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I realize now my purpose was to be a good partner and lover, to take care of my partner. Well, he passed away almost 4 years ago. Without going into details I sort of failed in my purpose as his death may have been avoidable (but as his sister told me... "Gods will be done, not yours"...
Be that as it may, Johnnie, being Johnnies' partner, was my purpose in lfe. With him gone I have no purpose. My life is pretty much over. Not biologically over (that will come in time), but the reason or direction is gone, and I am just marking time now.
Nope, I know my life has absolutely no value or meaning to anyone. I'm just an ugly dark American woman that the vast majority of American men don't find attractive or want a relationship with. I might as well get surgery to be a man cause I surely don't feel like a woman. Men never tell me I'm sexy or beautiful nor make catcalls at me when I walk down the street. I hate my parents for procreating with each other, and making me. I don't know what they were thinking, I don't know why they didn't decide to date outside their race to ensure that I would have better luck with men and a more successful social life. A little bit of burden would have been lifted if I were biracial. I know when I have kids I won't do this to them..I'm going to procreate with a man of a different race to try to give my kids the best life possible especially if its a girl.
My purpose in life? As a kid, I wasn't so sure. I had too many interests, and throughout college, I dabbled into different subjects and still couldn't decide. I decided on art.
After traveling to some parts of the world, my purpose in life (even on a small level) is to help create a change somehow.. especially in areas of disparity more in philanthropy and logistics of implementing that change..
But, goal setting is the hardest part. So sometimes, I know what my purpose is, the matter of how is the most difficult part I feel most helpless and unsure about but isn't an excuse. I just need to push forward and need to focus and follow-through.
Other posters have put it a lot better than I will be able to, but to chime in here: yes, I feel that everyone has a purpose in life.
Much of that purpose, in my opinion, is to help others and make this world a better place. Whether it's a kind word, a listening ear, a helping hand, volunteering, or discovering a cure, every goodness matters. In fact, something you've said or done that seems small and unimportant to you may have made an incredible difference to someone else's mindset and life. And they, in turn, might have gone on because of that to be a positive force for someone else, kind of like a chain reaction. You just never know where it will eventually lead.
It might not qualify as a purpose, I'm not sure... but I believe another thing we all should strive for is just to be happy. As long as we're not hurting anyone else, I feel it's imperative to spend our valuable time loving the people we love, doing the things we truly enjoy, and living in the moment.
. But, half the time I just feel blah, like even though I have an decent job and I'm going to school, nothing I do is ever enough for me.--Come to think of it-- I've felt this way for the majority of my life. Anyway, has anyone felt this way before?
Wait I'm confused. If you don't think you have a purpose then why do you feel you are not good enough? Please explain Good enough for what? I guess you mean you are not meeting that purpose and feel like you never will.
I know I'm insignificant and my name will probably be forgotten once I die. But that's life. When I check old pictures of average people that have long been dead, I think about this. They are forgotten except maybe as a name in a genealogy family tree however when they were alive they were struggling, suffering and trying to be happy. That made me understand the saying "they rest in peace"
Last edited by Sugah Ray; 08-16-2013 at 07:33 AM..
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