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I can't believe how many times in the past few weeks that I've read in one forum or another that someone doesn't want to complain, file charges, tell the authorities, speak to a manager, talk to wrong doers, etc, all because they live in a small town and everybody knows everybody.
WHY????
Come on folks. Right and wrong are always right or wrong!
Not reporting wrong or illegal behavior only enables, or encourages, the individual to repeat an offense.
"I live in a small town" is not a legitimate reason not for someone to act!!
Fundamentally, I agree with you. But the reason people don't want to report someone who has done something wrong in a small town is because, probably, half the town knows and may like, or side with (rightly or wrongly) that person. And now you've just made enemies with half the town. That doesn't make life easy.
Have you lived there all your life or are you a newcomer or transplant. I can definitely see it being difficult if you're the former but I wouldn't hesitate to report people if I were the latter.
I live in a small town and people are very hesitant to complain against a neighbor unless there is something truly egregious happening. And having sat on several local boards that handle complaints, when we review the local codes and standards and rule for one party or another, as an individual board member I am often now thought of as a badass for simply enforcing the rules. I was part of a rule-based decision 20 years ago and some of those people who were aggrieved by the decision still don't speak to me. Oh well.
It's especially difficult if you report something that ends up costing someone money, or involves a visit from the police. You can be subject to all kinds of retaliation that goes beyond people not speaking to you. In small towns, people have looooooong memories.
Maybe it's me, but I can take people not liking me.
I just can't take dishonest or illegal behavior.
I was taught, and taught my children, that life isn't' easy. So, work hard, do the right thing and go out live with the outcomes
But you most likely do not live in a small town. Small town living is different. You might have one maybe two providers of whatever. They may be related. You make one mad you made them all mad. It’s just a different type of thinking.
That’s why people who move to small towns may eventually be accepted but will never be in that inner circle
When you live in a big town if you don’t like x you can go elsewhere.
But you most likely do not live in a small town. Small town living is different. You might have one maybe two providers of whatever. They may be related. You make one mad you made them all mad. It’s just a different type of thinking.
That’s why people who move to small towns may eventually be accepted but will never be in that inner circle
When you live in a big town if you don’t like x you can go elsewhere.
Yes. I agree.
OP, it's easy to say what you're saying if you don't live in a small town.
Maybe it's me, but I can take people not liking me.
I just can't take dishonest or illegal behavior.
I was taught, and taught my children, that life isn't' easy. So, work hard, do the right thing and go out live with the outcomes
But what if it influences your ability to get a job? Or your kids start getting bullied at school? I think you may underestimate how far some people will go to be loyal to someone you're accusing of something. And in a small town, the likelihood that everyone knows about it and many of them are loyal to whoever you reported is very high. Restaurants might refuse to serve you, or spit in your food. Other businesses may refuse your custom too. If it gets really bad, your car or home could be vandalized. It may sound extreme, but it depends who you're accusing of what and how many friends that person has in the small town. I am not saying any of those things mean you should back down, on the contrary, more illegal activity like vandalism would only spur me to get justice, but not everyone is the same and many people may feel whatever it is they originally reported is not worth the trouble it brought or might bring.
Do you actually live in a small town, or have you ever?
"I live in a small town" is not a legitimate reason not for someone to act!!
Or, is it????????
In many towns you have a choice to make: Rock the boat for your personal satisfaction or move away. You can't have it both ways. Rock the boat and you may thoroughly enjoy it, but ultimately you will need to move. Your alternative is to tolerate the situation you don't like, but if you like the town more you can stay. It's a dichotomy you may not like, but in many small towns it is very real.
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