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Hmmmm...a person that has zero first hand experience as what it is like to be a single parent giving advice to others. I'm sorry but most women I've worked with who had an abortion have at some point regrets about their decision.
The pull out method is not, as you suggested and provided alternatives, reliable.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinkmani
Firstly, I'm not a parent. My intentions aren't to insult others. I know that if I were to become pregnant out of wedlock (which is very unlikely), and he didn't want to be involved then off to the clinic I'd go. In my opinion, it doesn't seem logical to have a child with someone who doesn't want to be involved. I'm a strong believer that two parents are better than one.
Men have three forms of contraception: vasectomy, a condom, or the withdrawal method.
*To those who argue that the withdrawal method isn't reliable:
Women have several forms of contraception that they can use before intercourse: 2 implants, the patch, different BC pills, a shot, Nuvaring, cervical cap, female condom, diaphragm, calendar method, IUD, and tubal litigation. Not to mention, after they have sex, she has the morning-after pill, the sponge, spermicide, and the right to an abortion.
I didn't do this, but some women get pregnant on purpose with a man they know doesn't want to be involved because they want to be the "only" parent and not have a father involved. A 2 parent family is best, I agree, and that is probably the way most people start out having kids, but the reality is that there is a 50% chance of divorce and it is very common for relationships to fall apart. It is great to go into a pregnancy with a committed spouse, it just doesn't always stay that way.
Hmmmm...a person that has zero first hand experience as what it is like to be a single parent giving advice to others. I'm sorry but most women I've worked with who had an abortion have at some point regrets about their decision.
The pull out method is not, as you suggested and provided alternatives, reliable.
Where was I giving advice? The pull out method is reliable, when it's done correctly (every time).
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trishguard
Divorced people with children are not single parents. They are divorced parents.
Generally they refer to themselves as single mothers/fathers. Every divorced mother I've met/dated certainly has not called herself a divorced mother, but a single mother. They are in fact, single as opposed to being married or in a committed relationship. Even with the single (divorced) father in the picture, they're still single.
Where was I giving advice? The pull out method is reliable, when it's done correctly (every time).
Right. Please. Leave family planning assistance discussions to qualified medical professionals. Thank you.
Some men are very smooth, and work their way to what they want, and bail if the tummy gets round. And in case you forgot, an abortion is quite expensive, some places, you need to drive a full day to even get to a clinic where the procedure is performed. And not everyone has a car. Gasp!
So, the options are have the baby, give it up for adoption, or keep it. Many cultures, it is a status symbol to have a child...the fact that the Father bails, should reflect on him, not a woman who is raising a child alone.
Right. Please. Leave family planning assistance discussions to qualified medical professionals. Thank you.
Some men are very smooth, and work their way to what they want, and bail if the tummy gets round. And in case you forgot, an abortion is quite expensive, some places, you need to drive a full day to even get to a clinic where the procedure is performed. And not everyone has a car. Gasp!
So, the options are have the baby, give it up for adoption, or keep it. Many cultures, it is a status symbol to have a child...the fact that the Father bails, should reflect on him, not a woman who is raising a child alone.
In my OP, I gave a link (Planned Parenthood) that has the statistics on the effectiveness of the pull out method. Therefore, I can say that because it's factual. The pull out method is the oldest form of birth control. It is also known as coitus interruptus.
A 2 parent family is best, I agree, and that is probably the way most people start out having kids, but the reality is that there is a 50% chance of divorce and it is very common for relationships to fall apart. It is great to go into a pregnancy with a committed spouse, it just doesn't always stay that way.
No it's not. That stat is a myth, straight up. If looking at the rate of marriages in a given year, there will be approx half as many divorces, but that is completely irrespective of previous year marriage rates. If a woman wants to use an incorrect statistic to justify single parenting well..that's there perogative but they should give marriage a try.
How many American marriages end in divorce? One in two, if you believe the statistic endlessly repeated in news media reports, academic papers and campaign speeches.
The figure is based on a simple - and flawed - calculation: the annual marriage rate per 1,000 people compared with the annual divorce rate. In 2003, for example, the most recent year for which data is available, there were 7.5 marriages per 1,000 people and 3.8 divorces, according to the National Center for Health Statistics.
But researchers say that this is misleading because the people who are divorcing in any given year are not the same as those who are marrying, and that the statistic is virtually useless in understanding divorce rates. In fact, they say, studies find that the divorce rate in the United States has never reached one in every two marriages, and new research suggests that, with rates now declining, it probably never will.
The method preferred by social scientists in determining the divorce rate is to calculate how many people who have ever married subsequently divorced. Counted that way, the rate has never exceeded about 41 percent, researchers say. Although sharply rising rates in the 1970's led some to project that the number would keep increasing, the rate has instead begun to inch downward.
"At this point, unless there's some kind of turnaround, I wouldn't expect any cohort to reach 50 percent, since none already has," said Dr. Rose M. Kreider, a demographer in the Fertility and Family Statistics Branch of the Census Bureau.
Sometimes it is simply about wanting the child, period.
Plus, while there's merit to the studies that a two-parent home is better for the child, there are a lot of things left unmentioned, like the fact that the quality of the parenting and of the dynamic in the home is important, not just having two people present. A child growing up with two biological parents who have a toxic relationship won't be better off than a child growing up with a single parent (or guardians who aren't their biological parents) who provide emotional stability as well as financial and a positive environment conducive to raising a healthy child.
The biological father not being in the child's life doesn't mean the child will never have two people who love and care for him/her. It just means the father won't be one of them. It also doesn't doom the child to ruin if the mother raises the child alone. It's difficult, I'm sure, but how many people even on this board believe they came out pretty darn good being raised by just one loving parent, whether they were born out of wedlock or because their parent is divorced, separated, or a widow?
Ultimately, I think it comes down to how much the woman really wants the child though all of the other factors mentioned here matter too.
Last edited by cyberphonics; 10-15-2013 at 12:42 PM..
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