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So I don't want to have my dads personality as he never talked to us when we were growing up and just sat on the couch and watched tv. And when he did talk it was to chew us out. But I'm starting to follow in his foot steps and I don't want to.
I'm in my early 30's and I'm mad all the time. This seems strong but I'm not social at all and don't want to talk but just be alone and work by myself. My wife laughed when I told her about this and said she knows and has told her family that he won't talk to you unless he knows you or has been drinking. I go to work and everyone says don't talk to him before 9am because I'm not talkative and I seem annoyed by their questions or conversation. But when I drink (or a decade ago when I smoked weed), I'm so much more open and in a happier mood and people actually enjoy my company. I've come to realize that I have a drinking problem and my wife says I'm so much better when I do drink because I'm happy and funny when I do. My drinking problem is I have around 4-6 beers after work 3-4 days a week all at home by myself. I don't drink and drive and I don't have any friends as they all have families. Atleast that's what I think to think.
Some days people annoy me for the smallest things but other days I'm in a really good mood. If someone does something wrong before my shift I let it get to me and talk to myself in my head about how much they suck and why doesn't everyone give 100% at work like I do.
I have nothing to be depressed about as my life is perfect. But I see how much my mood changes just when I drink to how I am normal. I've tried to be more talkative or happier without alcohol but it doesn't work as I'd rather just be in my own world by myself.
Should I go see a psych/doctor or is this just normal?
So I don't want to have my dads personality as he never talked to us when we were growing up and just sat on the couch and watched tv. And when he did talk it was to chew us out. But I'm starting to follow in his foot steps and I don't want to.
I'm in my early 30's and I'm mad all the time. This seems strong but I'm not social at all and don't want to talk but just be alone and work by myself. My wife laughed when I told her about this and said she knows and has told her family that he won't talk to you unless he knows you or has been drinking. I go to work and everyone says don't talk to him before 9am because I'm not talkative and I seem annoyed by their questions or conversation.But when I drink (or a decade ago when I smoked weed), I'm so much more open and in a happier mood and people actually enjoy my company. I've come to realize that I have a drinking problem and my wife says I'm so much better when I do drink because I'm happy and funny when I do. My drinking problem is I have around 4-6 beers after work 3-4 days a week all at home by myself. I don't drink and drive and I don't have any friends as they all have families. Atleast that's what I think to think.
Some days people annoy me for the smallest things but other days I'm in a really good mood. If someone does something wrong before my shift I let it get to me and talk to myself in my head about how much they suck and why doesn't everyone give 100% at work like I do.
I have nothing to be depressed about as my life is perfect. But I see how much my mood changes just when I drink to how I am normal. I've tried to be more talkative or happier without alcohol but it doesn't work as I'd rather just be in my own world by myself.
Should I go see a psych/doctor or is this just normal?
This doesn't sound normal, based on what you wrote, and it doesn't sound like it's going to pass on its own. Frankly, you sound seriously depressed. Depression doesn't just show itself as a sad mood; sometimes it comes out as irritability and prickliness. You're ruminating about negative events, which reinforces your prickly mood. It sounds like people avoid you because of your irritability. The fact that you're a mean sober (as opposed to a mean drunk) doesn't help. The jokes people make encouraging you to drink are a way for them to address your irritability without becoming targets of your apparent hostility. And you don't need to have "something to be depressed about" to be depressed; it could be the result of a physical condition as much as a pattern of behavior.
By all means, a psychologist can help with this. It sounds like it's high time you saw one, your "perfect life" notwithstanding.
I agree with the previous poster. The only thing is that I think your case is more about anger and the guilt feelings it produces. It might seem normal because there are a lot angry people out there. However this behavior is bothering you and it's bothering other people and there are ways to modify it to make you feel more at ease with yourself.
Of course I am speculating because I really don't know you but based on what you wrote I feel that could be the case. I also suffered from unresolved anger. I am a female but my mother had a very strong character(people used to joke and tell her our home looked like the army, we were receiving "military education") and in a sense it was true. Growing up I always expected her to be angry. Usually she would only adressed me if I did something wrong(she is no longer that agressive but she is still very judgmental) she has changed a lot for the better though, she is a snart woman but had a rough life and her parents were extremely agressive too.
I think I carried a lot of anger because I was educated that way. If something wasn't right, you get upset and others should feel guilty and fix it. One thing that really helped me was to stop thinking the world should be fair and that people should behave like I would.
If you think you have anger issues I think you should consult a therapist. In the meantime I recommend watching Youtube videos of nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg. His workshops really helped me to identify what was making me angry(an unmet need) and to communicate in a better way without sounding agressive and judgmental.
I would say if your drinking or behavior is a problem to you or other people, then consider counseling. If not a problem, then no pressing need for counseling.
Other than that, going to counseling can be like talking to and learning from a wise parent or grandparent. There are many things people can learn about dealing with stressful situations, dealing with jerks who tick us off, etc. (how to remain calm or relieve stress).
So that is a good reason to go to counseling - just to learn a bit more about life and how to deal with life's difficulties better. (We all can use a bit of that!)
And this is like taking a class on boating. You may already know all about how to operate a boat, but a boating class will teach you additional safety and other things which can help to avoid future problems.
Should I go see a psych/doctor or is this just normal?
It's not normal to be mad all the time. If you don't want to be angry for the rest of your life you have to do something.
Alcohol is not the answer.
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