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Old 10-21-2013, 06:56 AM
 
Location: Northeastern US
19,990 posts, read 13,470,976 times
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Even framing the question in terms of whether or not you should "move on" suggests a deeper relationship than you should be engaged in vs your overtly intimate relationship with someone else. I'd be astounded if your significant other were comfortable with this.

In any case, you're not committed long term to this person, it's quite possible she doesn't realize it or hopes it will change, and in any case, you won't be around forever because at some point you'll graduate and "move on" anyway. All you're doing is allowing her to use you as a codependency and it's delaying her personal growth. For a person like her, personal growth is apt to come via hitting some kind of "personal bottom" anyway. You need to let it happen while she's at a relatively forgiving place in life and the campus mental health machinery can step in, say.

All this is in addition to what it's doing to you, which is basically sucking the life out of you.

So get out. Now.
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Old 10-21-2013, 07:20 AM
 
2,634 posts, read 3,692,833 times
Reputation: 5633
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Originally Posted by ur2cdanger View Post
This is the thing. I am 25 year old male.Here is a girl whom I befriended around 2 and half years ago. Let me say, this girl is fun to be around when she is in good mood. I like this girl and don't want to see her sad.

But the problem with her is she needs constant attention ( Like I have to text for 3 hrs a day, spend time with her daily, listen to her moaning and bitching about practically everything for 1 hour daily ). I personally feel I am losing my way because of this. I had to extend my school for 6 months because of this and even now when I am very busy in my job search I am spending around 3-4 hours daily of waking time for her when I have to be spending more time searching job.

The problem with her is she doesn't have any other friends, doesn't trust anyone, highly insecure, doesn't have any determination to do things but nice girl to be around with. She expects everything to fall in place for her but when it doesn't so moans a lot. I feel very affected because of this as I have to spend so much of my time and concentration for her. But I am feeling very bad to leave her. I am the only person she trusts and she does not have any other friends. The thought of leaving her in this state is making me very guilty. Leaving a good,nice girl when she is like this is making me very bad.But at the same time I feel she eats up so much of my time and concentration on irrelevant talks at inappropriate times. I tried telling her my situation gently but she goes into her microcosm and sits around as if the whole world has fallen. I am at crossroads. I don't know what to do. Leave her and move on or try telling her gently or harshly ? Please help me.

EDIT : I don't have any romantic intentions towards her. I am in a relationship for the past 8 years.
You need to ask if you should move on or not? You're kidding, right? You need to get some professional help. (I'm serious. We all need professional help at some time in all our lives.) You need to find out why you let this girl interfere with your education -- and, an educated guess -- your long-term relationship.
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