yet.

I think kids should have a mandatory year off between high school and college to go find themselves a bit. I was burnt out when I graduated HS. Going to college just made it worse. When I finally stopped going to school, YEARS later, it was like I could finally relax and just do my job, take a real vacation, etc. Live a little more.
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Old 06-23-2013, 08:42 AM
 
8,010 posts, read 7,398,613 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shiphead View Post
This is the best thread ever. I agree with this 100%. If things are so bad that you want to leave, then why not be given that option? Though on the flip side, I know if I had been given an easy option of suicide, I would have taken it in my 20s. While most people that struggle in their 20s with finding their own person should join the military or travel the world. Life is more then 9 to 5 or the latest video game, I found that out the hard way
How is someone not given the option of suicide? Of course it's an option. It's one that most people don't want to think about.

OP:This is a pretty interesting concept you've brung up. Using suicide as a motivation is something I haven't heard of before. But I don't necessarily understand how that works.
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Old 06-23-2013, 10:01 AM
 
Location: Windham County, VT
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Quote:
Originally Posted by psichick View Post
I was on another board discussing suicide as we all have been there before. We realized that there are people who like to have the idea of suicide as an out, they may plan it all out too, but they'll never really do it. They like it in their back pocket per se. When they get to that point, since they can't do it, it usually motivates them to get back on their feet. Exactly like what you said.

On the other side of the coin were people who see suicide as a way out regardless of planning. These people are the types to actually do it. These people when they got to suicide, it definitely was not a motivation to get back on track. If anything it was a way to escape having to face the issues.

So, which do you fall in. If the former, then it's not a dangerous thought, if anything, it's good to get you back on track. If you fall in the latter, then yes, it's a dangerous thought in the sense of you being gone forever.

Granted, I see suicide as a choice. It's my life, I can do what I want with it. And I feel people should do what they want with their lives.
This^.

Whether it helps one soldier through hard times in life, to make it to a better tomorrow (or future point) depends on how the thought/plan is deployed.

Having that as a last-ditch choice can embolden someone to hang on just a little bit longer, because maybe things really will improve, if given time.
Obviously, if a person does follow through & kill themselves, then there's no way to find out if life would've gotten any better for that person, had they survived instead.

I support the right to conduct one's life & death how & when one sees fit, but I also support free counseling for anyone who would want to avail themselves of it.
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Old 06-23-2013, 03:11 PM
 
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It doesn't sound like it's a dangerous mindset for you. I can sort of understand that, I have been through a number of terrible losses that left me in a soul crushing depression. There were times when dying felt like it would be better than living, at that point I found myself being helped by the thought that life was finite. Fortunately, I never lost sight of the devastating consequences of suicide, it would devastate those who care about me, I was always aware of adding to their pain, and that forced me to keep going.

Suicide is ultimately a selfish act, the real problem is when people lose sight of that, and feel like they would be doing others a favor by committing suicide, if a person gets to the point where they believe they have no value to anyone there is real risk of them acting on the thought, for that reason any threat of suicide should be taken very seriously. I don't think suicide should be an easy option, the effects are too far reaching. There will always be some who do it, but I believe we should do everything possible to stop it, most people can get better through treatment. Suicide prevention and treatment for mental illnesses should be available to everyone.
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Old 06-23-2013, 07:32 PM
 
Location: SNA=>PDX 2013
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Originally Posted by Ro2113 View Post
How is someone not given the option of suicide? Of course it's an option. It's one that most people don't want to think about.

OP:This is a pretty interesting concept you've brung up. Using suicide as a motivation is something I haven't heard of before. But I don't necessarily understand how that works.
For many, it's not an option, for religious reasons or otherwise and those types of people feel a big layer of guilt when they even think it. So in essence they hit rock bottom, think of suicide, feel guilty, and realize they need to get away from that because that is NOT something they could do....and it turns into a motivator.

I guess I think of it like this. I know a guy who has tried to commit suicide twice (by OD'ing) and his close friend found him and "saved" him. He is grateful to be saved. He cleaned up his life and decided to make something out of it. He suffers from depression and does hit the suicide levels again. I asked him once, why doesn't he just shoot himself if he really wants to die? And he said, he's afraid he won't get it done right. I said, but you've tried to do it twice via OD'ing and failed twice. And your way out is "a known mixture" to get the job done, but obviously that's not working. And again he said he wants to make sure it's done.

IMHO, he isn't the type that really wants to die. I mean, for sure he wants to, but if he was truly serious, he'd just shoot himself, or do something where no one could "save you". He's the type to get there and suicide is a motivation to fix things, just in case he lives through the attempt....again. That's why I said, he really wants to live. Versus myself. If I do it, I'm dead. Period. End of story. No one will be able to save me in any way. I have a plan and will execute it if I get to that point. Having the plan doesn't motivate me at all to live, the plan allows me to know I have a way out....in case "tomorrow" really doesn't change anything.

This is just MHO and well, everyone is different. I hope I helped to explain a little from one POV.
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Old 06-23-2013, 07:38 PM
 
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I don't like to say this out loud because I don't want this in the mind of people but giving myself that option was a very VERY liberating experience because the moment I started thinking about dying, the more I found myself open to living. Life and death both became less scary and more exciting!

Taking away the taboo and fear of death made me realize that I actually wanted to live and making that decision is very exciting and empowering thing. I wasn't a slave to life anymore.

I'd recommend for those who haven't, reading the book "Veronika Decides to Die: A story of redemption" by Paulo Coelho

P.S: I don't think about death and suicide anymore (though i am aware of my mortality). It's like life took a whole new turn.
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