Breaking a habit (addiction, depressed, thoughts, borderline)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've been trying to break a bad habit for two years...off & on, that is...cold turkey, weaning myself off gradually, and rewarding myself when I don't do it...but none of these tactics have worked. Anyone break a habit successfully? Mind sharing with me your secret? Thanks!
I quit drinking alcohol and smoking (at different times). It was no big deal for me to stop either of those because I wanted to stop. (I was not stopping because that was what someone else wanted.)
And in both cases, I realized I was better off without them. So no reason to continue with either. I just stopped!
Note I am quite different from other people. I'm not "recovering" (as they say they are). And I have no idea the date I quit drinking (others will know the exact number of days since they had their last drink).
Anyway I just realized drinking and later smoking were no longer fun, were causing me more trouble than pleasure, was costing too much money, so I just quit!
Ah, me and you are the same Billy_J. I quit drinking and smoking also. As Billy_J said, you have to want to quit in order to be successful. I found that I had to remove myself from the "scene" in early recovery with both. Please note though that I didn't remove myself from them because I was afraid of relapse, but instead, I removed myself because they were not appealing to me anymore. I lost a few friends afterwards, they found me "boring" because I wasn't drinking or going out to bars anymore. It's funny when you do successfully quit though, you'll find a lot of things that you found appealing, are no longer what you like. After I quit smoking, a few weeks later I was at a stop light behind a few cars and I could smell the cigarette smoke from the person way up in front (a good 5 or 6 car lengths away). That's when it just hit me that I'm so happy I don't smell like that anymore and my sense of smell was back to normal.. Food also tastes better.
How I quit:
Quit smoking: I read a fantastic book by Allen Carr that really helped me quit smoking, I guess he put all of the advice in my head and then left the ball in my court to quit. I actually quit before I finished the book. I drank a LOT of water after I quit, it really does help fight the urge.. After about a week, the urge starts to go away and you probably won't even realize it since you most likely altered your life around cigarettes. I believe I'm coming up on my 4th year without smoking.
Quit Drinking: I was drinking on a daily basis and I was up to my 6th year, I might of missed a day or two, but always went back full force afterwards. One night I was drinking and I was severely depressed, and it was just a few months after I moved to the beautiful mountains and loved it here. Thoughts went through my head of what I was doing to myself, where I was in life, and what I wanted to become.. I dry heaved over the toilet that night, but afterwards, drank again. I woke up the next morning with a tower (and that's no joke) of beer cans beside my computer desk, I felt sick, and I could barely stand up. I told myself that I quit, and I was serious about it. I wanted to quit, and no more BS.
I ended up writing a post on a sobriety forum and posted there for about a year before I moved to city-data forums. The forum helped me, but it was the same subject.. over and over, beat to death. I finally got sick of it and left. I was really strong with my sobriety and I kept my head up in tough times - I even had a job loss in early sobriety, but I stuck with my plan and here I am today, almost 2 years sober and feeling great.
Everyone is different, but if you want to quit, you will. Don't pity yourself or say "what if I..." (just have one more..and then I'll quit). Just DO it. Weaning yourself off is never, ever going to work. You just have to say "that's it", and be serious about it. Throw everything away that you used for smoking / drinking. Beer cans, wine glasses, cigarette ash trays, lighters, etc.
Billy_J & Quert, I admire you two!! My situation differs because, truth be told, I don't want to quit, I have to. This guy and I are playing a cat and mouse thing...he chases, I run...I get caught, he withdraws...so I leave, then he's crying saying how he can't live without me.
Sure, I know it's an unhealthy/crazy relationship, but when I try to quit (cold turkey-no calling, texting, seeing him), it lasts for only a while, then I miss him and the ludicrous high I get from his [temporary] adoration from him.
When I try to just be friends, that's hard too.
So unlike you two, part of me wants to quit to preserve the tiny bit of sanity I have left. But the other part doesn't.
The absolute craziest thing about all of this is that I really should let him go because he wants to get married and I don't. I've never wanted to marry (anyone), so the Christian thing for me to do is let him find someone else. Release him.
But you just said when you let yourself be caught, he withdraws. If you meant what I think you meant, I think we are talking about a man that is emotionally unavailable
If that's the case, I think you need to read more about these type of people(borderline, emotionally unavailable). There is a high chance this man will make you very miserable. Change your phone number, email adress and forget about him. Don't think you can quit, you can, millions of women have gone through the same and eventually you will most likely quit. Don't waste your youth or energy with these people.
I've been trying to break a bad habit for two years...off & on, that is...cold turkey, weaning myself off gradually, and rewarding myself when I don't do it...but none of these tactics have worked. Anyone break a habit successfully? Mind sharing with me your secret? Thanks!
You should of mentioned that this was a relationship question, because I was under the assumption that this was either a alcohol, smoking, or drugs question. I cannot answer your question as relationship questions are not my strong point.
You should of mentioned that this was a relationship question, because I was under the assumption that this was either a alcohol, smoking, or drugs question. I cannot answer your question as relationship questions are not my strong point.
Yeah, you're right...not even sure this should be in the Psych category. Maybe Relationships? Gosh, my common sense has been missing for a while. I was thinking Psychology because my addiction to this guy is all in my head. I know I have more willpower than I give myself credit for.
But you just said when you let yourself be caught, he withdraws. If you meant what I think you meant, I think we are talking about a man that is emotionally unavailable
If that's the case, I think you need to read more about these type of people(borderline, emotionally unavailable). There is a high chance this man will make you very miserable. Change your phone number, email adress and forget about him. Don't think you can quit, you can, millions of women have gone through the same and eventually you will most likely quit. Don't waste your youth or energy with these people.
He might only love the chase, be careful
True, I'm sure he does only like the chase. It's kinda sad, how I get caught up in all the sweet talk. And there are good times, or I wouldn't be hooked in the first place. But the lows are so, low. Pitiful.
A couple of years ago, I broke the habit of sleeping in a bed. Now I just sleep in the floor. It is just as comfortable, but it takes a few nights to get used to it and learn how to find a comfortable posture. Now, I no longer need to rely on a bed in order to get a good night's sleep.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Anyone break a habit successfully? Mind sharing with me your secret? Thanks!
Gosh, my common sense has been missing for a while. I was thinking Psychology because my addiction to this guy is all in my head. I know I have more willpower than I give myself credit for.
