U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-29-2013, 06:03 PM
 
Location: Planet Earth
2,781 posts, read 2,659,731 times
Reputation: 5005

Advertisements

As opposed to a NON-narcissist???
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-29-2013, 06:38 PM
 
4,677 posts, read 3,649,987 times
Reputation: 8211
Because they are good at identifying their victims' needs and then pretending to meet those needs.

Their target then feels "understood and liked/loved." Everyone likes someone who likes them.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-29-2013, 06:40 PM
 
Location: Florida
2,291 posts, read 5,287,501 times
Reputation: 5258
I guess you haven't met my mother...there is nothing charming about her behavior, she has been diagnosed as being a narcissist, and, I have never heard anyone say that she was likeable.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-29-2013, 07:01 PM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA
19,422 posts, read 14,981,574 times
Reputation: 20149
Narcissists are good observers...they learn how to act like normal people...as in,
wishing you a happy birthday, complimenting you, bringing a bottle of wine to
your party...but all thru these motions...they still do it for self-aggrandizement.

Please, note...it is a mental illness...just as liver disease is an illness...this just
happens to do with synapses in the brain that do not exist....no connection.
These people have been damaged....it's not their fault.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-29-2013, 07:54 PM
 
Location: In bucolic TN
1,618 posts, read 2,830,805 times
Reputation: 2147
They start out being so agreeable and emphasizing your great qualities and then they get you to do a favor. In their desire to align with you, they ask you to align with them, the typical reciprocity seen in relationships. That's when bad goes to worse. The alignment is now a welcome mat and a stepping stone. Because it is early and you aren't savvy, it starts becoming a slippery slope to know them. They are still putting out but there is less from them and more from you, and the more typically requires greater expenditure on your part, of time, money, valuable assets. We work harder than they to connect more with them. 'How can someone dislike me or be discouraged with me so quickly' is what we begin saying and that is when we work more. And then we find the trap. Ultimately, it is about reflecting us so well and readily and we are hooked that much more easily. The reflection is easy, the cost and price is our labor and investment. This is how they work and it is done without conscience.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-29-2013, 11:59 PM
 
58 posts, read 70,686 times
Reputation: 70
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn View Post
Narcissists are good observers...they learn how to act like normal people...as in,
wishing you a happy birthday, complimenting you, bringing a bottle of wine to
your party...but all thru these motions...they still do it for self-aggrandizement.

Please, note...it is a mental illness...just as liver disease is an illness...this just
happens to do with synapses in the brain that do not exist....no connection.
These people have been damaged....it's not their fault.
Totally not true. They can get help, just like anyone else with a mental illness.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-30-2013, 12:09 AM
 
3,184 posts, read 6,341,347 times
Reputation: 1818
All I know is my wife had the encounter of working with one of these "control freaks" The secret to dealing with them is to just avoid them if possible. If not you will have to do some research on this personality disorder in order for you to learn how to defend yourself from the attack which will come the FIRST TIME you disagree with her...They thrive on confrontations and if you have to submit because they are your boss it is a living horror. The good news is all of them have "buttons" you can push which will send them into a frenzy ....just step back when you do...lol
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-30-2013, 04:22 AM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA
19,422 posts, read 14,981,574 times
Reputation: 20149
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustinCaseIII View Post
Totally not true.
They can get help, just like anyone else with a mental illness.
Unless, there has been some breakthrough narcissism is on the list of "incurable".
Synapses can't be repaired where there are none. Like repairing a bridge...but
there never was one.
Like sociopaths /anti-socials...it is labeled "incurable".

Now, "help" as you say, maybe to learn to act normal...sure.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-30-2013, 04:29 AM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA
19,422 posts, read 14,981,574 times
Reputation: 20149
A control freak is different than a narcissist, it's more of a compulsive disorder....usually
due to having no control as a child, so, "Darnnit, I'll have control now of my environment'...
It's not meant to hurt another, it's a survival, coping technique, for a person in deep pain.
..however, a narcissist can
be a control freak, ha!
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-30-2013, 04:42 AM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
41,568 posts, read 51,441,853 times
Reputation: 72023
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustinCaseIII View Post
Totally not true. They can get help, just like anyone else with a mental illness.
Usually, they do not get help, because, by definition, they think that nothing is wrong with them.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top