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Old 09-11-2013, 07:15 AM
bg7
 
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OP - dude you're spelling nowadays as "now-a-days", which is how it was written in the 1400s. So you're likely stuck in the past. The ancient past. No wonder hugging seems new-fangled to you.
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Old 09-11-2013, 07:18 AM
 
Location: Victoria TX
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pruzhany View Post
Are you homophobic? Outside of the US it is common to see people of the same sex hugging, holding hands, arms on each others shoulders and kissing the left & right facial cheek. Its all signs of friendship.
But is it not also a sexual gesture, which is used as a part of foreplay? Correct cues are not always present, which would unambiguously indicate what the intention of the other party is.

Americans have become so conscious of this, that even eye contact between strangers is avoided in public places, for fear that it will be interpreted as an openness to further intimacy of a sexual nature.

Even Canada, one notices a huge difference in eye contact, where strangers cheerfully exchange recognition in a supermarket aisle and even a friendly comment. In the US, I've learned to be very careful to avoid eye contact with shoppers of the opposite gender. If eye contact is accidentally made, the woman invariably will tighten the corners of her mouth into a very fake and almost apologetic smile, then quickly look away.

Last edited by jtur88; 09-11-2013 at 07:33 AM..
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Old 09-11-2013, 07:18 AM
 
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I don't know. When I met my OBGYN for the first time, she hugged me and seemed really excited to see me. It was weird!
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Old 09-11-2013, 08:24 AM
 
Location: The Ranch in Olam Haba
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jtur88 View Post
But is it not also a sexual gesture, which is used as a part of foreplay? .
Outside of the United States. No.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jtur88 View Post
.... In the US, I've learned to be very careful to avoid eye contact with shoppers of the opposite gender. If eye contact is accidentally made, the woman invariably will tighten the corners of her mouth into a very fake and almost apologetic smile, then quickly look away.
Living in the Southern US, I've travelled most of the US and most of the world. What you're stating is common to cities in the US that have Northern transplants in them. In most of the US when I've made eye contact, the response has been usually been a positive acknowledgement. The worst city in the US for making eye contact is NYC.
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Old 09-11-2013, 08:31 AM
 
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I only hug people when they're someone I care for and I haven't seen them in a long time, or if I'm congratulating a friend/family member.
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Old 09-11-2013, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jtur88 View Post
Nobody hugs me.

Here's a cyber hug for you. I can't tell you how many patients family members I've hugged during their time of extreme distress. Some of my coworkers are offended when the family members hug them but I view it as a basic act of kindness. As mammals we need physical contact, heck even my chickens enjoyed their hugs from me. To each their own I guess but for me I prefer to be tactile.
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Old 09-11-2013, 10:17 AM
 
Location: Niagara Region
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My children are in their late 20s and one girl in their group of friends always hugs everyone as they meet, and again when they leave. It seems very fake to me. And I think that's the key. Is it real or is it Memorex?

I have been hugged in sitations where it feels extremely unnatural, and other hugs have left me just not wanting to let go.

I think the OP is referring these cool faddish hugs that probably were inspired by beautiful people in beer commercials. Yuck. :P
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Old 09-11-2013, 10:19 AM
 
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I also hate all the hugging that's going on. But I never considered it a multicultural thing, like people picked it up from Europe or the mid-east. Just a weird thing that people have started doing in the past 10 years or so.

I think I recently posted about this elsewhere. Too many people today want to hug hello, and then hug goodbye. I think of hugging as something I would do with someone I haven't seen in a long time, or perhaps someone who has just broken down in tears. But now it seems you're expected to hug people hello, and then when the gathering is over, go around and hug them all goodbye.

What ever happened to a smile and a warm "hello"? That's not good enough anymore? I now have to cuddle and spoon you whenever I greet you?

It's been getting contagious it seems. My family were never huggers. I liked it that way, nice & WASPy. I pretty much grew up without physical contact from my parents and family from the time I was potty trained. We always knew we loved each other; we just didn't do all the touchy-feely stuff. Life was good.

I've been with my boyfriend like 13 years now, and I soon learned that his family were all touchy-feely huggers. We go to his parents' or brother's house, and you have to hug every person hello. Then after the dinner or whatever, and you're ready to leave, you have to hug every person goodbye. People like me who don't like it are considered "chilly."

But during the time I've been with my boyfriend, I looked around and saw that the ways of his family were becoming more and more common. I'd see people meeting in the store and hugging. Friends who just saw each other 2 days ago hugging. Even people at work hugging! It was like some virus people were catching.

Then I recently went to a gathering with my own family, and my mom hugged me hello!
What?!?! She's caught the virus too! It seems that she and her girlfriends have all become huggers. It's like "invasion of the body snatchers."

But those of us who don't like all that physical contact are now considered weird. I get labeled chilly. And look, someone in this thread just got accused of being homophobic, just because they don't like hugging. Sheesh!

Next we'll be expected to tongue-kiss the UPS guy when we greet him, or fondle the next-door neighbor! Enough already.
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Old 09-11-2013, 10:34 AM
 
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TracySam, love your post [[[hug]]] -- kidding, kidding. My family was the same way as yours, but I knew from the way they spoke to me, did things for me and with me that I was loved completely and deeply. I, too, have been labeled chilly and/or weird! I like the part about being expected to tongue-kiss the UPS guy--I'll have to remember that the next time somebody says, "Oh, you're not a hugger, are you?"
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Old 09-11-2013, 10:34 AM
 
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People hugged each other for centuries, just read books, fact or fiction, based in a historical context and you will see this as a common way to greet someone.

Not hugging is the actual "fad" if compared to history. I give credit for this not hugging fad to the puritan traits the US culture has, and is slowly going away.
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