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For some women (like myself), mothering skills come naturally. As far as mastering diaper changing, there's a class for that.
If your husband thinks that way, then his head is screwed on backwards. Some women are able to pull it all off.
I have a question, if you are not a parent, how can you make the statement that mothering skills come naturally to you. While I do agree that for some women it does come naturally but sometimes there are woman that need to work on it.
Firstly, I'm not a parent. My intentions aren't to insult others. I know that if I were to become pregnant out of wedlock (which is very unlikely), and he didn't want to be involved then off to the clinic I'd go. In my opinion, it doesn't seem logical to have a child with someone who doesn't want to be involved. I'm a strong believer that two parents are better than one.
Men have three forms of contraception: vasectomy, a condom, or the withdrawal method.
*To those who argue that the withdrawal method isn't reliable:
Women have several forms of contraception that they can use before intercourse: 2 implants, the patch, different BC pills, a shot, Nuvaring, cervical cap, female condom, diaphragm, calendar method, IUD, and tubal litigation. Not to mention, after they have sex, she has the morning-after pill, the sponge, spermicide, and the right to an abortion.
Some guys lie or change their minds. Some women lie about being on birth control. Sometimes, birth control doesn't work. Regardless of how they "ended up pregnant", they had 2 choices to make, kill it or carry it. If they choose to keep it, they have 2 choices, raise it or give to someone else to raise it. Your choice would be to kill your unborn baby. Some people choose not to do so.
Could be the women were raised by mothers who did it all.
Yeah, exactly. If a woman was raised in a household with a worthless deadbeat man around, it would seem like a piece of cake, ONLY raising a child on your own.
I have a question, if you are not a parent, how can you make the statement that mothering skills come naturally to you. While I do agree that for some women it does come naturally but sometimes there are woman that need to work on it.
Babysitting, nannying, etc.
I put others before myself. I'm a giver. I've spent several weeks taking care of a newborn. Personally, I thought it was a piece of cake.
Some guys lie or change their minds. Some women lie about being on birth control. Sometimes, birth control doesn't work. Regardless of how they "ended up pregnant", they had 2 choices to make, kill it or carry it. If they choose to keep it, they have 2 choices, raise it or give to someone else to raise it. Your choice would be to kill your unborn baby. Some people choose not to do so.
Pretty much.
Also, consider the age and maturity of a woman at various stages. I am long past that level of gullibility but I can tell you that in my younger years, I had more than one guy tell me he was "sterile" due to some "childhood accident" and therefore, we didn't need to worry about protection.
So, due to some similar drunken BS and my own gullibility (long story), I ended up pregnant at 19, just shy of 20, with a guy who was not someone I was serious about. I had a LOT of family pressure to not have an abortion, so I didn't. Then I had a lot of family pressure to choose adoption and that was originally my plan... but something changed in me, emotionally, can't explain it but I just could NOT go forward with an adoption plan, and yes, I will say that while my mother warned me about how hard it would be, knowing she'd managed as a single mom and knowing I could count on at least some minimal family support (emotional) made it a bit easier to decide to keep and raise my baby.
The guy's parents tried very hard to get us to marry but thankfully we both realized that would be disaster, and he expressed his intent to be responsible and involved, but that didn't prove true. He paid some off and on support for a little while (but never visited), then married someone when my son was around three (because she was pregnant) and after that his willingness to meet his financial responsibility dropped to zero.
Point is, guys lie too and misrepresent their intentions. Both men and women do this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinkmani
Babysitting, nannying, etc.
I put others before myself. I'm a giver. I've spent several weeks taking care of a newborn. Personally, I thought it was a piece of cake.
I'm sorry, it's not the same. I was a babysitter from a very young age and did child care for many years, including lots of full time care and it is just not the same as parenting your own child.
Look at the running back for the Minnesota vikings Adrian Peterson situation.
Quote:
Lincoln County (S.D.) State's Attorney Tom Wollman said the investigation of a man charged in the death of a 2-year-old son of Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson is ongoing and that he doesn't expect to file new charges until the probe is complete, perhaps early next week.
"We are continuing to gather reports at this point," Wollman said Tuesday.
Police released the name of the toddler, who prosecutors say was beaten by a caregiver last week.
Tyrese Robert Doohen was pronounced dead on Friday, two days after 27-year-old Joey Patterson called to report a choking in the south Sioux Falls apartment they shared with the boy's mother.
Patterson was later interviewed by police and charged with aggravated assault on an infant and aggravated assault.
On Friday, Peterson's father confirmed that Doohen was the running back's biological son. Peterson was in Sioux Falls visiting the boy Thursday, but returned to practice Friday and played Sunday against the Carolina Panthers. Doohen's mother had only recently moved in with Patterson, police said last week.
Patterson remains in jail on a $750,000 cash bond. Wollman asked a judge last week to impose two suspended one-year jail terms on Patterson, who pleaded guilty last year to simple assault and a bond violation.
What!
Dude just signed a 96 million dollar deal,why is his babies mama moving in with known felons ?
I honestly don't know the answer to this. I can tell you that I harbored a lot of anger towards my sister for being a woman who did this, though.
The best hypothesis I've had is that she did it for herself. She'd talked about having a kid since she was in high school, and I think she got to a point in her life where nothing was going quite the way she wanted it to go. So, she created a "forever companion," someone who she knew would reliably always be there and something that was completely hers.
Her ex-boyfriend was upset about it at first because he'd made it clear from day one that he never wanted to have children. That's why I was angry at her, too - by doing what she did she represented every awful thing that misogynists accuse women of being. Plus, she was another statistic.
In her case, though, things worked out. Having a kid really made the baby daddy strive to be a better man than he had been, and he's consistently (and happily) made the effort to support his daughter even though he lives too far away to get to see her often.
So, her story has a lot of emotional and mental elements to it. For a lot of other women, though, it's as simple as being unable, unwilling, or too uninformed to purchase contraception.
You seem very bitter. I'm assuming that I hit a soft spot.
If people are offended, they should get over it. Everyone judges everyone. I care because I'm tired of seeing men being screwed over by the courts. No, it doesn't impact my personal life. If you don't have anything to contribute, then move along. I'm not forcing anyone to explain their situation. I'm just trying to understand their actions (which to me seem backwards). You're right, it's not my choice to decide whether or not someone has a child. I never said it was. You're right, it isn't up to me to teach others about birth control; however, as a college student who hears girls so, "I didn't know I could get pregnant if..." it frightens me.
I'm baffled when women say, "He's a deadbeat dad!" or "He doesn't visit his child" or "He doesn't pay child support." I then say to myself, "Well, you're the one that was on your back with your legs in the air, now you're complaining about the man you chose to father your child(ren). Generally, if a couple was married, he stays in their lives after the divorce is finalized.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinkmani
Firstly, I'm not a parent. My intentions aren't to insult others. I know that if I were to become pregnant out of wedlock (which is very unlikely), and he didn't want to be involved then off to the clinic I'd go. In my opinion, it doesn't seem logical to have a child with someone who doesn't want to be involved. I'm a strong believer that two parents are better than one.
Men have three forms of contraception: vasectomy, a condom, or the withdrawal method.
*To those who argue that the withdrawal method isn't reliable:
Women have several forms of contraception that they can use before intercourse: 2 implants, the patch, different BC pills, a shot, Nuvaring, cervical cap, female condom, diaphragm, calendar method, IUD, and tubal litigation. Not to mention, after they have sex, she has the morning-after pill, the sponge, spermicide, and the right to an abortion.
Ahhh, yes. It's always the woman's fault, you know, with her 'back in the air and all'. Do tell, was she on her back alone?
For a poster that states their intention is not to insult anyone, you changed your tune mighty quick.
Do you really suppose that it is THAT easy to have an abortion if the condom breaks? With all the advertising and accusations from the pro-life faction? They would say that a woman who has an abortion is a baby killer.
All of this goes through a woman's mind. You don't just waltz into an abortion clinic and easy, peasy, go on about your life. Most women don't anyway.
There is a choice to be made. It's not always an easy one.
Abortion, is not that easy...and it is very sad. It is a realization, that your life is too messed up to even think about adding another person to it. And having a baby, when you thought the Father loved you, and you found out, that he really could care less is even more devestating.
My sincere hope is that no one judges anyone for choosing to have a baby, when a Father bails, or having an abortion, because either way, it is a messed up situation...even giving a baby up for adoption, is also messed up...
Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone...
I've spent several weeks taking care of a newborn. Personally, I thought it was a piece of cake.
That's because you didn't spend 9 months growing that newborn and then delivering her and then recovering from the pregnancy and delivery. Not a piece of cake.
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