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For 40 years I have been trying to understand people's behavior, and have decided its a hopeless pursuit. Why? Because of two general truths. IN the first place, people are pretty much selfish and self centered. Second, people are subject to their emotions which means they act according to how they feel, not logic reason, or general societal "rules". Now they aren't totally lawless. Society has punishments for breaking some rules. To have any kind of life, generally, most people have to work, obey the boss cause if you don't you have no money. You have to pay the bills etc. or you have no heat, no housing etc.
But in personal relationships, there are few punishments. And so here people will do one thing in one set of circumstances, and something completely different in an almost identical situation because just one variable changed.(And that variable could be as simple as today is Tuesday.)
For example, In Sex and the city. Charolete sleeps with all kinds of men. But when she meets Tray, she refuses till they are about to get married, cause she thinks he's "the one"? To me it looks like she uses sex sometimes to manipulate, but other times she just wants to have fun. This is why people are totally unpredictable because who knows what is going on in their head. But the bottom line is their behavior could easily change in the wink of an eye for no apparent reason, and so understanding human behavior is impossible.
You do know Tray has problems with getting an erection. And only gets off to hustler. Then Charlotte goes to divorce him and finds herself in love with Harry a divorce lawyer. He who is less perfect in her perfect world but she desires him and loves him. He is the best man for her.
Humans are different everyday. Some are strong or weak.I think our brains however are amazing. If we only used more of it instead of a small portion.
For 40 years I have been trying to understand people's behavior, and have decided its a hopeless pursuit. Why? Because of two general truths. IN the first place, people are pretty much selfish and self centered. Second, people are subject to their emotions which means they act according to how they feel, not logic reason, or general societal "rules". Now they aren't totally lawless. Society has punishments for breaking some rules. To have any kind of life, generally, most people have to work, obey the boss cause if you don't you have no money. You have to pay the bills etc. or you have no heat, no housing etc.
But in personal relationships, there are few punishments. And so here people will do one thing in one set of circumstances, and something completely different in an almost identical situation because just one variable changed.(And that variable could be as simple as today is Tuesday.)
For example, In Sex and the city. Charolete sleeps with all kinds of men. But when she meets Tray, she refuses till they are about to get married, cause she thinks he's "the one"? To me it looks like she uses sex sometimes to manipulate, but other times she just wants to have fun. This is why people are totally unpredictable because who knows what is going on in their head. But the bottom line is their behavior could easily change in the wink of an eye for no apparent reason, and so understanding human behavior is impossible.
I do not agree with you! 1 all the words that you have described can not be. Here's an example from my life. I have money and I have no boss. I can work, I can not work. But the money I earn even when I'm not working. 2 people have different character. There are several types of character. And it tllko you think that change in one variable. In fact, out of a few. I for example can identify 65 percent of a person's character and behavior of all in several photos(to determine the nature and behavior). I studied the physiognomy when I was at university.
For example, In Sex and the city. Charolete sleeps with all kinds of men. But when she meets Tray, she refuses till they are about to get married, cause she thinks he's "the one"? To me it looks like she uses sex sometimes to manipulate, but other times she just wants to have fun. This is why people are totally unpredictable because who knows what is going on in their head. But the bottom line is their behavior could easily change in the wink of an eye for no apparent reason, and so understanding human behavior is impossible.
Really? You use an example of a sitcom as your reasoning for not understanding human behavior and you're having an issue as to understanding why you cannot?
Perhaps you should get out more in the real world and experience REAL human behavior and or a real personal relationship.
I only use "Sex in the City" as a illustration because in general, illustrations are better if you have something that a lot of people have common knowledge of. I used it also, because I've read various forums and people have expressed that they do similar things in real life. I've heard of women who have a very moral reputation at home, yet go on vacation and party. Where do you think the expression, "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" comes from.
Another example. I had an ex-girlfriend come on to me in a very overt fashion (sober) many years ago before I was married. But we couldn't find a place as we both had roommates, and it was the middle of the week and the dead of winter. (College). So I called her a few weeks later about getting together and got 100% shot down, like what had happened two weeks before had never happened.
Maybe you don't remember but you didn't find out about Tray's problem until she tries to sleep with him just hours before the wedding. So that doesn't apply to the illustration. My point is that Charolette thinks Tray might be the one, so she waits. With Harry, she jumps in the sack right away.
People (myself included) have mixed, conflicted feelings-
hence the irrationality, because of the nearly-constant struggle going on in a given person between competing values/motives/demands.
I give off mixed messages because I'm "on the fence" about a number of things,
and I can't just pick one way of being & stick with that, it's a chronic negotiating stance I have towards my desires/priorities.
I want to be a good person, not cause harm to anyone else-yet I also am selfish & want/need what I want/need,
that right there sets me up for perpetually warring impulses/behavioral imperatives.
For 40 years I have been trying to understand people's behavior, and have decided its a hopeless pursuit. Why? Because of two general truths. IN the first place, people are pretty much selfish and self centered. Second, people are subject to their emotions which means they act according to how they feel, not logic reason, or general societal "rules".
Difficult to understand human behavior because of the evolution/degeneration of the human psyche and all respective variables as times change and passes.
Understanding human behavior is impossible because people are almost never honest about their true motivations. When you ask a person why they did something.. they will usually tell you the most socially acceptable reason.. or the reason that will present them in the best light. Therefore.. we never know anyone's TRUE motivations for the majority of what they do.
Another problem is we can only understand people to the degree we can put ourselves in their shoes. But even in their shoes.. we are not in their heads. For instance, if you have a friend that washes their car every week.. you would ask yourself: "What would make me wash my car every week?" However.. the reasons and motivations you come up with might be totally different from those of your friend.
You might imagine you would wash your car every week to keep it looking new or so you can sell it soon. However, your friend might wash it every week because they know someone at the car wash they want to have sex with or maybe that person gives them a discount.. or maybe they just like car washes. You never know!
Humans don't have access (conscious awareness) of all the factors/influences that contribute to their/our behavior.
I can't say "my amygdala is more sensitive to threat than most people's, so I appraise this stimuli as scary", for instance.
*I don't know* the ways my genes manifest/are expressed and how those impact my thoughts, feelings, sensations, and behaviors-
not to mention, how my anatomy and balance of hormones, neurotransmitters, etc, are functioning & therefore help make me the person I find myself to be.
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