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Yes, but people on C-D feel it's their right to be all up in your (general) business. Well, people in general. Because let's be real, if this was true in anyway, there wouldn't have ever been issues with inter-racial marriage, gay marriage, etc, etc, etc. Everyone likes to be in everyone's business and for some odd reason, they feel they have a right to it, because in some odd way, they feel it affects their life. Amazing, but true.
I think it is entirely okay to express personal opinions / dating preferences
For example,
" I won't date single fathers because A B C D" However, I don't think there is truly 100% freedom of speech.
Example "any men who date single mothers are losers, and their dating options are limited." This statement crossed the line because it is simply untrue. One's choices do not include slander and lies. With free speech comes responsibility. Something soulfully lacking in today's humans!
We'll have to agree to disagree.
Freedom of speech includes all the bad, as well as the good. To me, even writing lies and slander is still freedom of speech. Otherwise, it wouldn't be freedom of speech. It'd be called, "you're not allowed to say anything negative about anyone/thing" and well, then we have a whole other political regime ruling us. You can't have one without the other and that is freedom of speech. Think about it this way, burning the flag is freedom of speech. So is protesting things (and let's be real, they use slander all the time). You can't have one without the other. Both are still freedom of speech. Think about it.
Desperation if not fear of the single mothers (especially those down the food chain) cannot be underestimated. No single man, no matter his social status and physical attractiveness, can be that desperate. Many single mothers expect men they date (i.e. sleep with, there is no much time for anything else) to help with kids, finances and other things, many are seeking a father figure for their kids. Help with kids and stuff is silently expected.
Yes, it's a broad generalization, but women are not particularly sexually attracted to the "nice" guys who are willing to take on other men kids. It's not what an alpha guy would do. It's not what man/men who have impregnated her have done. This introduces ambivalence into relationship where a single mother needs a guy, maybe she even respects him as a human being and/or a provider, but deep down her "biology" (seeking alphas) rejects him for being a weakling and sticking around, and she treats him accordingly. As soon as litter is raised, a man frequently is kicked to the curb. Actually, the only marriages of single mothers and single guys I can personally recollect are the marriages where poor guys were bossed around, disrespected in multitude of ways and generally ignored (having kids in common helps but not that much). Marriage is a key word here. While dating and trying to keep a promising man many single mothers would do (despicable) things, like ignoring molestation of their kids. Once the deal is closed, watch out, you failed a test for being an alpha, and her brain cannot control her sexual preferences.
Many single mothers are single mothers because they chose not to abort (after one night stand with a perfect stranger in a public restroom, for example) viewing their pregnancy as a sign from the above. It's a peculiar religiosity, sleeping around is OK, abortion is not OK. So if she gets pregnant by you, whether you want it or not, get ready to furnish child support as the very least, for you and that anonymous Mr. X who has spread his genes for free. Circumstances of single motherhood are very important, if single men feel unstoppable attraction to single mothers, it's a must to know.
Last edited by RememberMee; 10-13-2013 at 09:02 PM..
Okay, so single men who rule out single mothers from the get-go are generally shallow. Got it. Now do an experiment for me. Go onto some online dating sites and tell me which gender puts more conditions on potential suitors and rules out more potential dates than the other. You don't even need to look, do you? Of course, I am fine with that. We are attracted to who we are attracted to. What gets a tad old is the double standard. A great many, and I'm tempted to say most, females place a high value on what a potential mate makes. Not that he has to be rich, but what he makes is important. Very few men care what a woman makes. Does that make women "shallow?" I don't know, but they think it's important. How often do you hear men complaining about this? Most every single guy over the age of 21 or 22 understands that what they make will determine how wide a field they will be able to date in the future. Should they be complaining more about this?
Getting back to men who rule out single mothers, I hate to break this to some of you, but there are millions of men (and women) who have no interest in having kids. Is it unreasonable or a mark on their characters that they choose not to date people with kids right off the bat? Others simply want a relationship with a woman and are not interested in having to deal with a kid at that point in their lives. Again, is that unreasonable or immature? Wouldn't the immature response be to date someone knowing that they will eventually have a problem with the kid?
Desperation if not fear of the single mothers (especially those down the food chain) cannot be underestimated. No single man, no matter his social status and physical attractiveness, can be that desperate. Many single mothers expect men they date (i.e. sleep with, there is no much time for anything else) to help with kids, finances and other things, many are seeking a father figure for their kids. Help with kids and stuff is silently expected.
Yes, it's a broad generalization, but women are not particularly sexually attracted to the "nice" guys who are willing to take on other men kids. It's not what an alpha guy would do. It's not what man/men who have impregnated her have done. This introduces ambivalence into relationship where a single mother needs a guy, maybe she even respects him as a human being but deep down her "biology" (seeking alphas) rejects him for being a weakling and sticking around, and she treats him accordingly. As soon as litter is raised, a man frequently is kicked to the curb. Actually, the only marriages of single mothers and single guys I can personally recollect are the marriages where poor guys were bossed around, disrespected in multitude of ways and generally ignored (having kids in common helps but not that much). Marriage is a key word here. While dating and trying to keep a promising man many single mothers would do (despicable) things, like ignoring molestation of their kids. Once the deal is closed, watch out, you failed a test for being an alpha, and her brain cannot control her sexual preferences.
Many single mothers are single mothers because they chose not to abort (after one night stand with a perfect stranger in a public restroom, for example) viewing their pregnancy as a sign from the above. It's a peculiar religiosity, sleeping around is OK, abortion is not OK. So if she gets pregnant by you, whether you want it or not, get ready to furnish child support as the very least, for you and that anonymous Mr. X who has spread his genes for free. Circumstances of single motherhood are very important, if single men feel unstoppable attraction to single mothers, it's a must to know.
You are touching on something that is important. Many of these single mothers have kids with grade-Z losers. Now, later on, they're interested in dating someone who isn't a drug addict, doesn't beat them, is gainfully employed and hasn't had kids with multiple women. In part because these women now have baggage of their own, the new guys may not be all that interested, given that there are tens of millions of other women out there, many of whom don't have that kind of baggage.
Ostracism is a powerful tool. So is peer pressure.
Children of single parent families do not do so well. Single mothers are a financial drain on tax-payers and other resources.
Such a stigma would go a long way to restoring some sanity.
The point would be to ultimately reduce the number of divorces, reduce the number of single-parent families and illegitimate children, so that fewer people suffer....
...unless, of course, you think suffering is cool.
So, do you? You know, think suffering is cool? I don't.
Stigmatizing...
Mircea
I have enjoyed many of your posts, but this is a gross and unfair generalization. Women end up as single mothers for a wide variety of reasons, and many children raised by a single parent aren't "suffering" for it, as such.
There is already a significant stigma against single motherhood in this country. No need to ramp it up. Ever consider that the stigma adds to the suffering you perceive?
I have enjoyed many of your posts, but this is a gross and unfair generalization. Women end up as single mothers for a wide variety of reasons, and many children raised by a single parent aren't "suffering" for it, as such.
There is already a significant stigma against single motherhood in this country. No need to ramp it up. Ever consider that the stigma adds to the suffering you perceive?
Actually, the only marriages of single mothers and single guys I can personally recollect are the marriages where poor guys were bossed around, disrespected in multitude of ways and generally ignored (having kids in common helps but not that much). Marriage is a key word here. While dating and trying to keep a promising man many single mothers would do (despicable) things, like ignoring molestation of their kids. Once the deal is closed, watch out, you failed a test for being an alpha, and her brain cannot control her sexual preferences.
So according to you, guys who marry single mothers are either poor guys or child molesters?
Children of single parent families do not do so well. Single mothers are a financial drain on tax-payers and other resources.
Such a stigma would go a long way to restoring some sanity.
The point would be to ultimately reduce the number of divorces, reduce the number of single-parent families and illegitimate children, so that fewer people suffer....
Mircea
As a single mom with a graduate degree who has worked and paid taxes my entire life, paid for my son's preschool and his room and board while he attended college on a scholarship, and is now helping him with some graduate school expenses, and received very little in the way of child support (my choice), my dream is that one day people are as sensitive about denigrating us as they are about suggesting that most black people are on welfare and commit crimes.
Women are more educated than men these days, more independent, and perfectly capable of raising well-adjusted, successful children. I refuse to be viewed as a second-class citizen while there are dysfunctional two-parent families raising maladjusted children who are considered "better" than my family because the parents are together. There are a lot of miserable two-parent households out there.
I have a number of male friends who are very happy stepfathers, and I myself had a stepson I was very close to until his untimely death at age 24. As with so many facets of human behavior, I think it's unhelpful to generalize about such things. It depends very much on the individual people involved. I still have Mother's Day cards my stepson gave me and I treasure them almost more than those from my son, because that relationship was an unexpected gift.
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