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I just turned 40 but I think I have a different life experience then you because I am not married, have no kids and am gay. The big difference between turning 40 and turning 30 was when I was 30 I was in grad school now I am working full time. I still party a lot but admit I do not go to the clubs nearly as often. I love to travel and eat out. In fact I am going on a 12 day Rome - Venice cruise next summer with my friends. One thing though is I think when you turn 40 you have to really take charge of your health to stay as healthy as possible. So I make sure I run every day on the elliptical runner, I run 11 miles, watch what I eat and take vitamins that way I can be just as healthy when I turn 50 as I am now. All in all turning 40 has not been bad, in fact, I had a week's long celebration celebrating it in May.
So my biggest advise it exercise and watch what you eat to make sure you stay healthy. Oh and keep enjoying life as it does not end when you turn 40 and we only live one.
That's what I've been doing since I turned 30 (in Janurary). I was 240 pounds (that's overweight for my 5'9 frame). I satrted out doing cardio, running, the gym once a week and push ups. Then in April my wife brought me the Total Gym, and that thing is priceless to me. Prior to the total gym I lost 10 pounds, after the Total Gym I'm down to 210. I used to wear a size 40 waist pants now I'm back to my High School waist size of 34 and I can even fit some 32's.
I started working out to get back in the same shape I was when I was in my teens and early 20's. I've noticed as you age you grow wider, not taller. I want to go into the 40's as fit as possible.
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Originally Posted by newerabuzz
the changes are subtle- from 30 to 40 yo- but from my experience the decade from the time you where in your 20s to the time you are in your early 40s is definite. There is a slight reduction in energy. Skin is not so fresh and resilient- it is best to refrain from the sun- use a sunscreen and stop using soap all over your body- use a soap free cleanser on your face.
For many- weight gain is a problem (though I dodged this till I was 55) Eat a higher antioxidant diet- reduce fast foods and red meat. Regular exercise is a must. Muscle strength will decline. At 30 I looked and was feeling incredible- at 40 I passed a kidney stone- some opportunistic illnesses- genetic or otherwise may creep up on you. At 40 I looked 30- but the years take a toll-
Like I stated above, I've been told that in the 40's a lot of family medical issues will start to appear. So try to watch what you eat and be fit as possible to offset those medical conditions. I already have a family of high blood pressure (heart disease), it appeared when I was 27. I had super high cholesterol and now it's in a very safe low range.
I also take my vitamin's everyday when I excersie with my total Gym. 15 minutes a day 7 days a week. I look better and feel better than I did when I was a skinny 5'9 160 pound point guard/ Running back in High school. I also enjoy the looks from women (though my wife gets a little possessive of me when we're out together ).
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShinyHappyLucy
1. How much have you changed in the 10 years (30 - 40 years old)?
I'm 39 but close enough. I've changed a good bit. This past year especially has been a time of immense growth in my life.
2. What major changed did you decide to make and did you keep it?
I went back to school in summer 2012 and am still there and will be for at least two more years.
3. How's life as a "empty nester"?
My youngest will be 3 in December so I'm still a good bit away from that.
4. What happens to your marriage during that time? Did you grow apart, are you still married, did your interests change or you became divorced?
I've grown a lot, started working toward goals, realized I don't want to waste a single second of my life. He has pretty much stayed the same. It's been trying.
5. What advice would you give a person who's in the 30 - 40 year range?
It's not too late to find a passion or start working toward a goal. It'll change you as a person. I spent all of my married life working from home and raising children. I'd say I lost myself, but in reality I didn't even know who I was. I'm now finding that out, and I like myself more now than I did even just a year ago let alone 10 years ago.
I'm making plans to go back to school to get another Degree (Fall 2014). Ironically, it's in Psychology. I've also been good at it, and my friend who was #1 in our class (I was #2) has 2 more years left on his PhD (in Research Psychology). So I'm finally not putting it off anymore. I have no intentions of getting to the doctor level (maybe a Bachelors at best, though that can change). But it's time to do it. I'm tired of being a computer wizard and my Art degree hasn't been kind to me over the years.
I'm curious. I'm 30 years old (I'll be 31 in 2.5 months), I've made so many major changes in my life since I turned 30. I have a couple of more major changes coming for 31 years old. I'd like to know about the mental state of those years when you see your body changing before your eyes and many of your hopes fading away or becoming reality.
My questions are:
1. How much have you changed in the 10 years (30 - 40 years old)?
2. What major changed did you decide to make and did you keep it?
3. How's life as a "empty nester"?
4. What happens to your marriage during that time? Did you grow apart, are you still married, did your interests change or you became divorced?
5. What advice would you give a person who's in the 30 - 40 year range?
Thank you to all those whom choose to share their thoughts.
If you're focused on your body, you're missing the great part about 30's. Most people in their 20s are not really finished developing. Your brain doesn't even stop growing until you're 26.
I've always said from 30 on, you've ~probably figured out by now who you are or are on the path to doing so. The major thing about 30 - 40 is you resolve any family issues by realizing your parents were simply an accidental relationship and they are who they are and there's no point in arguing about it. Good or bad they're just people. Flaws and strengths.
Are you going to be a easily influenced individual or are you going to be strong and convicted? This does not mean rude, obnoxious, placing blame on everyone else and hostile! You should gain a sense of serenity and self awareness and be able to crystallize what KIND of life you want. Independent? Are you going to MAKE your life happen? Are you going to stop looking BACK and make something of your own? Are you going to drag previous issues into your interpersonal relationships that are just repeats of former mistakes? Are you going to recognize WHY you do certain things or have certain excuses or whatever? Do you FINALLY realize that you can NOT change other people? Are you able to let other people be morons but still be successful yourself (work, LOL). Do you figure out YOUR values and have a deep internal intuitive sense of right and wrong and what's "right or wrong for YOU"?
AND very important. Do you "get" what money is and isn't? Do you figure out that debts are a ball and chain and living with LESS within your MEANS is freedom?
You come into your own - if you're lucky. If you are married this may or may not be a good thing.
If you read the Caregivers (and other) forums it's very interesting to see how some people carry parental issues way into their own senior years. Alot can be learned about the future by reading about people's thoughts, feelings, accomplishments, or lack of...and their influence of parents... and if they were successful in becoming independent or keep getting dragged back into family drama.
30s is the TOTAL BEST decade. Personal growth like no other, IMO. Well, I take that back. Women in their 50's rock. They are totally "over it" if they're lucky haha.
It also doesn't hurt to have a passion for something. But one that is productive. For example, being a collector of animals that take up your entire life and calling it "rescue" is denial. LIVE. Find something you love to do even if it's a hobby. And find people that live NORMAL lives, don't gravitate to certain mistake-people like "Oh he really needs someone, blah blah blah".
Last edited by runswithscissors; 10-27-2013 at 07:17 AM..
If you're focused on your body, you're missing the great part about 30's. Most people in their 20s are not really finished developing. Your brain doesn't even stop growing until you're 26.
I've always said from 30 on, you've ~probably figured out by now who you are or are on the path to doing so. The major thing about 30 - 40 is you resolve any family issues by realizing your parents were simply an accidental relationship and they are who they are and there's no point in arguing about it. Good or bad they're just people. Flaws and strengths.
Are you going to be a easily influenced individual or are you going to be strong and convicted? This does not mean rude, obnoxious, placing blame on everyone else and hostile! You should gain a sense of serenity and self awareness and be able to crystallize what KIND of life you want. Independent? Are you going to MAKE your life happen? Are you going to stop looking BACK and make something of your own? Are you going to drag previous issues into your interpersonal relationships that are just repeats of former mistakes? Are you going to recognize WHY you do certain things or have certain excuses or whatever? Do you FINALLY realize that you can NOT change other people? Are you able to let other people be morons but still be successful yourself (work, LOL). Do you figure out YOUR values and have a deep internal intuitive sense of right and wrong and what's "right or wrong for YOU"?
AND very important. Do you "get" what money is and isn't? Do you figure out that debts are a ball and chain and living with LESS within your MEANS is freedom?
You come into your own - if you're lucky. If you are married this may or may not be a good thing.
If you read the Caregivers (and other) forums it's very interesting to see how some people carry parental issues way into their own senior years. Alot can be learned about the future by reading about people's thoughts, feelings, accomplishments, or lack of...and their influence of parents... and if they were successful in becoming independent or keep getting dragged back into family drama.
30s is the TOTAL BEST decade. Personal growth like no other, IMO. Well, I take that back. Women in their 50's rock. They are totally "over it" if they're lucky haha.
It also doesn't hurt to have a passion for something. But one that is productive. For example, being a collector of animals that take up your entire life and calling it "rescue" is denial. LIVE. Find something you love to do even if it's a hobby. And find people that live NORMAL lives, don't gravitate to certain mistake-people like "Oh he really needs someone, blah blah blah".
Wow, just wow...this has got to be the best post that I have read in my life! Thank you and Repped! Sorry to hijack, but I see the majority of my problems surmised in this post. I thought it was all over for me until I read this. You have brightened my day.
I feel very remedial for not knowing this, but I'd rather feel that way than to not have read this by far!!
There is not much difference between 30 and 40. (I am not quite 40 yet.) If you take care of yourself and exercise, eat well, and stay out of the sun you will be about the same. Women's sexual peak is in their mid 30's, and I find this is pretty much true for my circle of friends. It may be because we are happier in our skin and more comfortable with our bodies.
My advice for staying young for men and women: use a tretinoin like retin-a, use a sunscreen on your face,neck,chest,and hands daily, don't over process your hair, wear sunglasses outdoors so you don't get crow's feet.Also, get plenty of sleep. Lots of people will tell you to drink tons of water, but that is a fallacy. Sure if you are dehydrated it's bad for your skin, but drinking a gallon a day is overkill and just causes you to go to the bathroom more.
1. How much have you changed in the 10 years (30 - 40 years old)?
I think I grew a great deal. Not so much "changed" but grew, as a person. By 30 I had begun to develop a good sense of who I am, but it took the next several years for that to really crystallize.
2. What major changed did you decide to make and did you keep it?
When I turned 30, I was in lower-level mgmt in a mental health organization, stressed out all the time about work, living in an apartment, and I had a few thousand dollars in credit card debt. I wanted to one day own a house, but didn't see how I could do so. By 40, I was in upper-level mgmt in another mental health organization, I'm able to separate out what's worth getting stressed about and what's not, I own my own house, and I have zero debt except my house. I'm earning twice as much as I was at 30, but I feel no need to spend money on the things I spent money on at 30 (clothes, going out).
3. How's life as a "empty nester"?
Since I never wanted or had kids, this doesn't apply to me (I don't even think it would apply to most people in their 40s--since people I know in their 40s tend to have young kids, and people I know in their 50s are still seeing their young adult kids living at home). But if you mean "living alone" I LOVE it! Tried living with my significant other for a number of years, because I thought at 30 that you're "supposed to" want to live with the person you love. But I learned I'm much happier living alone (sig other and I are still together, just with separate houses).
4. What happens to your marriage during that time? Did you grow apart, are you still married, did your interests change or you became divorced?
We were never married but living together. I grew more independent during that time, and bought him out of the house. We're still together, but I needed my own space.
5. What advice would you give a person who's in the 30 - 40 year range?
Set some concrete goals for where you want to be at 40. For me it was 1.) own a home, 2.) be ultra-responsible with my money, 3.) get a new career position in which my talents and skills are better recognized 4.)stop stressing about what's not important and give more attention to what's truly important to me.
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If you had asked me in my 20s how I felt about aging, I'd have said it would really bother me, as appearance was very important to me back then. By 30 that attitude was beginning to change. During my 30s I cared less and less about looking "old" or being stick-thin. At 44, I still look and feel younger than many of my peers, and I'm on okay shape, thought no longer a stick, but I'm much happier with myself. I'm also blessed with good health, so apart from my knees making "crunchy" noises, I feel fine physically. I sleep really well now, but in my 20s and even around 30, I had so much stress, I'd have trouble sleeping.
The sad things I saw in my 30's included:
--Losing my last grandparent (and realizing that my parents are next, and that I'll lose them some not-so-distant day)
--Seeing many peers get divorced (the ones who got married when we were in our 20s, who seemed so happy when they began their new married life)
--Seeing many peers fight serious illnesses like cancer (that never happened in my life before 30)
--Lots of problems with our nation and the world that impact me more than world/national events did in my youth
But apart from those few things, I would take my 40s over 30 any day!
Last edited by Tracysherm; 10-28-2013 at 12:54 PM..
I'm curious. I'm 30 years old (I'll be 31 in 2.5 months), I've made so many major changes in my life since I turned 30. I have a couple of more major changes coming for 31 years old. I'd like to know about the mental state of those years when you see your body changing before your eyes and many of your hopes fading away or becoming reality.
My questions are:
1. How much have you changed in the 10 years (30 - 40 years old)?
2. What major changed did you decide to make and did you keep it?
3. How's life as a "empty nester"?
4. What happens to your marriage during that time? Did you grow apart, are you still married, did your interests change or you became divorced?
5. What advice would you give a person who's in the 30 - 40 year range?
Thank you to all those whom choose to share their thoughts.
I've changed a lot in the 35 to 39 range. The reason was: I stumbled across a different belief, which changed my view of reality and my moral code. I also got divorced as a consequence of the first change. Didn't reach the stage of "empty nest" syndrome yet.
My advice: roll with the punches. Grow with life. If something changes, change along with it. A line from the song: "Souls in the wind have to learn how to bend...."
I'm noticing a some comments of divorce. Especially in some other threads on this site it seems like being married in your early 20's then divorcing in your 30's seems to be occurring a lot.
I understand your perspective changes as you age, but even I'm surprised that some things that I didn't consider or looked down upon earlier in my life, I can accept now. For example, I hated mustard with a passion, but I've been eating some delicious spicy mustard or French mustard on my sandwiches or burgers and it's really good.
Working out to get healty, seems to be everyone goal. I guess everyone wants to look great naked in front of the mirror
Between 30 and 40 were the biggest changes I made to my life. When I was 28, I lost a parent and became a parent - and that was a bittersweet introduction into becoming a truly independent person.
My 10 year old marriage disintegrated when I was 33, so I then became a single parent. My career at that time was escalating with my new-found confidence and everything finally started to feel very good. I felt more vibrant and uninhibited than I had when I was in my 20s but that could also be because I wasn't with an oppressive partner.
My favourite age, if there was one I could be forever, would be 37. That's when I feel I had everything - my looks and health were still intact, lol, and I felt like I could do anything. Not that it was all downhill from then on, on the contrary, I just mean as looks go downhill and wisdom/experience with life goes up, the two lines on the graph would have met when I was 37.
I met my second husband when I was almost 35, so we've been together 20 years now, and we live a much more carefree life than either of us did in our twenties. Our children are grown and successful, we don't care about material things as much as we did before, eg, no need for late model cars and glamorous vacations, we take pleasure in the simple things - a great meal, great company, travelling, hiking, etc. It's all good.
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