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Old 04-28-2024, 03:48 PM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
8,856 posts, read 3,993,075 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rokuremote View Post
Anecdotal, perhaps, but I think you can divide (non-family) huggers into two categories...those for whom it's a casual, ordinary sign of friendly greeting and those who enjoy the occasional whiff of sexuality.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
Sorry, but I strongly disagree with you (and CalvinT). I don’t think a ‘whiff of sexuality’ within the context of a hug to convey empathy, concern, support (or to greet/part ways with a close friend) is in any way, shape or form ‘normal behavior’ or psychologically healthy. Rather, it’s abnormal psychology if one’s hugging behavior is controlled (for or against) by such.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rokuremote View Post
Ummm, I was also disagreeing with CalvinT. I read in his post he enjoys that whiff and would be in that latter category.

I do not directly or indirectly enjoy hugs with that whiff. I am in the former category.
I still disagree with your post/perspective. You can’t divide huggers into two such categories as you’ve taken an ordinary, psychologically-healthy expression of friendship, empathy or comfort and split it into a second category representative of sexual/social dysfunction.
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Old 04-28-2024, 03:51 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
I still disagree with your post/perspective. You can’t divide huggers into two such categories as you’ve taken an ordinary, psychologically-healthy expression of friendship, empathy or comfort and split it into a second category representative of sexual/social dysfunction.
You got it!
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Old 04-28-2024, 03:59 PM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
8,856 posts, read 3,993,075 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rokuremote View Post
You got it!
Then their sexual or social perception/dysfunction is the problem, not the hug - particularly if they’re assuming such about their friends (relative to some sort of category) to accept or reject hugging, as a whole.
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Old 04-28-2024, 04:02 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
Then their sexual or social perception/dysfunction is the problem, not the hug - particularly if they’re assuming such about their friends (relative to some sort of category) to accept or reject hugging, as a whole.
Yes.
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Old 04-28-2024, 04:20 PM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
8,856 posts, read 3,993,075 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazee Cat Lady View Post
Some people are Huggers and some people aren't.
No big deal, one way or the other IMO.
I agree most don’t like to hug acquaintances or persons they don’t know well; it’s common sense, really. That said, do you think there are folks who are against hugging those they are close to, particularly relative to a greeting/goodbye, a time of loss or to convey love, joy or empathy.

When my ex lost our baby, many friends gave me a hug at that time to express their sympathy/concern. Is there anyone who would say ‘no, thanks, I’m just not a hugger’ in such a situation? What about in a wedding line or if a friend loses their mom or spouse? What if a close friend is moving across the country?

In other words, I think everyone is a hugger relative to an appropriate scenario with a loved one (provided they genuinely care and want to convey such).
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Old 04-29-2024, 04:48 AM
 
245 posts, read 80,718 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
I still disagree with your post/perspective. You can’t divide huggers into two such categories as you’ve taken an ordinary, psychologically-healthy expression of friendship, empathy or comfort and split it into a second category representative of sexual/social dysfunction.
How do you explain my nephew's wife only wanting to hug me and not the other uncles when we get together?
I know you have me on 'trial' here, but remember, I'm not initiating this. She probably has a little crush ... nobody is making it sexual except some posters here.

Last edited by CalvinT; 04-29-2024 at 04:59 AM..
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Old 04-29-2024, 08:44 AM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
8,856 posts, read 3,993,075 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CalvinT View Post
How do you explain my nephew's wife only wanting to hug me and not the other uncles when we get together?
I know you have me on 'trial' here, but remember, I'm not initiating this. She probably has a little crush ... nobody is making it sexual except some posters here.
There is a huge distinction between knowing your nephew’s wife has a crush or interest in you vs. assuming she does relative to a hug and the sexual connotation you’ve (creepily) ascribed to it.
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Old 04-29-2024, 08:56 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
29,001 posts, read 30,423,456 times
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For me, hugging in the work place is off limits....

had a boss who insisted on intentionally being overwhelming and intrusive in asking personal questions, copying the work of others, and boasting about himself....when he first started as leader of our group, I was warned that he'd try and hug me....so when he moved in, I just stretched out my arm and said, "I don't do hugs" and I believe he got the message.
I guess it depends on the person, but I am not a hugger to begin with...and if someone tries to force you to do so, you have every right to resist and stand your ground for your personal constitution.
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Old 04-29-2024, 09:17 AM
 
Location: SF/Mill Valley
8,856 posts, read 3,993,075 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
For me, hugging in the work place is off limits....
It’s inappropriate in a professional environment, as a whole; hugging is meant to be mutually shared between friends and loved ones. That said, again, specific scenarios (and how well you know someone) may dictate suitability in the workplace - such as grief or farewell parties.
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Old 04-29-2024, 12:21 PM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
29,001 posts, read 30,423,456 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
From my perspective, it projects a lack of awareness or anger/sadness relative to frustration and loneliness. You’re associating hugs with attraction rather than as emotional support or a social greeting/goodbye relative to those we know and care about.

Per the thread, it’s common psychological knowledge sharing a hug (with those we are close to) reduces stress/conflict, heals negative feelings, conveys empathy/care and improves overall mental health and well-being.


yes, indeed.....
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